Depressed(long post)

[Angel022605]

Just a lot of emotions. I'm don't know how to explain. Any time I see a baby anything I just wanna breakdown and cry until I can't cry no more. DH has low sperm count and motility. We are seeing a fertility specialist and the Dr has him on Clomid hoping to improve his overall count. Getting him to BE during the fertile period is an emotional rollercoaster in itself because he's so depressed knowing that he's the reason we're not preg. He'll gladly do any other form of sex but too depressed to BD and blames himself for us not getting preg. I try my best to encourage him in every way I can. I try being sexy and flirtatious and it draws him to sex but pushes him away from "finishing" where he needs to "finish". He feels less pressured to BD outside of my fertile time. He knows my body well enough like I do and can tell me when I'm fertile based on what CD I'm on. I'm sorry for rambling on a long post but I don't know who else to talk to. Please don't read and run. If you don't know what to say just comment with the word "hi" or "hello" and that lets me know someone here is listening with an open ear. God bless you girls.

 

[ladyoflocksle]

Hi Angel,

I am so sorry that you are depressed over this. I totally get it. I am older and so is my DH and we are struggling with infertility. He is the same as your as DH, he has low sperm count and motility and also knows my cycle just as well as I do. It is frustrating when he won't BD with me during my fertile time as well.

We were able to get pg in Jan 2014 but I mc in Feb at 6 weeks. It is so hard to see other ladies around me having babies and I am still without one. I really struggle with the thought that it won't ever happen for me.

I will be praying for you and your DH that you are able to get pg and hold a sweet little baby in your arms. I have known a few people whose DH's used Clomid and they were able to have a baby. I pray that is the case for you!

I know this probably doesn't help a whole lot. But I didn't want to just read and run. I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this

 

[Star7]

Praying for you. 💖

 

[vickyandchick]

I'm so sorry, that sounds really tough for both of you.
Hopefully the clomid combined with seeing the fertility doctor will help

 

[xarlenex]

I hope with help of the specialist yous will be holding a precious bundle soon xx

 

[kwalton172]

Praying for you ❤

 

[Angel022605]

Hi Angel,

I am so sorry that you are depressed over this. I totally get it. I am older and so is my DH and we are struggling with infertility. He is the same as your as DH, he has low sperm count and motility and also knows my cycle just as well as I do. It is frustrating when he won't BD with me during my fertile time as well.

We were able to get pg in Jan 2014 but I mc in Feb at 6 weeks. It is so hard to see other ladies around me having babies and I am still without one. I really struggle with the thought that it won't ever happen for me.

I will be praying for you and your DH that you are able to get pg and hold a sweet little baby in your arms. I have known a few people whose DH's used Clomid and they were able to have a baby. I pray that is the case for you!

I know this probably doesn't help a whole lot. But I didn't want to just read and run. I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in this

Thank you so much for responding. That truly means a lot. I too am praying in tears. Thanks again for responding.

 

[Babybum35]

Angel that's hard. It's something a lot of men struggle with just like a woman would if diagnosed with pcos. There are times my husband avoids good days to bd just because he hates the idea of timing sex and he's figured out that if I'm initiating it's on. I think it's good he's willing to get help but does he think you resent or blame him? It has to be so frustrating to see him sad he can't give you what you want. I'm sorry you are going through this

 

[Angel022605]

Thank you ladies for your responses. It really means a lot. It's really good to hear that you are praying for me. I love the encouraging words. Support is much needed. DH and I pray that we don't have to do IVF. As a single person income, car payment, and other amounting bills, we're afraid to say there's no way on Earth afford it. So please girls keep coming with encouraging words and prayers. I'm in tears all the time and can't focus on working or life. Feel like my head is in a fog or a bad dream. DH is so depressed too. I try my best to keep encouraging him but sometimes I'm the one who needs the encouraging. Having a baby is all I think about to the point it consumes my life. I'm sorry for this sad comment but I'm hanging on by a thread and at the end of the road. Sigh. :/

 

[Angel022605]

Angel that's hard. It's something a lot of men struggle with just like a woman would if diagnosed with pcos. There are times my husband avoids good days to bd just because he hates the idea of timing sex and he's figured out that if I'm initiating it's on. I think it's good he's willing to get help but does he think you resent or blame him? It has to be so frustrating to see him sad he can't give you what you want. I'm sorry you are going through this

No I don't think that he thinks I resent or blame him. I've told home before I don't blame him, I don't resent him, never ever will I resent or blame him. He knows this. Thanks for responding.

 

[Angel022605]

Thank you so much for responding. Please continue to keep sending me encouraging words and prayers.

 

[Dill]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are both struggling!

Is it possible to avoid having him know what CD you are on? Or perhaps setting a schedule (1x every other day, or every 3 days, etc.) that is consistent all month long so that it becomes more of a routine and less pressure on him to BD during your fertile period?

 

[JWC13]

I'm so sorry Angel. Since he feels pressure to finish during the fertile window, have you considered possibly having him 'service' himself and then you do self insemination? I wonder if that might take some of the pressure off?

 

[Angel022605]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are both struggling!

Is it possible to avoid having him know what CD you are on? Or perhaps setting a schedule (1x every other day, or every 3 days, etc.) that is consistent all month long so that it becomes more of a routine and less pressure on him to BD during your fertile period?

Well it's hard not for him to know because he now knows my cycles forwards and backwards like I do. He is not fond of a schedule because he feels like he is in "timing" mode and would much rather be spontaneous. The only reason I tell him when I'm on CD 1 is so he knows not to BD during that time as it is a big turn off unless he wants oral. I'm sorry
Thank you so very much for responding

 

[Angel022605]

I'm so sorry Angel. Since he feels pressure to finish during the fertile window, have you considered possibly having him 'service' himself and then you do self insemination? I wonder if that might take some of the pressure off?

I think the only way to take the pressure off is of his SA came back a lot higher than what it did come back. He says he feels pressured because he knows it's his low count and feels its his fault for us not getting preg. I have never and will never blame him or be mad at him for that. I tell him that all the time. I can mention doing self insemination but I'm also afraid he'll think I'm just after his sperm for baby making purposes only when in reality I could use some form of sex because I've had a bad day at work and need to relax and some form of sex helps me do that. Sigh :/
Thank you for responding. I'm sorry if I'm so neg. Just how I feel.
Thank you again

 

[Dill]

At this point, it sounds like he would benefit from some counseling so that he can work through these feelings of inadequacy.

 

[ladyoflocksle]

I don't really have anything else to add. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and your DH I totally understand all of the emotions you are feeling because I am there, too It has been 6 years since my DH and I first started ttc and it is sooo depressing and frustrating to not have that little baby that I long for!

 

[Angel022605]

Thanks everyone for their kind words, encouragement, thoughts and prayers. Please continue to reply. These comments are really making my day. Much appreciation to all who have responded. Even if you don't know what to say still a simple "hi" will do. Saying something simple like "you're in my thoughts/prayers" is always encouraging and uplifting. If you have to read and run I understand. Again thanks everyone. I don't know how to repay all the kind words. I would love to hear more if I can. Love y'all.

 

[Angel022605]

I don't really have anything else to add. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and your DH I totally understand all of the emotions you are feeling because I am there, too It has been 6 years since my DH and I first started ttc and it is sooo depressing and frustrating to not have that little baby that I long for!

Thanks for replying. Much love and encouragement to you and DH.

 

[sevenofnine]