Delivery

[second.time]

I'm much less afraid this time than I was the first time. Not knowing what to expect really threw me off. My birth experience was far from ideal, I guess, but I have no real negative memories or feelings connected to the birth and mostly remember the good moments. I don't feel afraid of labor nearly as much this time, maybe because I know I can do it. Maybe not gracefully, or bravely, but I can do it.

Mine was about 30 hours from the first strong contractions to the time I held the baby. I was sent home from the hospital twice for not being dilated enough. I could have roamed the halls, but I didn't want to be exposed while I was in so much pain -- I decided to go home and wait till they'd actually book me in a delivery suite. I went from barely dilated to 6 cm. by eight that evening. I do remember being in so much pain at that point that I wasn't sure I could make it to the car and we considered an ambulance, but I managed. I remember that I needed to pee really badly all the time but peeing was so painful. The pain kind of started low and then squeezed upwards, like a fist. Take period cramps and amplify them by a dozen and add this tight squeezing sensation.

I did get an epidural. That experience was great, to be honest. It was very quick and painless and literally the very next contraction was bearable. My best memories are from this time because I could actually think again and anticipate the arrival of the baby. I remember lying in the delivery suite and feeling excited. I was really tired by this point -- labor began at just past midnight on Saturday and it was now about nine on Saturday night, so I'd had zero sleep since Friday night.

Pushing was uncomfortable because I hadn't pressed the button for the epidural, so I could feel some stretching and stinging. The doctor ended up giving me an episiotomy, which bothered me, because I hadn't been pushing long at all and it felt unnecessary to me.

The good news is that I recovered really well from it. I was terrified that I'd always have problems from the birth injuries I sustained, but they healed really well and I can't even tell anything happened. Yeah, it took a few weeks of frozen witch hazel pads and sitz baths to feel 100%, but I was out and about fairly quickly. Plus what I remember most is just being with this new baby and how crazy and surreal and exciting that phase is. There's nothing like it.

I'm nervous about epidural headaches. I didn't get any at all from my first. The epidural wore off and I was fine -- no lingering side effects. But I am cautious of having that happen this time. I don't know what I'll do yet; maybe try to power through without pain relief? But if I go that route, I'll definitely plan A LOT. The first time, I had some vague idea that I could just deal with it in the moment. Nope -- about 20 hours of labor and I was spent. This time, I'd like to be more prepared, but I actually enjoyed my first birth and have a lot less anxiety this time.

 

[Farmgirlalee]

And one thing ladies- I know it goes against most lovey ideas of the birth but I have to say- I was so exhausted that the first time I held my daughter I didn't have this over whelming rush of love and devotion. I didn't not like her I just didn't have energy for much of anything at that point. I felt so guilty for a long time that I didn't swoon with happiness at first sight. But I learned later from others that it is really common for that first cuddle to be nice but not world shattering. So anyway not trying to bring it down for anyone but if your first moment is one of "phew I'm glad you are out" please don't feel guilty or upset. It is normal and the bond comes very quickly. I loved my daughter long before she was born and our bond has only grown stronger as the years go by. Each birth and woman and baby are so unique. Don't fret if yours is different from someone else.

 

[broodymrs]

And one thing ladies- I know it goes against most lovey ideas of the birth but I have to say- I was so exhausted that the first time I held my daughter I didn't have this over whelming rush of love and devotion. I didn't not like her I just didn't have energy for much of anything at that point. I felt so guilty for a long time that I didn't swoon with happiness at first sight. But I learned later from others that it is really common for that first cuddle to be nice but not world shattering. So anyway not trying to bring it down for anyone but if your first moment is one of "phew I'm glad you are out" please don't feel guilty or upset. It is normal and the bond comes very quickly. I loved my daughter long before she was born and our bond has only grown stronger as the years go by. Each birth and woman and baby are so unique. Don't fret if yours is different from someone else.

