Depression and first trimester

[tcp]

I went off my Zoloft when we started TTC back in September. I am starting to reconsider that decision, as I am absolutely miserable. Every day is just a burden to get through, I can't stand being around DH even though he's being totally supportive and generally awesome, and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. The constant nausea doesn't help, nor does this dark and dreary time of year.

All that being said, I'm petrified of having a baby with some sort of special need that may have been caused by antidepressants.

Is anyone else going through this? I can't even feel excitement about this baby that I wanted so badly. If I stick through it without taking meds, will it get better? Is depression like morning sickness, in that it gets better after the first tri? I'm desperate to find someone else that can relate to this situation.

 

[Scout]

Mine did get better. Before becoming pregnant with daughter, I was on an anti depressant, anti anxiety and an anti psychotic for sleep. I had to come off all that and it was hard, especially at first. My first trimester was thru winter too and that does make depression worse. I remember standing in the shower and crying most days. I never bonded with the baby while pregnant and I really worried about that.

I was around 17/18 weeks when the constant nausea finally went away and I felt somewhat normal again. That also helped with the depression, and, although I still cried at times, it wasn't nearly as much as in the early days.

My OB had told me that if the depression got too bad, I could stay on the anti depressant, but all anti depressants are Class C drugs so I was too scared to do that too. I'd say if my depression had been unmanageable, I would have reconsidered though. I was seeing a therapist weekly and that helped me as well. By 3rd tri, my depression seemed gone although I worried that I still hadn't bonded with baby. It wasn't until after she was born that the bond began and grew stronger and stronger as time went on. I went back on my anti depressant after the baby just in case I went thru post partum depression, but I never did.

Don't know if this helps or not. It's hard to deal with depression and with morning sickness. If you're not seeing a therapist, I'd recommend looking in to that. It's so helpful to have someone there each week just to talk to. And if you feel like you just can't make it, then see your doctor and discuss getting back on the medication. Your health and well being is important to the baby too. I'm sorry you're going thru this.

 

[tcp]

Thanks, Scout - I think I do need to see a therapist more regularly. Mine is hard to get into and she just tells me to remind myself that I'm doing this for my baby. But as you know, those rational thoughts can be hard to get through a dense fog of depression. I'm glad to hear that for you it got better and maybe there's hope for me - but I probably do need more regular therapy and need to find a new therapist.

 

[ButterCup17]

I wrote a similar post a few days ago, I'm going through the exact same thing. I called my Dr office Friday and started crying in my voicemail I left! When the nurse called back I cried again. I'm a sahm and losing patience with my song, yelling at him, then crying bc I feel guilty for doing it. The nurse said the Dr wouldn't be available to call me back until monday so I haven't talked to her yet. However, spending the weekend thinking about whether or not I want to take me a or not and trying my hardest to take breaks when I'm stressed has helped and I think I'm going to stay off of them. Last pregnancy I didn't take them and I was fine, this time is so different. I'm hoping things settle a bit more after the first trimester ends...

 

[tcp]

Hi Buttercup - I'm sure it's all that more challenging when you're a SAHM. I know it helps when I can hide away from my DH a little, and he's good at giving me space, but I'm sure a LO isn't good for that. I'm going to try and stay off the meds too, for at least as long as I can. I'm also doing acupuncture and have an appointment this week, maybe she'll be able to provide some help. It's just so good to know I'm not alone!

 

[ButterCup17]

Fingers crossed for us both, and hoping the first trimester flies by and brings us some relief!!