DH mad that I was using opk

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Rfoster21, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. Rfoster21

    Rfoster21 Active Member

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    Since my period is not very long and irregular due to Merina my DH and I talked about buying opks. I thought we were both on the same page so I ordered them. I figured out when I would start using them and even marked it on our big calendar along with when I thought I would be ovulating. Several days into me using the opks I mentioned to my DH that they were still neg but didn't expect them to be positive until Oct 2nd. He basically told me that he didn't care about the tests and that I was taking all the fun out of baby making (with our first we just let nature take it's course but it drove me nuts bc when I was actually pregnant I had no idea how far along I was) but he told me to do what I want.
    So I continued to test. I wasn't going to waste a $35 test!

    Well yesterday I got my first smiley and was so excited. Our DS and I met up with my DH and I told him today was his lucky day lol and showed him a pic of the test. He seemed excited at first and then changed the subject. I waited all day long for him to come home from work and when he finally did, he kept rejecting me. He finally told me that he really wished that I didn't test bc again, I was taking all the fun out of it. Some arguing went on for a few hours and I was really upset. He I have done all this work and was so excited
    But it was as if he was just shooting me down.

    Thankfully we talked things over and cleared things up on both ends but ughh
    So frustrating! It's not like I secretly did this behind his back or anything. We have been trying since July and discussed together to buy a opk. Anyone else experience this?

    Btw we finally did the deed late at night thankfully! And afterwards I said to him "you mean to tell me that wasn't fun?" Haha
     
  2. MrsWKJ

    MrsWKJ Well-Known Member

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    Never tell Dh your plans, my Dh has no issues but i really feel it makes things alot easier for me if he doesnt know. Do opks but never talk about them.

    Some guys do get performance or anxiety issues if they are told about BD scheduling just make them feel you want them alot more than usual lol
     
  3. Kittycat155

    Kittycat155 SAHM,

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    I would not be shoving it in face. Yes you know your good days but there is no reason to bring it up as "I am fertile we need to have sex" that is alot of pressure. Just know your good days and initiate/dress sexy those days. Not knowing how far along is not a big deal considering how he feels. Just mark your days privately and the sex days too. HPT every so often as just cause you got +OPK does not mean for sure you O. You would need to BBT. If you relied only on the O date given and get pregnant when you get first US you may freak thinking baby is week or so behind when all it is is you O later.
     
  4. Princesa7

    Princesa7 Well-Known Member

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    I kinda experienced this with mine when we were ttc #2. My husband would complain that the tests cost too much and would be like you don't need those. My issue was I would get pregnant & misscarry and going thru that off and on for 5yrs was stressfull and upsetting that my cycle was super wonky from it all.

    This time around were ttc#3 and I told DH I'm buying them no matter what cuz I do not wanna go thru hell again lol so far I heard 1 grumble from him about the cost nothing more but if ihe starts complaining I will buy them on the low. I think after it taking 5yrs last time the Opk's are better than guessing every month lol
     
  5. Rfoster21

    Rfoster21 Active Member

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    Yeah I guess if i don't get pregnant this month that Im just not going buy them again. He and I share everything, I couldn't do it without him knowing. Just frustrating. And yeah I think he was a little weirded out that I was the one trying to initiate lol. But he did tell me he was giving me a taste
    Of my own medicine when I don't feel like having sex.
    This upset me even more bc when I'm o is not the time to hold out!
     
  6. Missbx

    Missbx Well-Known Member

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    My Oh is the same I done the same as you and my oh said exactly the same thing so now I never show I'm my opks or tell him where I am in my cycle I think most men don't like that sort of thing x

    Glad your ok now though good luck for this cycle x :dust: x
     
  7. AniMo2202

    AniMo2202 Well-Known Member

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    I'm very sorry if what I'm going to say next,is rude or mean or whatever,but I think men should just man the hell up!Unfortunately for us women,we do need men (or at least their baby gravy) to create babies.But I also think men should stop whining about how stressful ttc or whatever,is for them.I'm not saying it's not stressful for them,but we,the women,have to do all the rest,so bd'ing on the appropriate days,is the least they could do.

    If the man wants a baby just as much as the woman,then he needs to do everything in his power to help that dream come true.Sacrificing a bit of spontaneous sex is well worth the baby that comes out in the end.
     
  8. kassiaethne

    kassiaethne Mom of a beautiful boy

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    I agree with you Ani but in the end, if they are messed up north in the head, they will not be able to preform down south. My husband said he didn't mind me doing them but just didn't want to know so he wouldn't feel the pressure of it all.

    in the end if we feel pressure...we have lube and a hole, but they have to keep it up by mental stimulation and such and if they are busy thinking about "got to finish got to finish got to get it in her...get the baby...yay baby...oh yuck thinking of baby when having sexy time with my lady....oh DAMNIT lost my boner...."

    Easier to just get them into the sexy mood and get what we need outta them THEN tell them yay today was my fertile day so fingers crossed! or not even, because for men it really makes them feel (for most men not all) that they are failing as men to fertilize their ladies. It's the "job" and such as men (in their head) so every time you don't come back with a pregnancy, it's also telling them "you're not a man" in their heads and that just puts more pressure on them mentally to preform.... so then it goes

    "got to finish! need to be a man, get that baby in her! squirt squirt squirt....oh damn lost my boner thinking about squirting in her rather then actually paying attention to actually doing it"

    So I think the OP should just continue to use em, it's not like he is against em, just doesn't want to know. just like my husband had no problem with using em, just didn't want to know when the time came "just pounce me" is his words lol.

    Also mix it up and be sure to do it on non fertile days too otherwise its basically telling em when you do it 4 specific days all the time ya know?
     
  9. Electricat

    Electricat Well-Known Member

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    I agree with this.
    It's like a 5 day window every month (if you are lucky to O every month) that can give you a baby, and you're gonna pick a fight right then because "you're not feeling it"?
    Like you said - man the hell up!
    My OH has had some performance issues since TTC too, but he gets very little sympathy from me. The women are on edge the whole entire cycle for months on end - now just get your sh!t together for the fertile window.

    Sorry for being mean, but I feel AF coming for yet another visit :cry:
     
  10. Krissykat1006

    Krissykat1006 Well-Known Member

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    My DH and I only had performance issues the first night we TTC...it was like...well this just feels weird now, but once we got that night out of the way we've been on the same page. He knows I test and he doesn't care that I share the news, I got my positive yesterday, sent him a picture and he was just as excited as I was.

    All men are different just like all women are different...you just gotta find what works for you as a couple and go with it :)
     
  11. lm3898

    lm3898 Trying for a 3rd!

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    My DH tried to start with me at first but I wasn't having it - like the poster said - boo hoo for him but MAN UP!

    I almost kicked him when he acted all depressed that it hadn't happened after the first two months...like what do you expect if you don't give it your all?!?! I mean, there's a 15% chance each month even when you do everything right!! As the months go on [on month #4 now] he's come around a bit more.

    My advise is keep using them but maybe keep it to yourself for your own sake so you can :sex: :haha: That way you get to know & he doesn't have to!
     

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