Delayed Ejaculation

[merle]

Oops, I mean about 11 posts up is where I described our situation with delayed ejaculation. We were successful, so don't lose hope!!

 

[herry]

I registered to BnB so I could chat to other women who are experiencing the same TTC story as myself. My husband has had problems with DE or RE as it is sometimes called for over 20 years, well before he met me! Never an issue before but like many others have said before it is fine right up until the point you decide you are TTC. Plan A was for the past year or so to 'see what happens' and of course nothing happened. Now we're on Plan B which is to use a home insemination kit. currently on 2nd cycle.

It is so encouraging to know that there are other couples out there going through the same issues, I find the only person I can really talk to about it is my husband as it isn't something you really want to share with your girlfriends. And he doesn't exactly want to go over it time and time again!

Lets just hope we get our BFP soon!

 

[KnitWit]

I think I've read just about every resource out there on the net. I guess I'm just looking for someone with this problem who also has a happy ending.

hi ya, have the same problem as you, just wondering a few years on did you manage to concieve and if so how?xx

Hello! I didnt realise this thread was still active. Seems so long ago! Well my story got a bit more complicated when i was dignosed with PCOS. My OH's problem seemed to getter a bit better as we relaxed the whole TTC process a bit. To be honest i'd pretty much given up then out of the blue i got my BFP last week!

The way I tackle the DE problem was to make my OH more aware of when i would be typically ovulating. Not a specific day just the week. We would try and have as much sex as we could that week but I would not even hint at which day was the actual O day. It made the process a bit more relaxed i think.
In the month i conceived we had sex twice during the week i assumed i would ovulate. Ive no idea which day it was as i said i'd given up hope really and stopped tracking these things. When i say we had sex i mean 'successful' sex.

Anyway, i thought i'd pop back in to just let you know that it is possible!

 

[soanxious237]

I am feeling pretty crappy right now. My fertile window is here and DH is not cooperating well. I have not actually used the term DE with him, but he knows he has a problem. I know home insem is the way to go for us. We have talked about. I have driven to the pharmacy and gotten the syringe. I have sterilezed it. It is in his man cave and ready to go. So why won't he try?

We have to talk about this. I am just not sure how to start the conversation. How do I ask him to go finish? He has finished once with me in the 10 years we have been together. He has finished a few times through masturbation with me in the room helping.

I feel like I need a script! Somehow 'hey, do you think you might try to cum tonight?' does not sound right.

 

[Nephew]

Hi, I have been with my partner for a year and and we have been having sex for about 9 months.

I am 28, he is 36.


We have a regular sex, but I realised that he is not able to ejaculate, he only ejaculated about 4-5 times in last 9 months!

I am very frustrated and worried that we will not be able to have children?

Any suggestions before "sending him to see a doctor"? i.e. positions etc...


Thanks for answers

 

[Nephew]

I registered to BnB so I could chat to other women who are experiencing the same TTC story as myself. My husband has had problems with DE or RE as it is sometimes called for over 20 years, well before he met me! Never an issue before but like many others have said before it is fine right up until the point you decide you are TTC. Plan A was for the past year or so to 'see what happens' and of course nothing happened. Now we're on Plan B which is to use a home insemination kit. currently on 2nd cycle.

It is so encouraging to know that there are other couples out there going through the same issues, I find the only person I can really talk to about it is my husband as it isn't something you really want to share with your girlfriends. And he doesn't exactly want to go over it time and time again!

Lets just hope we get our BFP soon!

Hi, I am in the same situation as you. I am having difficuilty discussing this with my partner as he gets upset when I start talking about his inability to ejaculate.

Did you get help by GP / NHS?

thanks

 

[ManicSurry]

Alright mates...I'm totally lost, confused but finally not alone. My husband and I (i have no idea what all of your acronyms mean and while I would love to look them all up i need to post this before i lose my nerve)

My husband has DE...perfect with is hand, can't quite make it with me (though I can use my hand and at least I can do that...) And we're TTC. Currently we're having a nice chat about different approaches.

has anyone had ANY luck with having sex til you climax then letting him jack off until he's ready to cum and then pushing it in. *blushes deeply* I just...want to try and make this happen. he won't allow the bloody syringe and we can't afford the doctors to get involved. Admittedly we've not been at this for long (about 6 months) but...due to my own medical issues, we literally are running out of time. (castrocondritis causing slipped and sublaxed ribs...they dislocate) We found a solution for now but in the long run, when i'm older my body won't be able to heal from what carrying a child does to the back.

Any advice my lovelies?

 

[Care76]

This whole post will be TMI! I don't know if I can be of much help since this has only happened occasionally for my DH. It happens during O week and when we have sex every day. If we go every other it is usually ok. I find that going out of our norm helps. Toys, dirty talk, me being more vocal and even hurting him a bit and rougher sex helps a lot too. If we try to make love after doing it the day before and don't go overboard with the other stuff it doesn't work. Also lots and lots of foreplay. Hands, mouth, whatever! If you have to do that until just before and then get him to go inside you. But yes, men generally like to know they are getting you aroused as well, so be as vocal as you can. That in itself can be a turn on for them. I know I get turned on when I know I am driving him crazy.

