Depression, Advice

[mommyhopeful2]

It has come to my attention that DH has become very depressed at our lack of results in the past year. Honestly I have as well, but I am trying to work through it and just remind myself that it will happen when it is meant to. I approached him a few days ago but he says he just "isn't in the mood" because he's so down about us still not being pregnant.

I dont know what to do. Even the last couple of months, the only time hes willing to DTD is if I have a positive opk. It's like it's becoming a chore for him and the only reason to DTD is to produce children. Although that would be a bonus for me as well, I miss the closeness and the connection.

I have tried discussing it with him, but it seems like a moot point, he will cuddle with me. He'll promise, saying things "we'll wake up early" or "once ds is asleep", and he wont stick to it.

I have tried talking to him, tried buying some new lingerie to try to entice him, even bought some toys and special lubes to try to spice things up and interest him and nothing is working. He has become consumed by the fact that we havnt conceived.

How do I remind him that DTD isn't just about making a baby, but also about us as a couple? Any advice is appreciated.

 

[kittykat7210]

I'm sorry that you are having troubles, this happened to me and my OH after our last miscarriage.

We have been trying for longer than I care to admit, and after our last miscarriage we hit rock bottom. We decided that in order to save our relationship, we would stop trying. Its been 8 months of condoms and establishing our relationship again. But this month we have decided to start trying again, and are hoping our renewed passions will mean a quick positive and a healthy baby.

I know this is possibly the last thing you wanted to hear, but it worked for us.

I hope you find a solution quickly and get your positive soon

 

[ms sunshine]

My hubby has depression and the best thing is that he doesnt know when i am oing as the pressure is gigantic and doesnt help with the pressure. I would say somrthing like you read the pressure doesnt help conceiving so youre notnreally using opks any more and you want to go natural. I would still use opks but just dont mention when you are oing. This way the pressure is taken off him which wont help his depression and gradually thigs sgould go back to normal. Worked for us