Me too. I didn't want to hold Dyl as I was still being stitched back up and was just knackered. Ended up he lay next to me and dh had snuggles. Even the first couple of days I felt a bit detached (I was still on loads of drugs). After that though our bond grew and now we're inseparable. He's such a mummy's boy and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have to stay away occasionally for work and it feels like I've chopped a limb off when I'm not there for bedtime 💕Anyway, I digress! My point was, I agree 😀

 

[annio84]

And one thing ladies- I know it goes against most lovey ideas of the birth but I have to say- I was so exhausted that the first time I held my daughter I didn't have this over whelming rush of love and devotion. I didn't not like her I just didn't have energy for much of anything at that point. I felt so guilty for a long time that I didn't swoon with happiness at first sight. But I learned later from others that it is really common for that first cuddle to be nice but not world shattering. So anyway not trying to bring it down for anyone but if your first moment is one of "phew I'm glad you are out" please don't feel guilty or upset. It is normal and the bond comes very quickly. I loved my daughter long before she was born and our bond has only grown stronger as the years go by. Each birth and woman and baby are so unique. Don't fret if yours is different from someone else.

Such I good point! I remember someone telling me this before I had my DD and thinking ok whatever but it was true. Doesn't mean I don't adore her now though.

As to labour I had 20 hours from first contraction which woke me around 1am to having DD in my arms. I didn't particularly struggle with the contractions but I really think a combination of the birth pool and just the fact that I was really relaxed at the birth centre and well supported by my husband and the midwives that I was able to cope really well.

Unfortunately I found the pushing stage really stressful. I'd had to be bluelighted to the main hospital by this point due to meconium in my waters and they wouldn't let me get up and the midwife just kept shouting at me which was not something I could deal with at the time, Plus I'd wanted to push for ages and they kept telling me not to and then suddenly decided I could push but my contractions had stopped or at least I couldn't feel them. Pushing was a weird thing - DD was wriggling and kicking all the way down which was just the oddest sensation and when she was crowning the pain was awful but that literally lasted a few minutes and then was over. I did have a second degree tear but she was 9lb12 and the midwife shouting at me made me panic so I didn't breathe her out the last bit but kept pushing which the midwife was evidently telling me not to do.

I think the long and short of it is you have no idea what it will be like until it's happening but making sure you have a supportive and well prepared partner and that you are comfortable where ever you choose to give birth. Listen to other people's stories if you want but there is no point focussing on the people who say it's awful or the people who say it's fine because it will be what it is. You can do it though and even though I can't say i've forgotten the pain it doesn't really matter now that I have my daughter. She is more than worth it.

 

[greeneyes27]

I went into labour on Christmas Eve and had my little boy at 4am on Christmas Day. I had a homebirth and had my little boy in my bedroom. I did a hypnobirthing course and didn't have any pain relief at all. I enjoyed the birth of my little boy, it was intense and I had to concentrate but you get lots of rest between contractions and as long as you focus your breathing I would say it's fine. I wouldn't describe labour as painful, just intense.

 

[Sommerfugl]

For me, the pain of childbirth is like no other, it is definitely the most intense/painful pain I have experienced, but definitely not the worst. Contractions come in waves; you feel them building up, then they intensify, peak, and then ease off. They progress and get stronger, but it’s a fairly gradual build up, even with a fast labour (like my 2nd) so you’ve got an idea of what to expect with each one to come.
Personally I find the pain of a migraine (I get severe ones) or really bad toothache to be worse, those pains are constant with no end in sight, no break in between, and no joyful moment at the end.

I don’t get period cramps, just dull back ache usually, so when people described contractions as like strong period cramps I didn’t really know what they meant. In my second pregnancy I had some horrific constipation related stomach cramps, like you’d get with a terrible stomach bug/diarrhoea, and I terrified myself as they felt a lot like early labour with my first.
They’re a super intense cramp that builds up and builds up. With my 2nd pregnancy the contractions at the start of labour didn’t seem so bad, I was able to manage them quite easily by leaning over a chair and breathing deeply and slowly. With my first, my labour was much longer, I was exhausted so the effect of those early contractions (which were intense but looking back seem much milder to when I was closer to the end) were harder to deal with than in my 2nd labour. Towards the end, the intensity picked up and I can clearly remember in my last labour being in agony, like I said, the strongest pain ever, but it peaks and wears off and then you have a few moments to gather yourself again and feel better.
When the baby is crowning, the pain is like a burning. I recognised it instantly with my 2nd birth, it was like I could feel her coming though my cervix; stretching, burning, the intense pressure. Though it wasn’t particularly unpleasant as I knew it meant she would be here soon.
The one thing that no one prepared me for was the feeling that my bum hole was ripping open!
‘Pressure in the anus’ I’d be told about, but not this. I was actually scared that it WAS ripping, it was very odd. But I had no tears and everything was fine.

