DH wants to tell extended family

[Lirpa11]

Hi gals!

So DH and I have our first scan Friday I will be 7 weeks and 2 or 3 days and scan lady will confirm a due date etc. I can't wait!

Anyhow DH is keen to tell most of his family that night that we are expecting and are 7+ weeks along. I'm excited and I have agreed, but still a bit nervous as I know it's early. we are having a big family dinner that night as his cousin and her partner are in Australia from France. Everyone will be together at once so it's a good opportunity to announce. Plus his cousin and her partner are only here for another week.

DH and I went through ivf and have been having blood tests twice a week since the BFP all is looking good, and as long as the scan looks good we will be released to a normal obgyn instead of the fertility doctor.

We've had closer monitoring than most, and I don't fell like miscarriage is a threat. I'm busting to tell people too.

So what are your thoughts? Anyone else told early?

 

[Buffyx]

We have told our parents & siblings as well as a friend each. I think it is whatever feels comfortable for you. I think if you feel comfortable then do it

We only told people we would be also comfortable telling that we had a miscarriage too.

 

[HerdingDogs]

I've let people I need support from know and I'm only 4 weeks. The dad, my mom, my brothers, my grandmothers, one coworker (needed work advice), and three friends (needed advice because she also got pregnant on plan b, one is my best friend kind of felt obligated to tell her, and one is helping me move heavy furniture to get my house ready). I'm telling everyone else if everything looks good at my 9 week prenatal. EXCEPT coworkers. My coworker, mom, and I agree that it's best for me to not announce it at work until April/May.

 

[spunky84]

We waited until 13 weeks with DD and will probably do the same with this one. The only one who knew right away for both was my mom (and that was for support in case something happened). Well, this one the director of my program and one instructor know, but that's mainly because I needed to know how to proceed in my program and safely in class. Otherwise our mouths are shut for about another 8 weeks!

I think if you both are comfortable and in agreement, I say go for it! It's an exciting time and it's nice that you'll have everyone important together to announce. Telling early won't jinx it.

Are you and your DH just going to tell them or are you announcing in a special way?

 

[Lirpa11]

Thanks ladies. This is telling DHs extended family, so nothing to do with support network. The people closest to us have known for a few weeks now and knew we went through ivf as well.

DH would like to tell his family as his cousin and partner are over from France (she hasn't been here for a few years and won't be back for a long time) and it's the only time the whole family will be together until next Christmas. Also, DH and I are relocating from Australia to usa in a couple of months so he wants to let them know to enjoy it with them for a bit. I can understand where he is coming from,but I also know it is early still.

We weren't going to announce to other people until 9-10 weeks at least, with a nice photo shoot. His sister is coming to our house next week to do this so she can make it look nice. It will just be a hey we are pregnant announcement to his family.

 

[Buffyx]

Like I said, if you're comfortable, do it For me when I had a loss, the hardest and worst part of the whole thing was having to tell the people we had told, which thankfully was just our parents and siblings. So just think about that side of it & make sure you're ok with that part of it too.

 

[HerdingDogs]

That's lovely. I think that's really great that you have this time with everyone there to tell them in person. Are you going to just say it or do you think you want to plan something?

I remember seeing a sex (gender) reveal party where they had a box and filled it with colored balloons to match the sex. I might do that with some sort of it's a baby balloons in a tall box that covers my stomach. Then, I might push the box over to reveal my 2month belly sticker and hold my belly while the balloons fly up to the roof. Post the video on my FB and then immediately change my profile pic and cover photo. But this is just musings of a bored person haha

 

[tulip1975]

With my first pregnancy, I told early and miscarried at 9 weeks. This time I waited until after my 13-week appointment.

 

[Lirpa11]

Thanks ladies.

I'll tell DH if the ultrasound looks good (baby in right spot, strong heart beat) then we can tell his family. If I don't feel right for any reason we will keep it quiet a bit longer.

Currently, miscarriage % is 5% and decreases to 2-3% by week eight if we hear a strong heart beat so fingers crossed.

We will be 7 and a half when we have the ultrasound.

I also know a friend who announced at 13 weeks, and had a still born at 4-5 months. She was heartbroken as you would be. I know the percentage goes down after 13 weeks, but 2-3% makes me feel better as that's quite low.

 

[misspriss]

I told everyone with DS at 4 weeks. We had a loss between, and DH's mom had been saying disparaging things about us having a second this time, so we waited until we had a scan at 10 weeks. My MIL was quite offended that we didn't tell her as early, AFAIK, but oh well.