Delayed ejaculation or performance anxiety

[Waithope]

Hi all, my dh is 34 & I am 32. We decided to try for baby #2 but in the last 2 months my dh hadn't been able to ejaculate. Dh & I joke and talk about the subject very openly. He says he knows how much I want a baby #2 and he feels pressured to come. I really don't know what do or say... Just wondering if anyone is in the similar situation, have any tips or advice.

My dh hasn't had any problems since we started trying two months ago

He can come by himself

Thank you for reading & any advice, tips or successful stories are much appreciated & welcome.

Wait & hope
Xxx

 

[Chezwick]

I didn't want to read and run but I did want to wish you good luck. I'm sure that is terribly frustrating. My only advice is to try to make it as spontaneous as possible so hopefully he wont think too much. Wishing you lots of baby dust!

 

[Fleur29]

I think performance anxiety is incredibly common. My dh had it when we ttc our daughter and now we are onto month 2 of ttc #2 and he is already pretty angsty about it. It's soooo hard because there is so much pressure! As the pp said - maybe try making it spontaneous? Could you have a couple of drinks (though not too many!) to help him relax and try to get caught up in the moment? No one tells you about this when you think about trying for a baby do they! But I think it's extremely common.

Anyway hugs and hope you get your bfp soon xxxxx

 

[Emmi]

Agree with all the above.....It's so much pressure for them and performing like a circus act is not easy for them! I have had so many issues with hubby about it all - if we just had to do it at weekends with a glass of wine - then it would be fine. But when have to do it on a Tuesday night when he is exhausted after work - well that's another matter.

The only way that I have managed to make it work is by not telling him that it's for baby-making purposes and making it that little bit more fun.

 

[Waithope]

Thank you so much for your replies! It really means alot, it's not something I can talk to my friends and family about... Also they won't understand too

Unfortunately my dh doesn't drink but I will give it a try

Again thank you so much xxx

Big baby dust to you all too

 

[m.knight]

Yep, same problem. We did at home insemination in the end,1st cycle missed ovulation, 2nd cycle BFN, 3rd cycle BFP!! You have to be opens bout it and be able to laugh about it, it was a means to the end. We still had great sex, but sex was just never going to be the way we conceived. You can message me if u want to, as I know it's quite a sensitive subject.

 

[Waithope]

Thank you so much for replying m.knight. Firstly, big c

 

[Waithope]

Thank you so much for replying m.knight. Firstly, big c

Big congrats, I can only imagine how happy you both are.

Comments like this, really gives me hope... Will not give up!!!

I have google home insemination and something we are both willing to try.

Do you do it via the softcup?

Again, big congrats xxx

 

[m.knight]

No, we did it so simply. OH went off and did his business in the cup, there was no pressure, he did it when he wanted to (morning / evening etc) and took as long as he needed to. He could only manage 1ml or so at a time (clearly it was enough!). When done, he brought it to me, we sucked it up into a syringe with 1ml conceive plus, squirted it in me and left the syringe in for an hour or so while I lay there.
It was much more relaxing for him as I didn't put any pressure on him, we both laughed about it a LOT and he could focus on him and not me. Also, it meant that each month, we did it once a day for 5/6 days over ovulation.... He would never be able to manage as that often! When we started it took him 20 mins or so and by the last few times it took him a couple of mins, so helped him too!!
Best of luck with it, it really does work and its just they way it's meant to happen for some of us!

 

[Mrs_T]

How about having sex when you know you aren't ovulating too - then it really is just for fun - over time that could help. I'd be all for home insemination if needed - if it means you get a baby at the end of it, who cares how those spermies get there!

Hope it all works out for you.

 

[m.knight]

We would have sex at all times of the month with the same result, he just couldn't ejaculate in me. Don't know why! We went through every option... Morning, afternoon, evening, outdoors (lol). Sometimes, it just is what it is.

 

[Waithope]

Thanks again.

Thanks mrs_T, just have regular sex... Hopefully this situation isn't forever but my feel for dh wouldn't change either way! That's important to my hubby

A friend announced she's pregnant! My husband asked how I feel.. Obviously I am happy for her but very jealous too!! I replied "if it's meant to be then it will happen"

I think we will try:
Point of no return
Softcup
Syring

 

[Waithope]

Is this since trying to conceive?

 

[Waithope]

Hi all, just wanted to sign off my post that after 2months, dh managed to ejectlate... One night, we had a chat, I told him how I feel and he decided that he will keep coming until he ejaculate!! We tried lots of different positions and currently in the tww but I think the timing is wrong but it's a start

Good luck to any other couple experiencing this!! There is light at the end if the tunnel xxx