I had natural water births both times, the water helped me a lot, I don’t think I could do it without.

This doubt sounds horrible but I was actually looking forward to birth two and I am really looking forward to doing it all again. It hurts like hell, the pain is intense, it’s a super strong cramp that takes over your whole body, but there are much worse types of pain in my opinion/experience.
I went into both births without fear, which I think helped. I know it’s easy to be scared but try to relax in knowing that your body knows what to do. Take care of yourself, rest, eat, drink where possible, move around if you can, and try to get in a position that’ll help gravity help you.

 

[Baby4MeRenee]

@Sommerfogl, are you planning on having another water birth this time around?

 

[Emsabub]

;0If I'm honest, birth wasn't that bad. I felt uncomfortable during the early to mid stages of labour and ended up arriving at hospital 8cm dilated. I wasn't feeling the best state in the world but it was manageable. I had gas and air from 9cm because as soon as my waters popped it seemed to get a lot more painful, but still, manageable. I used a birth pool and think that helped a lot

I did tear at a 2nd degree, the stitching was more painful than the birth if I'm honest! But the only reason I tore was because I hit the 'ring of fire' and panicked. When the contraction came back I just went for it and she came out too fast. My best advice is try not to think about it too much. I purposefully spent the whole 9 months not thinking about it but also imagining it to be the worst pain ever. That's probably why I found the exaggeration seen on reality shows & such way over the top!!

Also, congratulations! xxx

 

[Sommerfugl]

@Sommerfogl, are you planning on having another water birth this time around?

Yep They were great, my last one was especially awesome, being at home, I can't imagine it any other way.

Oh and you mentioned you were scared about tearing, I could just be really lucky, but I didn't tear with either

 

[Jilliank2005]

There is a thread in the labour and delivery forum - which has been running since 2009. It is about all the funny/embarrassing things that happen during peoples labours. I have noticed a few people commenting that reading the thread has really helped allay some of the fear over birth.

Maybe some of the fear is about pain, some is about losing control - the important thing to realise, it has happened before - it will happen again and the health professionals have seen it all!

 

[xMissxZoiex]

I really don't think labour is that bad!!!. I took a paracetamol and that was enough to get me to 6cm when I had to have an emergency csection. I think it's key to relax and just let your body do what it's got to do, no point in being tense and fighting the contractions they're going to happen no matter what. I'm pregnant with twins and hoping to have an unmedicated natural VBAC, you can do it.

Csection recovery on the other hand?? Stuff that!! Kill me now!

 

[luz]

I've had 3 babies- 1 natural, 1 with epidural, and 1 where I got the epidural during transition and it didn't even kick in until after I was done pushing. The best way I can describe what contractions feel like is the worst diarrhea poo pains you've ever felt, only the pain wraps around from the front all the way to your back and you just feel like you want to die. I got through them pretty well though by counting and doing deep breathing, knowing they'd only last 30 seconds or so. The other thing is I just got really excited with every contraction and I think that helped. I knew every one brought me closer to meeting my babies.

I'm currently pregnant with #4, and will probably just go natural again.

Also I did have an episiotomy and it was horrid to heal from. My 2nd and 3rd I had 2nd degree tearing but I was feeling much better after about a week.

 

[marmoset]

Glad I found this thread as I've been looking for an opportunity to talk about DS' birth!

I was induced at 38.5 weeks because I had had two bleeds and doctors were worried about a placental abruption.

I first got to hospital on a Tuesday around suppertime because I suddenly started bleeding at home. It had stopped when we got there but DH and I spent the night in L&D anyway where we got to hear the woman in the next room give birth, which was pretty cool. In the morning they recommended that I be induced (actually two OB's talked to each other literally over top of me - one on each side of the bed - about how they were going to induce. I was like, um, hello, maybe you could ask me first??) I declined the induction and was moved to the maternity ward to wait until I had gone 24 hours without bleeding. The next morning (Thursday) another OB came to see me and I asked her to help me understand the relative risks of inducing labor vs. waiting. She told me, and I quote, "oh, inductions don't have any risks" and that third trimester bleeding was associated with unexplained stillbirth, and if I had one, "well, it wouldn't be unexplained since we know you've been bleeding, and I'd never forgive myself, you'd never forgive yourself..."