I don't know if this would help at all but we bought a we-vibe. It is a vibrator that gets inserted into you while you have sex (it is small and soft and molds to you near your G spot) and it pleasures him and you at the same time (it also stimulates your clit). Not sure if this would help any of your men, but it is cheapest at amazon.com. it helps me as well when I am sore after BDing all week or for when we just aren't in the mood.

I really hope some of this can help at least one couple. Good luck!

 

[Arisa]

Sorry if this is TMI but I'm looking for some advice. My partner suffers from delayed ejaculation which basically means he finds it difficult to ejaculate during sex. Most research says that this is completely psychological but he's had this his whole adult life. It's never been a problem before but now we're TTC it's become an issue. I try very hard not to put the pressure on him as I know this will only make matters worse but the ovulation window is so small..

Is there anyone out there with a similar problem? Any help or advice would be great.
I was so convinced I had symptoms this month but AF showed up so I'm a bit down in the dumps.

hey congrats on your pregnancy I notice the Delayed problem did not stand in the way of successful conception for you :wahoo: I am so pleased for you and to answer your question, My hubby as the exact same thing and we are going through what you were before your got your
its quite inspiring to see that you are expecting now

Basically I use my hands to stimulate him and right before he ejaculates he enters me, but it takes time, patience and encouragement. I never rush him and if per chance we are unable to get anything on one of the TTC vital days I just take a deep breath and accept it as not this time round. We have not had that issue yet but it can take up to half an hour for him to get close then enter me but I have found little ways of stimulating him to make it easier for him to ejaculate and pre seed helped him flow so to speak inside of me immensely, i do not know what or how we were coping without it

to anyone in the same position, rest assured it will happen, it just takes more time and patience AND pre seed has helped us, even though we will not know yet until after the TWW and it could easily not happen this month but still we are on the right track

 

[mum2beagain]

Alright mates...I'm totally lost, confused but finally not alone. My husband and I (i have no idea what all of your acronyms mean and while I would love to look them all up i need to post this before i lose my nerve)

My husband has DE...perfect with is hand, can't quite make it with me (though I can use my hand and at least I can do that...) And we're TTC. Currently we're having a nice chat about different approaches.

has anyone had ANY luck with having sex til you climax then letting him jack off until he's ready to cum and then pushing it in. *blushes deeply* I just...want to try and make this happen. he won't allow the bloody syringe and we can't afford the doctors to get involved. Admittedly we've not been at this for long (about 6 months) but...due to my own medical issues, we literally are running out of time. (castrocondritis causing slipped and sublaxed ribs...they dislocate) We found a solution for now but in the long run, when i'm older my body won't be able to heal from what carrying a child does to the back.

Any advice my lovelies?

The way you describe is exactly how we have concieed every time and in total weve been pregnant 8 times in 3 years (5losses) so its very possible after hes come i always put my legs up the wall so to give spermys a little help from gravity good luck it will happen xxx

 

[ManicSurry]

Alright mates...I'm totally lost, confused but finally not alone. My husband and I (i have no idea what all of your acronyms mean and while I would love to look them all up i need to post this before i lose my nerve)

My husband has DE...perfect with is hand, can't quite make it with me (though I can use my hand and at least I can do that...) And we're TTC. Currently we're having a nice chat about different approaches.

has anyone had ANY luck with having sex til you climax then letting him jack off until he's ready to cum and then pushing it in. *blushes deeply* I just...want to try and make this happen. he won't allow the bloody syringe and we can't afford the doctors to get involved. Admittedly we've not been at this for long (about 6 months) but...due to my own medical issues, we literally are running out of time. (castrocondritis causing slipped and sublaxed ribs...they dislocate) We found a solution for now but in the long run, when i'm older my body won't be able to heal from what carrying a child does to the back.

Any advice my lovelies?

The way you describe is exactly how we have concieed every time and in total weve been pregnant 8 times in 3 years (5losses) so its very possible after hes come i always put my legs up the wall so to give spermys a little help from gravity good luck it will happen xxx

YAY! oh you just made me so overwhelmingly happy, it works!!

Alright we'll keep on keeping on, I see my OBGYN tomorrow to make sure that everything is in order for me to be able to do all I need to. I've got a new hope now, and new mates online for support. I have to admit I was getting really really depressed about all this. BUT THERE IS HOPE

 

[ManicSurry]

Alright mates...I'm totally lost, confused but finally not alone. My husband and I (i have no idea what all of your acronyms mean and while I would love to look them all up i need to post this before i lose my nerve)

My husband has DE...perfect with is hand, can't quite make it with me (though I can use my hand and at least I can do that...) And we're TTC. Currently we're having a nice chat about different approaches.

has anyone had ANY luck with having sex til you climax then letting him jack off until he's ready to cum and then pushing it in. *blushes deeply* I just...want to try and make this happen. he won't allow the bloody syringe and we can't afford the doctors to get involved. Admittedly we've not been at this for long (about 6 months) but...due to my own medical issues, we literally are running out of time. (castrocondritis causing slipped and sublaxed ribs...they dislocate) We found a solution for now but in the long run, when i'm older my body won't be able to heal from what carrying a child does to the back.

