DH can't come very often... anyone have this problem? :-(

[MillieJoan]

Does anyone else's partner have trouble coming often enough around ovulation?

My DH is 29 (I'm 28, almost 29), and when we were dating in college he could come more than once per day, every day if we wanted to! Now that we have a LO, we usually have sex once a week if we're lucky , except around ovulation, when we try to do it every other day, at least. I use OPKs to figure out when I'm having my surge, but we sometimes start a day or two before I get a positive test based on my fertile CM. The first day we dtd, he never has any trouble coming and there's always tons of semen (sorry if tmi!). If we dtd the next day as well, he can usually come without trouble, but I always notice less leakage aftetward, iykwim. And forget trying to come a third day in a row - he never can, and it just results in him feeling bad and me being frustrated but trying not to show it.

Even when we try just every other day, though, he often can't the third time

He drinks very little caffeine and alcohol, so that's not the problem. Is this just normal for guys his age? I always assumed this wouldn't happen until middle age at least, but maybe I'm wrong?

 

[superfrizbee]

My DH does the same. he can manage three days, but four is a no no. Even at 3 days I can tell he's pretty spent. when ttc DD I definitely put too much pressure on him and it was more about dtd than enjoying it if you know what I mean. it definitely affected him and killed the mood! The first month I relaxed about it was actully the month we conceived, which is probably just chance, but still - it was the cycle we hit the "best" days of my cycle by starting later and having a breather. If I were you I'd just dtd around your two most fertile days and leave the rest to fall whenever feels natural! I understand wanting to maximise every opportunity, but it's stressful.for guys too. Two times during your fertile window is enough when the stars are aligned I also use preseed to help the little swimmers on. good luck

 

[superfrizbee]

Oh and dh was only just 30 when we conceived DD...

 

[staycb01]

Oh I can totally relate on this!!! My hubby can usually DTD 2-3 times... MAYBE 4 times and then he's completely done. I think out of the year we've been trying he's only gone 4 times maybe 2-3 months, so not very often. He's also had months like this one, where we totally missed my window. Due to CM and CP I thought I ovulated already, but didn't get a positive OPK till CD 20 and by then my hubby was DONE! So, it sucked to know that the last time we DTD this month was a week before I ovulated It's so hard not to get upset about it too. Most months are ok for me but this month I had a melt down and that doesnt help the hubby either What works for us (most months) is to let him know ahead of time when my fertile period is... like I usually say "oh next week we can start trying" and then we try every other day around the time I think my OPK might go positive. I know its different for everyone, but my hubby seems to appreciate a heads up so that he can prepare himself.
Also, I use preseed too and love it! It gives the "perfect" enviornment for his swimmers to last a bit longer