DH with ED issues TCC #1

[jaybee927]

Hi All,

I am 29 and DH is 33. A few years ago (2011) he had to get a prescription for viagra. He would take about 1/2 a pill of viagra and it would work for like a week or longer. He said he didn't like it very much so he stopped taking it. He argued he was too young and that he doesn't need it. His doctor told him that its totally normal and a lot of men take it at different ages. However, the issue comes up every now and then.

He has had a pretty low sex drive lately. Right after we got married last September we started having more sex. Maybe once a week, maybe less. Which was more than we were having earlier in our relationship due to some of his anxiety/depression issues. His personality is very outgoing and he's very loving and emotionally supportive and I love him with all my heart. He also has asthma and it sometimes affects his breathing during sex.

Now that we are TTC we started having sex during my fertile window. I told him that we need to BD every other day. This made him nervous and he started having ED issues again. I told him we could email his doctor to get a prescription for his viagra (which we did) and he shouldn't be embarrassed and that it was a normal thing. He describes it as a "blood flow" issue.

My question is if anyone else out there can relate? I don't want to seem like I am forcing him to take this medication. But it would be nice if he took at least 1/2 a pill like once a month. I have been super supportive and nice and not pushy at all.

Recently I have had my own fertility issues with having to start provera and clomid to get me to ovulate. I told him that I don't want to have to take clomid a bunch of times to get pregnant and it would be really helpful if he could take the viagra to make sure that we can BD during my fertile window. I feel like I have put my body through a lot with my medications and the least he could do would be to take the viagra. I think he knows all of this but how do I continue to stay supportive in the future with ED and viagra? And not seem like I am being pushy or a perv...but he needs to have more confidence and I need to feel like I can seduce him without having ED issues. We both agree that we should have more sex in our marriage but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one pursuing.

Thanks in advance.

 

[HolisticDoc]

Since he doesn't like medication, do you think he will take supplements? You and your husband should research Maca and L-arginine. Both may help increase libido, improve sperm quality, and increase blood flow to the penis-helping erection.

 

[bluecanary487]

Hi, I can definitely relate to what you're going through. My husband has some mental health issues and he is on antidepressants that make it difficult for him to climax. Sometimes I get really frustrated when he isn't able to "finish the job" during the most crucial days of my cycle. I can totally understand why it would be even more frustrating to have to take fertility treatments and put up with all the side effects and then have it all be for naught because his ED got in the way. My DH is only 34, btw, and I've dated a couple of men over the years who were in their 20's and 30's and had some form of ED. It is actually a relatively common problem but because it can be embarrassing it isn't the type of thing most guys talk about, there is a false perception among men that they are the only ones with this problem, or that it is an "old man" problem. Maybe if you spoke to your husband about this, possibly with a counselor or something, it would help? Or you could do a quick google search about the statistics on ED so he knows he isn't alone and isn't "too young" to take Viagra. Either way, I sympathize with how frustrating it is for you. I don't know if this will help or not, but it is probably just as frustrating for him. If he's anything like my husband, he is feeling really insecure about his ability to satisfy you, feeling like a failure because he's letting you down, and feeling embarrassed, guilty and emasculated because he feels like it's his fault you haven't had a baby yet.
Anyway, I can definitely relate to your frustration, I feel for you and I hope you have a bfp in your near-future. Best of luck