Any advice my lovelies?

The way you describe is exactly how we have concieed every time and in total weve been pregnant 8 times in 3 years (5losses) so its very possible after hes come i always put my legs up the wall so to give spermys a little help from gravity good luck it will happen xxx

YAY! oh you just made me so overwhelmingly happy, it works!!

Alright we'll keep on keeping on, I see my OBGYN tomorrow to make sure that everything is in order for me to be able to do all I need to. I've got a new hope now, and new mates online for support. I have to admit I was getting really really depressed about all this. BUT THERE IS HOPE

So while i know this isn't the thread to post this type of thing really but i needed to say it here. The above method works! We got our BFP!!!!!

 

[ellie27]

Big congrats!!!!

We had this problem too but found a very simple successful way of getting round it.

-OH would do it into a non-spermicidal condom or clean cup
-use a plastic syringe to suck it up
-insert into vagina just the same way you put in a tampon
-legs in air to help gravity

We have conceived 3 times this way, all pregnancies conceived within 2 or 3 cycles.

This way really does work and it does take a lot of pressure off performing!!

 

[mum2beagain]

Aww congrats hun xx

 

[bomber1]

Hello
I suffer from delayed ejaculation, and as you would expect, that can cause some problems when trying to impregnate your wife.

Anyway, we decided to try injecting my sperm into my wifes vagina around her ovulation period. We used a needleless syringe, and basically I ejaculated into a sterile cup, filled the needleless syringe with the semen and injected into my wifes vagina.

After two attempts, my wife fell pregnant. She is now 15 weeks and everything is going well.

 

[ellie27]

Hello
I suffer from delayed ejaculation, and as you would expect, that can cause some problems when trying to impregnate your wife.

Anyway, we decided to try injecting my sperm into my wifes vagina around her ovulation period. We used a needleless syringe, and basically I ejaculated into a sterile cup, filled the needleless syringe with the semen and injected into my wifes vagina.

After two attempts, my wife fell pregnant. She is now 15 weeks and everything is going well.

Big congrats - yes, it really does work!!!

Great to hear so many success stories!

 

[838neen]

As so many before have said, it makes me happy just to read about other people having the same problems as us. We are lucky enough to already have a 3.5 year old son - when he was conceived only libido was the problem for my DH who has been taking Prozac/SSRIs for 10 years. We only did the deed twice over 24 hours during the month I conceived - I was 33 then, am now approaching 38...

This has been a problem for over a year now, DH is going through some major psychotherapy for anxiety issues so is not in the mood most of the time, hence we only try at the right time and then the pressure is not helping.

So it's great to hear that people have had success with their methods - we'll give it a try for a few months but not too long in case we need some proper help. DH is able to talk about it but wants to solve it, so need to persuade him to work on solving it during the non-fertile times and then just do what we need to do during the fertile time (which I'll be vague about, even though I will know exactly when the right time is...!).

Good luck to everyone, it's not something I can talk to any friends about as I feel it's so mortifying for DH so good to find online friends to communicate with instead!

 

[codey]

Wow!! I am so glad I found this thread!!! I've been with my husband for 3 years and now and I love him to bits. It'd probably be the perfect relationship ( his love for his xbox aside) if it weren't for one thing and it's the DE thing. I think I can count on one hand the amount of times he's actually managed to finish in the right place for baby making and it's always been the wrong time.

I am actually sitting here in tears reading this, glad that there are other people who understand. Its hard, both on me and on him. I feel bad but I really struggle with it - I feel like its my fault, that if maybe I was thinner/prettier/more attractive then it'd be different. Obviously, I can't share this with OH because he'd be devastated so I'm another silently crying in the bathroom.

I want to be a mother so badly, but I've been free of contraception for a year now and nothing. Not a scare. We've been trying the putting it in afterwards thing but that only works once in a while and I don't like the idea of the syringe (clinical), but I'm starting to think that it might be the only way.

He wont get counselling, or go to his doctor.

 

[Jo.t]

Its good to know there are success stories ! My oh often has problems finishing - he takes ages & then loses his erection - he gets really upset. I used to think I dident turn him on enough but after talking it through I know he does get aroused & it is very frustrating for him too !!

We have been trying for a year now & have had a BFP which ended in a chemical

- not sure if this would be classed as ed or de !?

Its not just me he has had the problem with so that makes me feel a bit better !

 

[Jo.t]

Its good to know there are success stories ! My oh often has problems finishing - he takes ages & then loses his erection - he gets really upset. I used to think I dident turn him on enough but after talking it through I know he does get aroused & it is very frustrating for him too !!

We have been trying for a year now & have had a BFP which ended in a chemical

- not sure if this would be classed as ed or de !?

Its not just me he has had the problem with so that makes me feel a bit better !