I was all alone (DH was at work) and so incredibly scared and angry. For me to ask for medical advice and get a lie (inductions have no risks??? The F???) followed by a guilt trip was just so, so, hard. After she left I was sobbing in fear and shaking with rage at the same time.

I declined the induction again because baby scored 10/10 on the ultrasound to check his (or her, we didn't know at the time) wellness, and in my heart I felt it wasn't time yet.

Friday morning I had another talk with a different OB and after thinking it through I decided to go ahead with the induction then. Nothing had changed in our circumstances but I just felt ready at that point. So now the real fun began.

Friday around 8pm I was taken to L&D for my first gel. I had some contractions overnight, uncomfortable enough that I couldn't sleep. I was back in our room in maternity and with every contraction I would lie on my side and pull against the plastic side rail of the bed.

Oh, and I had super strange contractions! I felt them exclusively in the fronts of my hip bones. Nothing in the back or stomach at all!

Saturday morning they were going to do another gel but when they put me on the monitors I was still contracting too much. They ended up doing the second gel Saturday evening. During that day I mostly walked around the maternity ward in a loop, rubbing my belly, talking in my head to baby about how it was OK to come out now. When I had a contraction I would lean against the wall. Saturday night I was back in bed really pulling on the rails and this time moaning through the contrcations. Then sometime in the middle of the night I went to pee and had a gush of blood instead. I paged the nurse station and said 'In bleeding red, I need help'. A nurse rushed over with a wheelchair and wheeled me to an L&D room where they got me on the monitors right away. Baby sounded fine so they just kept me there to keep laboring. Lying down was very painful so I sat in a chair, during a contraction I would lean forward and pull on DH's arms (he was sitting on a stool in front of me) and between contractions I would lean back and try to rest.

At 5am on Sunday morning I consented to a shot of morphine because I was so exhausted I had started saying to DH that maybe I needed an epidural after all (something I was adamant I did not want) just so I could rest. So the morphine shot was a compromise and allowed me to sleep for 3 hours until 8am. I woke up and felt cheerful and refreshed... for a few minutes until I started feeling the contractions again haha. The OB came in and said it was time to break my water and start the pitocin drip. I said I didn't feel I could consent to anything while I still felt drunk on morphine, so they waited until noon when I was ready. Having my water broken was completely painless and they were clear except for the blood I was still bleeding. I also negotiated for them to wait an hour to start the pitocin. The next 3 hours after that were rough. The contractions were ridiculous, I still felt them only in my hip bones. Every one felt like someone was drilling screws into my hips. Not gonna lie, it hurt like a motherf*****. I would get DH to tell me when the numbers started going down on the monitor so I'd know it was halfway over. At some point I moved to kneeling on the bed and started breathing gas and air during the contractions. I never quite got the timing down though and kept being too late. Apparently I was hilarious on it, quoting Road to El Dorado and using unnecessarily big words. I have no memory of this but apparently DH was trying really hard not to laugh. I do remember doing some silly things like trying to put the mask on backward, and one time grabbing DH's hand and shoving it up against my face thinking it was the mask. Oy.

At some point the nurse checked me and I was 9.5cm with a lip so she took the gas&air away and started yelling at me to hold my breath and push. She was being so mean that my DH told her she wasn't helping by talking to me like that. Then this happened:

Nurse to DH: "Have you delivered a baby before?"
DH: "No, but I know my wife and I know what she needs and you're not helping right now."
Nurse: "Fine, you do it then!" *Sits down and opens a book*
Keep in mind I'm pushing, screaming, etc, and she's pretending to read. Not watching the monitors, nothing. Reading a book.
DH (totally calm, even voice): "If you're going to be neglectful, you're going to get sued."

My hero!!

So she storms out of the room and I panic for a moment and start screaming "Somebody help me!!!"

