Depressed - help!

[golcarlilly]

I don't know where else to post this so hope it's ok to put it in here, I am so fed up all the time, I know I should be counting my blessings but I just feel so sad, I could cry at any given moment and I am so sick of it, I feel lonely and like I can't cope with anything, I saw my doctor a few months ago and he just fobbed me off and basically said (not in so many words) to go home and make an effort to get out and about and I would be fine, I do get out and I have a few friends with young children but I just can't shake this feeling, I don't have a lot of help with my son (my Mum has made it clear she doesn't want to help and my MIL lives an hour away and has him one morning a week, my sister works full time but isn't interested when she is free) and I think this is making me feel worse as I have him 24/7 (DH works full time and is studying for a degree) does anyone have any advice please?

Sorry for the waffle!

 

[mumtobrandon]

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way, it is unfortunately one of the few illnesses that people don't always understand, because as you say, things in general are ok, and we have beautiful healthy children but we still feel overwhelmed with sadness and negative thoughts. I have suffered with depression on and off for over two years and it doesn't seem to go no matter what advice i am given, it's a chemical thing so it's hard to control.
Unlike you, I have lot's of people that want to be involved but i shut them out as I prefer to be alone. I feel like my husband is the only one who understands.
Do you have a support worker from a mental health team and medication??? I went to my gp and he sorted all this out for me, not sure what is available in your area but here we have a good support network. It helped me through my pregnancy and am hoping it will help now I have my new baby.
Don't listen to those who say 'snap out of it and just get on' if i had a pound for every time I hear those friggin words.....................
Best wishes x x x

 

[golcarlilly]

I don't have any medication or a support worker, my doctor didn't seem to think I had a problem although all he did was ask me a couple of questions he didn't do an assessment or anything which someone else has told me he should have done! I think I am going to try and get an appt with one of the other doctors at my practice cos I just can't go on like this! Thank you for your advice, I hope you are keeping well

 

[Chris77]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way hun. I know depression all too well and if you ever need to talk/vent/whatever, I'm always here for you.

That said, what an ass that doctor was! I would try to find another doctor, social worker, etc., who you can speak with. You may need an anti-depressant to help get you over this rough patch.

 

[golcarlilly]

thanks Chris, I know I should be really happy and I am in the main, I just can't shake off this feeling that something is wrong all the time i have so much to be thankful for in life I feel like I am such a phoney feeling like this!

 

[topsy]

Hi Hun,

Sorry your feeling like this,having depression is so tough, let alone when some stupid Dr wont listen to you. I can only echo what the others have said. I would definitely try and go and see another GP at your Dr`s.

Take care of yourself.

xxx

 

[porkypig]

hi hun, i feel like this sometimes and sometimes i feel like ive had pnd that wasnt really dealt with, i should have perhaps taken something. I work two days a week, and maybe be adding another day soon.
There is help with me in terms of someone looking after lo but its restricted as dh works full time and does lots of overtime, my mum works practically full time, my mil works part time but dont think shes up to having lo more than a day shes made quite clear as he is a bit of a handful and i hate asking for help as i dont want to 'burden' them so i just carry on and suffer; as a result, like you, im exhausted and stressful and quite ratty most of the time, every little thing really gets on my nerves. ive got no real advice only maybe to go back to your doc and explain that you still dont feel right and maybe you need something. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[golcarlilly]

Hi porky, yeah I have wondered if PND was an issue for me, I had such rubbish post pregnancy care, only saw the hv and mw a couple of times

 

[KateNicola]

Depression is not something you just 'get over', boo on your doctor. Depression is not a minor issue and should never be treated as such. *takes a deep breath*
I would seek a second opinion since your doctor would rather dismiss it. Taking some time for yourself, maybe when the wee ones are napping, to do something that you love to do and makes you feel good. Some also find that working out, something you can do with the kids, can help bring you out of a slump, at least temporarily.
A big thing is to not beat yourself up for feeling depressed. It is not something you can control. It is NOT your fault!
I hope things start looking up for you hun

 

[Chris77]

How are you doing now hun?

And depression is not something to just get over it's a chemical imbalance in the brain and you are NOT phoney!

 

[golcarlilly]

Thanks Chris, I am doing ok kind of, struggling this week with Myles being ill and not having seen anyone or gone anywhere all week, had a tearful day yesterday but Andy is home now so am trying to be positive Hope you are ok too and having a good weekend x

 

[Chris77]

Aww hun I so wish I lived in England. I'd come over and visit you. Hang in there hun and remember I'm here if you ever need anything.

 

[KateNicola]

I am sorry to hear you have been having a bad week Does your DH know how you feel? Trying to be happy when you are not when he is home may not be the best thing. You are lying to both yourself and him. Tell him how you feel and he will (hopefully) be supportive. I hope the next week proves sunnier for you

 

[golcarlilly]

I am sorry to hear you have been having a bad week Does your DH know how you feel? Trying to be happy when you are not when he is home may not be the best thing. You are lying to both yourself and him. Tell him how you feel and he will (hopefully) be supportive. I hope the next week proves sunnier for you

Thanks, yes my DH does know how I am feeling, I meant it is easier to cope when he is home, not that I am trying to be happy for his sake I feel really lonely when it is just me and Myles at home, I am craving adult company atm I think!

 

[Rachie Rach]

Hi by the sounds of it hun you are suffering with depression xxx you need to go back to the doctors and make them listen to you xxx i am bipolar and totally understand the depression you are suffering i totally hate it!!! unfortunalty with the mental health in yorkshire are soooooooo useless so you have to stamp your feet scream and shout at em....its the only way they listen...when i was ill with the depression part of my illness before i was officially dx with bipolar i had self harmed and generally endangered my life and it took 5 visits to gps before the one who i hadn't seen before referred me to the community mental health team....in the mean time he put me on anti depressants ( citalopram then prozac) and that sent me bonkers....i was totally manic...(i cannot have anti d's anymore) the lady from the mental health team saw me and said i was depressed...and put me back on the anti d's so i was totally manic and outta control for 6 months!!!! my hubby eventually dragged me back to gps and said some thing wasn't right thats when he re-referred me back to cmht and i saw a shrink who on the spot dx me with bp...took me straight off anti d's and put me on olanzapine (anti phycotic) to stop everything....

So stick with it hun...if you need anyone to chat too i am here to listen and give advice if i can xxx