DH is disappointed!

[Reno]

We had a gender scan and are team blue for the second time! We both said we would be happy with either gender, but when someone asks what we think it is he doesn't come out and say it's another boy, he says something like 'we're happy as long as it's healthy...'

He was thrilled with DS1 being a boy as he has a long family line and is the only son, so pressure is off so to speak, and he is a SAHD and a fantastic father!

I am not disappointed it's a boy, but I'm disappointed that DH still has his fingers crossed it's a girl! He says things like, 'they could have got it wrong' and 'it was very early for gender' and his family keep questioning it too and they call our unborn son 'an heir to spare' which makes me sick to my stomach.

I asked him this morning if he wanted another gender scan at another place in a few weeks and he said yes. With DS1 we had a very clear potty shot and this time we didn't even get to see a potty shot on screen. I have no doubt it's another boy, the sonographer just said 'it's a boy' on two occassions and she wouldn't have said that if she wasn't sure, or she would have said 'i think it's a boy'.

Anyone else experienced this? It's making me sad as I am so thrilled to have another little moneky! DS1 has been an absolute joy to raise so far and I'm excited about doing it all again!

 

[Misscalais]

Aww my hubby wanted a girl with both our boys lol
He wasn't openly disappointed though. He has 4 brothers and no sisters and often said he would have liked to have a sister.
Once bub arrives I'm sure he will just love him to bits. I think some men just want that 'daddy's little girl' thing with a daughter. And I know that's what my hubby wants.
Don't let his disappointment rub off on you

 

[AirForceWife7]

Hey Rebekah .. it's Kelsey :wave: (Wasn't expecting to find you! Hahaha)

I'd say what is going on with your OH is fairly normal.

In most cases a lot of people, after multiple tries for a certain gender get really discouraged and sort of sad, as they imagine what it would be like if they had the one they desire.

Also, if a dad-to-be suffers from gender disappointment it can also be because he feels it is entirely his fault, as the male decides the sex of the baby.

I, myself, had GD with my pregnancy with Brenna. I wanted so badly to have a boy, as I am quite the tomboy myself and thought I could relate more or be a more optimal parent if I had a boy. Turns out I was pregnant with a little girl, who you know is my little bubbly Brenna.

I was shattered, I can totally admit. But, with the help of Jon and lots of heart to heart talks, I came around much quicker! It took me about a month or so to really wrap my head around it, but I came to the conclusion that I should just be happy with a healthy baby. Fact is is that you can't change what you've been given, so you may as well accept it

With every bone in my body I have no doubts that he will come around. It may take time, but just know there are many people who go through this! Just try and be supportive as you can (which I know you will) and you guys will get through it

 

[Reno]

thanks ladies!

very true Kelsey, Im sure he'll be thrilled once LO arrives! he had a wee chat to my tummy tonight and called him by name, so he's coming round to the idea! I think tbh hes been under a lot of pressure from his family who have all been openly wishing for a girl! I hate the 'maybe next time' comments!!

 

[AirForceWife7]

thanks ladies!

very true Kelsey, Im sure he'll be thrilled once LO arrives! he had a wee chat to my tummy tonight and called him by name, so he's coming round to the idea! I think tbh hes been under a lot of pressure from his family who have all been openly wishing for a girl! I hate the 'maybe next time' comments!!

ughhh those are the worst!

Hang in there, and know that he is perfect! Two boys are going to be a blast

 

[jenniferttc1]

He will come around....either later in pregnancy or after the birth, he will
Just remind him there are MANY men out there that wished and long for a beautiful baby boy and he's gotten blessed with two of them

 

[vermeil]

Heir to spare?? What an awful thing to say... His family sounds a bit overbearing

I'm sure he'll come around too!