Another nurse comes rushing in and she is an ANGEL. I ask if I can have the gas & air back if I promise to hold my breath and push, and she says sure, of course I can. So I'm kneeling on the bed, with every contraction I take a huge gulp of G&A and then push as long and as hard as I possibly can, and then just a little bit longer. I still feel everything in my hips, nowhere else so I have no idea if this is working or if baby is moving down or what.

At some point the nurse started running a finger gently around my cervix while I pushed, that was SO helpful because I could focus my pushing in the right direction. I would feel a contraction coming on and yell "it's starting, I need your hand!!" but sometimes she would be too late because she had to put on new gloves every time because in between contractions she was moving the monitors around trying to keep baby's heartbeat on them.

Eventually they needed me to turn over because they kept losing him on the monitors. I really stalled on that though and said "just one more on my knees!" a few times. Oh, and at one point somebody said "it looks like you've got a big baby in there so push hard!" which was NOT helpful haha. They also kept telling me to "get angry, just get really angry." and that didn't help either, it turned out what I needed was more like surrender/acceptance. I was scared that my body was going to be ripped open. I just kept telling myself "it's okay, my body will heal" and "the only way out is through" over and over. Also I would count through the pushes in my head "ten, this too shall pass, nine, this too shall pass, eight, this too shall pass, seven..."

Oh that reminds me, earlier in labor I would have DH repeat "you're okay, you're safe, I've got you, I'm here." over and over during contractions.

ANYWAY, finally finally (I had no concept of time at this point, but they told me later I pushed for an hour) I felt a burning/stinging where baby was crowning. It was SUCH a relief to feel something other than my hips getting drilled through, and I was so happy, knowing he was almost out, it was almost over, all the pain and hard work and pushing had actually accomplished something. In my excitement I exclaimed "I feel a burning! I'm going to push into the burning!!" The nurses laughed and were like "great idea honey, you go ahead and do that."

And then he was out! The doctor held him up for me to see, he was all purple and covered in white goop, but I could see that he was a boy, and DH was crying and telling me I did such a good job, I was so strong, I was so brave. It was a beautiful moment.

The end!

ETA: Oh, and he was 8 lbs 12 oz so definitely not small! I had a partial 3rd degree tear but didn't feel it happen, getting stitches was fine as they used a local anaesthetic, and the tear healed with no problems.

 

[superfrizbee]

I've had two very short, intense labours. The first I didn't realise how far I'd progressed as it was so short. I tried a bath to ease the pain but it didn't help. Took paracetamol and threw it straight back up. Even though my contractions were 3 mins apart I still didn't think I could be ready. Called the delivery suite and decided to go in. The car journey was the worst. I think it was the position I was in sat down. I was trying to arch my back to straighten up during contractions. When I was examined they told me I was fully dilated. I was so shocked! The pain was incredible but I'd had no pain relief to that point. I had been stopping myself from pushing (assuming I wasn't ready) but really pushed hard after that. I think that's what gave me my 2nd degree tear, not pushing in a controlled way or listening to my body. I just wanted it over with! My daughter was born probably 10-15 mins later but I'm sure she could have been born in my kitchen had I pushed when I felt I needed to. I had a bit of gas and air. It didn't feel like it did much, but I was practically giving birth. I had it during my stitches too and it was horrible. Made me feel all drunk and woosy. Recovery was pretty horrible. I had a lot of swelling and it hurt and pulled my stitches when I lay down. I couldn't get comfortable and one time stood up and wet myself my pelvic floor was that messed up. It did improve fairly quickly though.

For my second I had a planned home delivery. It was quick again but seemed longer as I laboured during the day. However I felt more in control of pushing this time and knew better when to stop. He was born 10 minutes after the midwife arrived, still in his waters. I had gas and air when the midwife did arrive but I mainly bit the mouth piece I think! I used a tens machine during both labours which I liked. I don't know if it helped with the pain, but it had a boost button that I could smash during contractions and that helped in that I felt more in control of what was happening. I had no tear at all that time. Recovery was soooo much better. I had a shower at home, ordered pizza when the midwives had gone and slept in my own bed. Bliss!

I should say both kids were overdue. +8 and +7. Labour was brought on after a sweep both times. My daughter was born less than 24 hours after my sweep, my son less than 9 hours after!