Custody Battle advice

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by AmyR, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. AmyR

    AmyR Mother of 2 girls!

    May 13, 2011
    Likes Received:
    Hello ladies!
    Had a few questions and thought I would ask here in case someone had some advice or insight for me.

    My first husband and I had our daughter in 2006 and split by the time she was a year old, we were together almost 9 years (married 6 of them) but it was not a great relationship and I had enough and left him. At the time, we agreed on joint custody, joint residency...even though she resided with me more then him and still does.

    So now she is almost 5, school starting and we have a trial date coming up in August. I am asking for full custody, guardianship, residency...for a number of reasons. First, my new husband and I who are expecting in November want to move to Victoria BC to settle and raise our family (we currently live in the same town as her father and have her 4 days a week and he has her 3 days a week - his mother lives next door to him and I would say cares for her 80% of the time he has her, clothes, food etc). Our move would be far enough away to make this current arrangement impossible, especially with school starting. So we would agree to visits every 2nd weekend, extended summer visits and alternating holidays. WE MAY decided to stay on the coast where we are now BUT her father is fighting with me on where to send her to school. He wants the school 2 minutes up the road from him, and I want the local one where I am. He thinks we can keep the 4/3 day a week arrangment and have her in school with me 3 days a week and school with him 2 days....
    which I find IMPOSSIBLE! She needs to be in one home during the school week, one school, a routine, security etc. I have a loving relationship, a brother or sister on the way, a home we own, schedules, routine, she has her own room etc. So thats our fight.

    Now the reasons I want her with ME is....he smokes pot, he hangs around a bad group of people, sleeps with her in his bed still -she has no room there, he never baths her, feeds her crap, has her up late and sleeps in late (his routine), he has slept with a minor in the past having his mother's foster care business shut down and had court papers seeking DNA testing on the baby the girl ended up having (ended up not being his and I dont think charges were laid), the girl was 15, he is 38. He argues and fights me on everything....he has not done taxes or had a regular job for 3 years, never paid me child support every, just a headcase to deal with.

    I am nervous for court, I just want my little girl to have a GOOD start in life and a routine for school so she has the best care possible.

    Any advice??

    Thanks so much to anyone who has any advice on this situation or has dealt with anything like this and can offer a helping hand. :hugs:
  2. Strawberrymum

    Strawberrymum Well-Known Member

    Apr 5, 2011
    Likes Received:
    I think what your asking for is completely reasonable I think your being easy on him. All I can say Is good luck :hugs:

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