DH has no get up and go!!

[Lownthwaite]

Sorry for the mini rant here - but DH seriously has no enthusiasm at all about baby!

I am now 28 weeks - i have bought bits of clothes, a moses basket, some nappies etc and i know there is so much more we need to get before she arrives. Hubby just doesnt seem interested! I and 2 of my friends have painted the backcoat in the nursery and i have picked a colour but it still needs the colour putting on and a carpet down. He doesn't seem to care that the baby will be here in 12 weeks - maybe less! - and there is nothing ready!

He says he doesnt want the nursery ready to soon incase something goes wrong and its all done and there is no baby to put in it!?!?!

Im sure since baby is now viable there is a VERY low chance of us loosing her! I think he just cant be bothered!! That and i was hoping to spread the cost of everything (clothes / nappies etc) over the next few months whilst i still have full pay - but at this rate i can see us getting to having her at 2 months old and having to beg and borrow money for things we could have bought in advance!!!

Anyone else in this situation? I know he wants the baby cause it was his idea to TTC and he is affectionate towards bump etc but its like he's just lazy and can't be bothered preparing!! Im just getting really scared incase she comes early and we have nothing ready!

 

[Sazzoire]

I know what you mean about running out of time.... we haven't started our nursery yet and still have loads of things to buy.... my hubby has been poorly though with a prolapsed disc in his back, so my situation a little different.

Can you tell him how you feel, especially with being viable now. Sam9kids had her baby at 30 weeks and baby Jenson is doing fab.... maybe show him some of the success stories on here and say 'time to get sorted' just in case? It is a scary time for everyone and we get lots of support on here, he just needs a gentle push?

Good luck sweetie

xx

 

[Lownthwaite]

I know what you mean about running out of time.... we haven't started our nursery yet and still have loads of things to buy.... my hubby has been poorly though with a prolapsed disc in his back, so my situation a little different.

Can you tell him how you feel, especially with being viable now. Sam9kids had her baby at 30 weeks and baby Jenson is doing fab.... maybe show him some of the success stories on here and say 'time to get sorted' just in case? It is a scary time for everyone and we get lots of support on here, he just needs a gentle push?

Good luck sweetie

xx

Ive tried that - i told him about sam - and one of the men i work with - his daughter went into labour at 32 weeks last week and had a healthy baby boy and was home the next day (he was born on the driveway!) but he still doesnt seem to care! He's just so lazy and when i tell him we need to get it done he just says theres loads of time yet!

He'd rather play a stupid computer game than get the nursery ready!! He's driving me mad! I might be over reacting but he hasn't bought or prepared anything for her yet and i feed like im doing this all on my own!!

 

[Bee26]

Hun I just posted reply to another girlie who is struggling with her other half and I think its fitting for you too. My OH was being an arse waaaay back along at the start, just not prioritising and someone on here said to me:

"Women become mothers the day they find out they are pregnant, men become fathers the day they hold their baby in their arms"

I think its so true xxxx

 

[Lownthwaite]

Hun I just posted reply to another girlie who is struggling with her other half and I think its fitting for you too. My OH was being an arse waaaay back along at the start, just not prioritising and someone on here said to me:

"Women become mothers the day they find out they are pregnant, men become fathers the day they hold their baby in their arms"

I think its so true xxxx

Probably true - i hope you are right! I just hope everything is ready in time for her.

 

[louise85]

I'm the other one having probs!!

We also have nothing ready. Have a few clothes, a steriliser, a couple blankets and thats it! If he came now I have no idea what would happen!

But of course I'm being silly and over reacting and thats not gonna happen

I don't know what to tell you, because I'm exactly the same no matter what I say it makes no diference or gets ignored

xxx

 

[kermie219]

I found that when I just went ahead and started doing it he got excited and that's when he changed completely! He was very very nervous about our little girl until about 28ish weeks because we lost our first baby but when I went in there and painted one day (he came home to a yellow room lol) he really got on board. I bought all the little stuff on my own and when it was time to buy the big nursery furniture I would pick out a few acceptable ones then let him choose from those which was much much eaier then giving a bloke a huge book and saying which one is best? they get a little overwhelmed with baby stuff as it's probably not something they have thought much about. So my advice? just go ahead and start buying the little things....some clothes...nappy's.....grooming kits...Paint even, just get started little by little good luck

 

[Beckels]

My husband was a bit like that, saying that he didn't want to buy anything yet, just incase. I decided that I wasn't waiting around for him to decide when the time was right to start buying. I have now got almost everything we need and have just stored most of it at my parents house as dh is really superstitious about having it in the house yet, oh and a few sneaky bits in a suitcase here so he can't see them!! He seems fine with it now though, I think he just couldn't be bothered having to go shopping for it all as he hates shopping!

