Dealing with visitors

[enceinte2012]

My baby is. 11 days old and we r having terrible trouble settling her at night. She is basically awake between 12 and 6 and crying a lot of that time. We are getting very little sleep and my husband is still trying to go to work.

Obviously a lot of people want to visit and see the baby. I am trying to stagger visits and limit the time so it's not overwhelming. However, well meaning friends and neighbours keep 'appearing' at the door unannounced and I feel obliged to let them in, let them see/hold the baby etc. for example my husband took yesterday off so we could register the birth and he could catch up on some paperwork. I cancelled a scheduled visit with a friend, but 2 neighbours and my brother in law 'popped in' unexpectedly. People keep saying 'sleep when baby sleeps' but the problem is baby sleeps through the day when we are inundated with visitors meaning by evening we are totally exhausted and haven't done half of what we were meant to have done!

Have any of you experienced this and how did you handle it?

 

[LDC]

My baby is. 11 days old and we r having terrible trouble settling her at night. She is basically awake between 12 and 6 and crying a lot of that time. We are getting very little sleep and my husband is still trying to go to work.

Obviously a lot of people want to visit and see the baby. I am trying to stagger visits and limit the time so it's not overwhelming. However, well meaning friends and neighbours keep 'appearing' at the door unannounced and I feel obliged to let them in, let them see/hold the baby etc. for example my husband took yesterday off so we could register the birth and he could catch up on some paperwork. I cancelled a scheduled visit with a friend, but 2 neighbours and my brother in law 'popped in' unexpectedly. People keep saying 'sleep when baby sleeps' but the problem is baby sleeps through the day when we are inundated with visitors meaning by evening we are totally exhausted and haven't done half of what we were meant to have done!

Have any of you experienced this and how did you handle it?

Hey I had the same problem, I just stopped answering the door or if I was n the kitchen (and they could see me) I'd just answer the door, apologise and say baby was sleeping and to come back later or say I was on my way out so I would get in touch when was a better time. Sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind, for your own sanity.

We always put LO down at 8-9pm, if I still have visitors then I tell them to leave...they soon learn!

People mean well but it's bloody annoying when they just rock up. Good news is soon it all stops and noones that interested anymore!

Xx

 

[enceinte2012]

I know it won't last forever and the novelty will wear off it just seems like every time I'm about to put my head down for a sleep the door goes. I'm actually considering taking the carry cot over to my mums tomorrow and hiding there for a sleep!

I'm on the verge of not answering the door now unless I'm expecting someone.

 

[detterose]

My sister told me to put a note on the door, Mum and baby sleeping. Do not disturb

 

[Joybell]

As above. Put a sweet little note on your door. If you're exhausted keep your curtains or blinds shut over so no one can spot you.

Only a complete idiot would knock if your curtains were shut and you've left a note on your door.

Good luck- the other poster is right people soon get bored after a couple of weeks lol

Joy x

 

[leahtaba]

Aw i remember this well... i hated visitors! Now i cant even get anyone round here for a quick cuppa i would go with shutting the blinds and avoiding the door! X

 

[veryfondoftea]

So rude of people to come round without checking first! Especially when you have a new baby. I hated that. I just got really strict and told people it wasn't a good time and we would arrange something another time. With planned visits I let people come for one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon and that was it.

For my sanity it was important for me to lay down firm boundaries!

 

[Twister]

As others have said I just wouldn't answer the door! People probably mean well but it's so rude to turn up unnanounced.

 

[lilmissdanni]

I know my situation is a little different, but since lo was in hospital on Sunday, everyone wants to come and see him.

Hes a grumpy little monster at the moment, our house is a mess and coz im up most of the night with lo, when he naps, I'm trying nap. I started being quite blunt with people yesterday and just said that it wasnt a good time....noone was offended.

 

[jd83]

My sister told me to put a note on the door, Mum and baby sleeping. Do not disturb

agree. I did this, made up a sign and put it on the door when we were resting so that no one would disturb us during those times. don't feel bad about it, you have to get enough rest to be able to function and care for your baby.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I know how you feel. My family were round everyday when my baby was born. They did help out a bit and walked the dog, but it drove my husband mad as we were so bound by what time they were coming round etc. In the end we just had to say no more visitors for a few days as it was getting too much.

My MIL came up to stay with us for an entire week when LO was a week old. I was still learning to breastfeed and was terrified about breastfeeding in front of her at that point, I still think this could've easily ended up wrecking breastfeeding for us, staying the whole week at such an early stage.

I hope you are able to get it sorted. It's like they forget how stressed they must have been with a newborn and visitors knocking on the door while they're trying to bond with the baby and get used to parenthood!

 

[detterose]

I know how you feel. My family were round everyday when my baby was born. They did help out a bit and walked the dog, but it drove my husband mad as we were so bound by what time they were coming round etc. In the end we just had to say no more visitors for a few days as it was getting too much.

My MIL came up to stay with us for an entire week when LO was a week old. I was still learning to breastfeed and was terrified about breastfeeding in front of her at that point, I still think this could've easily ended up wrecking breastfeeding for us, staying the whole week at such an early stage.

I hope you are able to get it sorted. It's like they forget how stressed they must have been with a newborn and visitors knocking on the door while they're trying to bond with the baby and get used to parenthood!

I could've written this myself. MIL stayed a week without letting us know, we thought it was going to be a day or two. However, it DID ruin breastfeeding for us. And as a result I ended up getting severe mastitis and having to put LO on formula. I ended up with PND after this. I wish I had have spoken up at the time and asked her to politely leave before we let it get that bad

 

[Bevziibubble]

I know how you feel. My family were round everyday when my baby was born. They did help out a bit and walked the dog, but it drove my husband mad as we were so bound by what time they were coming round etc. In the end we just had to say no more visitors for a few days as it was getting too much.

My MIL came up to stay with us for an entire week when LO was a week old. I was still learning to breastfeed and was terrified about breastfeeding in front of her at that point, I still think this could've easily ended up wrecking breastfeeding for us, staying the whole week at such an early stage.

I hope you are able to get it sorted. It's like they forget how stressed they must have been with a newborn and visitors knocking on the door while they're trying to bond with the baby and get used to parenthood!

I could've written this myself. MIL stayed a week without letting us know, we thought it was going to be a day or two. However, it DID ruin breastfeeding for us. And as a result I ended up getting severe mastitis and having to put LO on formula. I ended up with PND after this. I wish I had have spoken up at the time and asked her to politely leave before we let it get that bad

Oh no! I'm so sorry it ruined breastfeeding for you You must feel so resentful of your MIL for that