Dealing with a breakup. **update pg3**

[karamel]

Oh that blows babe. Its gonna be hard, but I know your strong and you can make it through.
Im sure he'll be a great father, regardless.

We are all here for ya's!

Yes a great father indeed -- such a great father that he told me tonight "the only reason I'd play with a knife would be to give you an abortion" -- during our break up this evening.
Yeah, a wonderful father.

You are well out of it!!! I know it sounds harsh but if he is that kind of a person he is not someone you need around you! You sound like a lovely person who will be a great Mummy! I'm glad that you have your mum and sister there to support you. Take care....

He is definitely not someone I need around me, or my baby.
Being the father or not, and i know it's harsh, but he's not having anything to do with this child. I dont need nor want child support, and I dont want to EVER let my child alone with him.

 

[Jordicia]

I think you are very brave and increadibly sensible for thinking to the future for you and your baby. Surround yourself with your family for support as you will need them at times. You are going to have the most amazing bond with your baby, just cherish him or her and stay strong xxx

 

[karamel]

**Update**

He has been released from jail.
He has conditions which include not being able to come within 200 meters of my house. Can't come near my work. And can't be anywhere that i am or might be. If he is, I am to report it to the police.
And he gets one opportunity to gather his belongings from my apartment, and it will be with a police escort, at my convenience.
These conditions apply till he goes to court, which will be most likely a year + .
I feel much more safe and comfortable now.

 

[Starbucket]

Im glad you are feeling more secure..that is good news.

 

[bek74]

**Update**

He has been released from jail.
He has conditions which include not being able to come within 200 meters of my house. Can't come near my work. And can't be anywhere that i am or might be. If he is, I am to report it to the police.
And he gets one opportunity to gather his belongings from my apartment, and it will be with a police escort, at my convenience.
These conditions apply till he goes to court, which will be most likely a year + .
I feel much more safe and comfortable now.

What was he in jail for? you didn't mention anything about jail or charges in your other posts. Sorry just a little confused. Cause last night he made that horrible comment about abortion and now he is released from jail.

 

[JASMAK]

**Update**

He has been released from jail.
He has conditions which include not being able to come within 200 meters of my house. Can't come near my work. And can't be anywhere that i am or might be. If he is, I am to report it to the police.
And he gets one opportunity to gather his belongings from my apartment, and it will be with a police escort, at my convenience.
These conditions apply till he goes to court, which will be most likely a year + .
I feel much more safe and comfortable now.

Take care hon, and remember...we are all here for you.

 

[loopylou86]

Well it's official, the father of my bean and I are breaking up.
It's been coming for a while, but it's still going to be hard to accept.
I just don't know what I'm going to do to be honest.
It's already planning that I'll be moving in with my sister in April now, but it's going to be very hard to be a single mom right from birth.
I guess I just really need some support.

Hun, I understand where you are coming from. I am having problems with my OH too and am really thinking I am going to be alone. Will still live at home and he thinks we can stay that way until after the baby is born but I cant stay at home, no room and thought we would be starting our life together. Seems things are too messed up for him and I am going to end up doing this alone. I mentioned about the nights and days where I will be alone and he will only be there every now and again and we just ended up rowing. So scared, not sure where to start to get help

 

[beatnick]

jail?



WTF?

there is me thinking he is just a bit of a b@st@rd!

You are well out of that!

 

[karamel]

**Update**

He has been released from jail.
He has conditions which include not being able to come within 200 meters of my house. Can't come near my work. And can't be anywhere that i am or might be. If he is, I am to report it to the police.
And he gets one opportunity to gather his belongings from my apartment, and it will be with a police escort, at my convenience.
These conditions apply till he goes to court, which will be most likely a year + .
I feel much more safe and comfortable now.

What was he in jail for? you didn't mention anything about jail or charges in your other posts. Sorry just a little confused. Cause last night he made that horrible comment about abortion and now he is released from jail.

Sorry i guess i failed to mention that when he made that comment, my being unaware if he would actually follow through with the threat, i called the police and had him arrested. Uttering a threat to cause bodily harm.