I didn't want to wait around and miss out on things that I wanted that were on offer as it didn't make sense to me to pay full price if I didn't have to.

Hope you get it sorted soon.x.

 

[quail]

my dh is never interested in any of my pregnancys but he is the first one there holding baby when its there,lol and he is a great dad,i think they just dont bond so well until they finally meet baby,its never really bothered me as i like to get everything ready myself, and i get to go on my own to shops and spend what i want without him moaning,lol.xxx

 

[Cactusgirl]

My DH is the same the only thing he has been interested in getting was the pushchair and the nursery furniture - everything else he just glazes over at.

In the end I made a deal with him as it was doing my head in talking to a brick wall. I agreed that I would get all the rest of the stuff needed
and arrange a decorator for the nursery if he cleared the front room out and sold the table and chairs we have been meaning to get rid of by the weekend after Easter.

That way I get out of doing something I really was not looking forward to doing and he gets me off his back about what breast pump etc I should get!!!

 

[ladyandbump]

You have my sympathies, I agree though that men perhaps don't bond so well and feel that it's real till baby arrives - I know DH is going to be a great dad, but sometimes being pregnant feels like a lonely place! I've bought everything so far, and he's not really shown much interest, the things I have asked him to sort out he hasn't yet and am now 32 weeks, and I don't think my bump does much for him so I miss the way he used to look at me and he's been less affectionate too - driving me nuts and no doubt it'll come to a head at some point when I have a meltdown lol!

A bit more enthusiasm, a bit more pampering for me and a bit of attention wouldn't go amiss!!

Men!!! lol

x

 

[daisyfflur]

Mine is the same. I've bought everything with little or no input from him (except the pram). They are visual creatures I suppose and can't imagine that we get panicked about not being prepared. Finally got some progress made this weekend. I organised for a bed frame and sofa to be picked up for charity and ordered the new sofa bed for the study as the spare room will be the nursery. He carried up and put together the changing table and cot and I "dressed" the room. I have absolutely no doubt he will be a great dad, he's just not as rushed as I am to have everything done.

 

[sandrass]

We are just getting started really -_-. Good thing is, we have most of the clothes we will need until she is at least 3 or 4 months...and we have crib, change table etc. Basically everything we REALLY need...

Yesterday we finally washed most of the baby clothes. Still dont have room set up at ALL!!!!! She is sharing our room for the 1st year as we have a roommate right now to help while on maternity leave. After that she will have her own room...

Just so much to do now and so little time!

 

[squidge87]

Been having similar problem with mine too, we've got pretty much everything we need just nowhere to put it. Can just about open the spare room door cause of all the crap thats in there. He finally started doing a little bit last week, but a really mean a little bit. I wanna do it myself and would but the majority of the stuff is his and I wouldnt know what he wanted to do with it or where he wanted to put it so told him he'll have to clear it. But ive said i will do the basecoats on walls when clear, then it'll still need colour and carpet! Got about 8 weeks left he doesnt seem to understand that she could arrive early! Good luck hun hope you get somewhere with your bloke xx

 

[BabyJayne]

My DH is fabulous...I really can't complain...but he is so much more laid back about getting everything ready than I am. I think it is more the difference between men and women. We want everything ready and perfect weeks in advance, whereas they just see the timescale and think "oh well, we have ages". My DH said to me as long as baby has somewhere to sleep, something to eat and things to keep it warm, then that's all that matters in the first few weeks, and it's true.

I keep panicking that we have not bought enough sleepsuits or vests, or that we need more bibs etc. - I am not getting much before baby is born as we are on team yellow and I dont want a wardrobe full of beige! But DH is just like...we can go out and get more when Pip is here, it's no big deal! And it's true if I really think about it - but it is just the difference between mummys and daddys I think

We have been sorting the nursery out over the past week, and it is such a lovely time, so it would be a shame if it was ruined for you. Maybe if you start it, and make out that you are really struggling, he will get involved. They seem to need more motivation than us to get going. x

 

[LoobyBump]

Mine is the opposite OCD-ville

We now have a list of each day in the next month...with things such as: Paint ceiling, sand wood, undercoat woodwork, etc next to particular days! We do have 2 rooms to do as we're moving our girls around to fit in the new LO, but crikey...i'm gonna be shattered!

Its like a military operation! I sometimes wish i had the problems some of you girls have

 

[nikkibr]

yep im the same and im nearly 38 weeks pregnant!! i have bought EVERYTHING, my OH doesnt have any money but still - he always has money for cans on a friday night but has not really shown much enthusiasm about anything really, i have chosen everything - i think it is just a man thing tho! he always tells me that i should know what he's like, he doesnt get excited until things actually happen which is true, so im just letting him sit back and me enjoy choosing everything and doing everything for now and then when our little princess comes im sure he'll change completly xx