Dealing with jealousy

[DaniJean]

I feel like such a horrible person but I know I must not be alone....does anyone else feel extremely jealous every time someone around you is pregnant?

I feel terrible for letting jealously get the best of me, but every single time I see or hear about someone getting pregnant I just burst into tears. I hate to feel like this but I just can't help it!

Not only am I helping plan and throw my SIL's shower, but two of my cousins just announced they are pregnant. DH doesn't get it. He just says "everything happens for a reason, our time is coming, etc. etc." But it's so hard to understand what the reason could be for not being a mom yet.

I know I can't possibly be alone on this one. How does everyone deal with the green eyed monster?!

 

[AMN21]

I feel like such a horrible person but I know I must not be alone....does anyone else feel extremely jealous every time someone around you is pregnant?

I feel terrible for letting jealously get the best of me, but every single time I see or hear about someone getting pregnant I just burst into tears. I hate to feel like this but I just can't help it!

Not only am I helping plan and throw my SIL's shower, but two of my cousins just announced they are pregnant. DH doesn't get it. He just says "everything happens for a reason, our time is coming, etc. etc." But it's so hard to understand what the reason could be for not being a mom yet.

I know I can't possibly be alone on this one. How does everyone deal with the green eyed monster?!

I feel the same! And DH tells me the same thing. I feel like everyone around me is always pregnant or ANOTHER person is announcing they are. I JUST WANT IT TO BE MY TURN! I just helped throw my sister's baby shower and of course I'm very excited for her but at the same time jealous. I hate when everyone keeps saying to me "oh you need to have one now" I know not everyone knows I'm trying but its frustrating!

But we WILL get our BFPs soon enough!!! I just know it! Keep your head up!

 

[Dana_Scully]

I'm the same as well. I get SO jealous! I try not to be and it's so hard. I've been like that for ages, way before TTC lol.

 

[pookie1987]

I am the same way, it seems like every month that goes by and we get a BFN someone else tells me they are expecting At first I get really upset(bc half of them are NOT trying and it was an accident) but after a day or so I relax and stop focusing on other peoples news and just focus on creating my own news!!!

 

[Miss Broody]

Hey, i am afraid i have not found much too help, it does help a bit if you know the other couple was trying and will be great parents, but as i know we would too it still makes me want to cry.

My Bf is now 6 months and some days it really hurts talking to her. She has no idea we are now on our 5th month of trying.

My dh is the same, really wants kids but just assumes it will happen some time soon and that is doesnt matter when or what order etc. I guess we are all just more pessemistic as we know more about it than they do.

Fingers crossed its our turn soon! xx

 

[AnnaLaura]

I feel like such a horrible person but I know I must not be alone....does anyone else feel extremely jealous every time someone around you is pregnant?

I feel terrible for letting jealously get the best of me, but every single time I see or hear about someone getting pregnant I just burst into tears. I hate to feel like this but I just can't help it!

Not only am I helping plan and throw my SIL's shower, but two of my cousins just announced they are pregnant. DH doesn't get it. He just says "everything happens for a reason, our time is coming, etc. etc." But it's so hard to understand what the reason could be for not being a mom yet.

I know I can't possibly be alone on this one. How does everyone deal with the green eyed monster?!

I know how you feel. The girl that lives next door to me had a baby in February and it was hard to take. They didn't even want a baby. Now they are moving out and I'm so relieved, but I feel a little bad for being happy about it.

 

[Flutterbabies]

Oh my god I am exactly the same. I can't help it. I am quite a jealous person anyway but my SIL just had a baby and I can't help but feel overwhelming jealous. The worst part is she had a horrible journey to get to where she is, she lost 3 babies along the way and deserves her baby daughter more than anyone I know. How awful am I for feeling jealous??!

 

[Clucky as]

I feel the same way, even jealous of complete strangers. I just think to myself the longer it takes to come the more money I will have for lo and the more annual leave saved up. Maybe u could think of those positives too.? it helps only a little tho

 

[Mazzy17]

I know I can't possibly be alone on this one. How does everyone deal with the green eyed monster?!

Ben and Jerrys Ice cream forget the spoon! No time for spoons.

 

[Peanut Love]

Ben and Jerrys Ice cream forget the spoon! No time for spoons.[/QUOTE]

A-men.


Jealousy gets us all. I went to Target yesterday and I felt like I was in a vidoe game, trying to run from all the babies and prego women around me. I seriously need a pair of horse blinders when I was around stores like that because of my jealousy.

However, I kind of think of it this way. When I am preggo, other women might look at me and wish they were preggo too, just like we all did. My way of dealing with this is actually to help others. I try to come on these forums and offer support and advice, just like everyone did when I needed it. In some way, this helps me deal with jealousy much better than pouting about it. Although, I do enjoy pouting from time to time.

 

[c1403]

I am the same....finding it really hard to hear about other peoples pregnancys etc.
4 people i know are expecting..SIL, Neighbour, Friend and Colleague.