 

[karamel]

Well it's official, the father of my bean and I are breaking up.
It's been coming for a while, but it's still going to be hard to accept.
I just don't know what I'm going to do to be honest.
It's already planning that I'll be moving in with my sister in April now, but it's going to be very hard to be a single mom right from birth.
I guess I just really need some support.

Hun, I understand where you are coming from. I am having problems with my OH too and am really thinking I am going to be alone. Will still live at home and he thinks we can stay that way until after the baby is born but I cant stay at home, no room and thought we would be starting our life together. Seems things are too messed up for him and I am going to end up doing this alone. I mentioned about the nights and days where I will be alone and he will only be there every now and again and we just ended up rowing. So scared, not sure where to start to get help

I'm not sure where you're from, but if there's anything like public health in your area, you're first place to start would be there.
I know where I am, they're very helpful in getting you support and groups to help through pregnancy, with the father or not.
I'm sorry you're going through this as well, but good luck. And i'm sure you'll make the right decision for you and your bean

 

[karamel]

jail?



WTF?

there is me thinking he is just a bit of a b@st@rd!

You are well out of that!

Because of the threat to give me an abortion I called the cops and had him arrested. I didn't know if he'd actually do it or not :S

 

[firsttimemumm]

OMG!! You should not be dealing with this right now! Take care and call on your support network - you deserve it!

 

[beatnick]

SHEESH! This man sounds AWFUL!

Do you friends/family know about this?

 

[aliss]

Good for you karamel. I work in law enforcement, I see a lot of (even pregnant) women beat up and threatened on a daily basis and they refuse to leave the man or tell the police. Their children often get beat too. And yes, I've seen a few guys actually push girls down the stairs when they are pregnant. It's gross. After 5 years, I can't think of more than 2 women that were hurt by someone that was NOT their boyfriend or husband. It's ridiculous how abusive some people can get - and they always threaten first.

Remember you can also contact the victim services at the police department and they are a great group of volunteer ladies, they are more than willing to follow up with you and see how things are going (if you wish that). It is, of course, confidential.

 

[Gizmo]

[/QUOTE]Sorry i guess i failed to mention that when he made that comment, my being unaware if he would actually follow through with the threat, i called the police and had him arrested. Uttering a threat to cause bodily harm.[/QUOTE]

You sound like a very sensible person..... Calling the police IMO was the right thing to do. I wish more and more women would take threats seriously. Now you have the courts backing you up which may or may not be really important in the future.
You have a good head on your shoulders and you and your baby have a great future. More women need to realise that having a 'bad example' around is NOT what a baby needs.

 

[karamel]

SHEESH! This man sounds AWFUL!

Do you friends/family know about this?

Everyone knows about it. I'm definitely not keeping it a secret.
It was actually my mom who told me to call the cops.
And my sister was here when it all happened!

 

[karamel]

Good for you karamel. I work in law enforcement, I see a lot of (even pregnant) women beat up and threatened on a daily basis and they refuse to leave the man or tell the police. Their children often get beat too. And yes, I've seen a few guys actually push girls down the stairs when they are pregnant. It's gross. After 5 years, I can't think of more than 2 women that were hurt by someone that was NOT their boyfriend or husband. It's ridiculous how abusive some people can get - and they always threaten first.

Remember you can also contact the victim services at the police department and they are a great group of volunteer ladies, they are more than willing to follow up with you and see how things are going (if you wish that). It is, of course, confidential.

Thank you. And thank you for the advice, I'll definitely keep it in mind.

 

[karamel]

Sorry i guess i failed to mention that when he made that comment, my being unaware if he would actually follow through with the threat, i called the police and had him arrested. Uttering a threat to cause bodily harm.[/QUOTE]

You sound like a very sensible person..... Calling the police IMO was the right thing to do. I wish more and more women would take threats seriously. Now you have the courts backing you up which may or may not be really important in the future.
You have a good head on your shoulders and you and your baby have a great future. More women need to realise that having a 'bad example' around is NOT what a baby needs.[/QUOTE]

I know a lot of women who are threatened or even beaten and stay with their significant other for their child.
I'm sorry, but i'd rather be a single mother and know that me and my child are safe. I don't need a man. I got what i wanted/needed from the relationship, I don't need to stick around to hope for a "perfect family". My family will be perfect just me and my little one