Unfortuantly its got me down quite a bit that i try not to speak to them as much as i usually do (neither are great friends of mine anway but i must admit ive avoided seeing them as it makes me jealous/envious)

My OH states the same and hes probably right, its early days for us still but i am very impatient and sick of counting every single day as it seems to take ages to get anywhere

 

[Peanut Love]

I am the same....finding it really hard to hear about

Unfortuantly its got me down quite a bit that i try not to speak to them as much as i usually do (neither are great friends of mine anway but i must admit ive avoided seeing them as it makes me jealous/envious)

I am the same way too. So glad someone else has actually avoided people because of this. I had a friend who had a baby and she was super different. She would say things like, "You have no idea how busy I am now, etc." I was so infuriated that she said things like that. Soooo frustrating.

 

[Moondance]

Right there with you.
I almost explode with jealousy and anger and hurt feelings. I feel so hurt by it, even when those people don't even know I'm trying, I instantly think "WHY???? WHY YOU??? WHY NOT MY TURN???"

its just..... I'm so over it now. I'm over feeling like a failure that I'm not there yet after 20 months of trying!

 

[BrightTights]

I too feel sorry for myself ever time someone announces their news! It's not that I don't want them to have a baby, it's because I want one too! I didn't realise how much until we decided to go for it!
We've been ttc for 8 months now. It seems all my friends and family fell within 3 months of ttc. None of them know we're ttc so its hard when they go on and feel the need to make remarks about us not wanting kids or saying it's about time we had one, etc, etc. Had one friend tell me she couldn't see me with children anyway! *sigh* I'll get over it!

 

[themarshas]

I don't have an answer. Just know that you're not alone. I get ridiculously jealous when I see women with little ones. Blah! I live down the street from the Ben & Jerry Factory so that helps. haha but, planning my sister's shower is a nightmare on the emotions. Just wishing it were me instead

 

[taylorxx]

I understand why you feel that way hun.. I don't ever feel jealous for pregnant women as I have no idea of what they've gone through. Sometimes I do get a little sad, and wonder why that isn't me, but I'm never really "jealous".. Whenever I was pregnant, this lady was quite rude to me even though it was her first month trying. At the time, I was trying for 7 months (I know, not long) and had two chemicals since then.. So I was very ecstatic I made it past 5 weeks. She didn't know about my past or anything like that, she seemed to have just assumed I got pregnant right away. I was very hurt I really understand why it upsets women though, just remember we don't know what they've gone through or how long they've tried... I hope I didn't come off as harsh as that was not my intention AT ALL Wishing you lots of sticky baby dust xx

 

[Moondance]

I too feel sorry for myself ever time someone announces their news! It's not that I don't want them to have a baby, it's because I want one too! I didn't realise how much until we decided to go for it!
We've been ttc for 8 months now. It seems all my friends and family fell within 3 months of ttc. None of them know we're ttc so its hard when they go on and feel the need to make remarks about us not wanting kids or saying it's about time we had one, etc, etc. Had one friend tell me she couldn't see me with children anyway! *sigh* I'll get over it!

Ugh... Nice friend, to say a thing like that.... Thats so uncool

 

[taylorxx]

I too feel sorry for myself ever time someone announces their news! It's not that I don't want them to have a baby, it's because I want one too! I didn't realise how much until we decided to go for it!
We've been ttc for 8 months now. It seems all my friends and family fell within 3 months of ttc. None of them know we're ttc so its hard when they go on and feel the need to make remarks about us not wanting kids or saying it's about time we had one, etc, etc. Had one friend tell me she couldn't see me with children anyway! *sigh* I'll get over it!

Ugh... Nice friend, to say a thing like that.... Thats so uncool

WOW that is very very rude of your "friend".. Maybe she just didn't know what to say so she came out with that nonsense.. but seriously, that's so messed up to say to someone TTC! xx

 

[EAandBA_TTC]

I catch myself feeling the same way... We've been trying for a few months, which I know is normal, but I had hopes (like everyone else) that we would have instant success... Month 3 of TTC- a woman at work announced that her teenage daughter was mistakenly pregnant... It was very hard to not have a bad reaction... Still hoping for Sept's BFP, but fading fast... Looking towards October...

 

[KozmikKitten]

I feel the same way as you ladies! I used to get upset when FAMILY members were getting pregnant (we are the only couple in the "cousins" generation who has not yet started a family). But now that they have started their #2s, and SIL is pregnant with #3, I feel even worse. To top it off, I had a m/c in August at 7 weeks, and my SIL announced her pregnancy just a week before the m/c and had the same due date as me.

I am currently planning my BFF's baby shower. She is 6 months also and it is harder than I thought it would be. We have been friends since I was 3 and she was 2...and always joked about how we were going to be pregnant together. It seems like a cruel "joke" now.

Trying to move on though! I get to start trying again in Oct!

Good luck to everyone here. At least we can share these things with each other! It helps me; I hope it helps you all, too!