Did/do you get judged?

[MrsDIJ11]

Thanks ladies.

I have been judged already by people that I've told I'm going to FF. I know it may sound stupid but I really have huge psychological issues with BF. I'd love to try it but I just don't think I'll be able to . I'll feel bad enough about that as it is without people passing comment if you see what I mean. x

 

[MrsRabbit]

I felt I was by some. I was in a breastfeeding group. I'd nursed my son for 23 months and here I was supplementing at 2 days old with my daughter. Of course she wouldn't nurse. So here I am giving breastfeeding advice and as you all know some are DEAD set against formula. Although once I switched completely I'd know I'd done everything in my power to make breastfeeding work [pumping exclusively, getting her back to the breast, elim diets] but she needed to be on formula.

As much as I have loved the freedom of combination feeding if I have another I'm not against giving a bottle\formula from the get go.

 

[charlotte-xo]

Thanks ladies.

I have been judged already by people that I've told I'm going to FF. I know it may sound stupid but I really have huge psychological issues with BF. I'd love to try it but I just don't think I'll be able to . I'll feel bad enough about that as it is without people passing comment if you see what I mean. x

if you dont want to bf then dont hun its your decision at the end of the day i certainly wont be judging you!!

 

[angelic_one]

i want to say well done for making the decision ahead of the baby coming. Imo, It takes a really strong person to NOT want to give it a try and know it's not for them already, not being forced to do it by outside pressure. I personally was dead set on breastfeeding, and did so for 3 weeks. It almost completely ruined my first few weeks with my baby. Giving up was the best decision i've made as a mum so far. People keep saying that i gave her the best start, but i honestly don't think it was worth and if i had another baby i would consider ff to begin with. Just my experience.

 

[pinklizzy]

I judge myself! I BF for a week then expressed and combi fed for another 2 weeks until my supply more or less dried up. I was adamant I wanted to BF throughout my pregnancy and feel a failure that I didn't manage it.
I try not to feed LO in public as I'm afraid of other people's opinions but I think that's more my neurosis rather than an actual problem!

 

[peanut56]

I have felt judged a few times, but some of that may have been that I'm very sensitive about it, and still carry guilt over it.
I have definitely felt judged on this site though, for sure. I've come across some threads that have made me question whether or not I should be coming here at all...but thankfully most of the ladies here are great.

 

[ShanandBoc]

On here, there are the ladies who have had no issues with BF and have managed to do it successfully, some of them tho think that means that everyone should be able to do it if they try hard enough....

 

[vaniilla]

sadly you will get judged, from day 1 it was obvious to me what would happen if I decided to ff, at my ante-natal classes the midwife we had giving the sessions would do the most passive aggressive attitude when anyone asked her about problems with bf her answers were always so patronizing and along the lines of 'bf is the most natural thing so it won't go wrong' and hinted it would be your fault if there were any problems

I've had most people from my family, to MIL giving me a long speech on how she had to work long hours and still managed to express milk

long story cut short, I have a problem with my liver and pregnancy aggravated it giving me OC and problems after labour, I expressed and took regular antibiotics which didn't work so tried two other types before having to go on specific meds which I can't bf on, I'm now waiting for a liver function test to see if having waited over a month to take proper meds has caused any damage and all my relatives can think of is how I 'gave up and didn't even try' because I didn't continue expressing on the side

some people have been brainwashed is the only way I can put it without sounding harsh, they hammer bf home without even thinking twice, they're so wrapped up in "informing" everyone that they don't realize maybe people don't need educating and can make up their own minds

sorry it turned into a long one

 

[Sarah10]

they're so wrapped up in "informing" everyone that they don't realize maybe people don't need educating and can make up their own minds

 

[Kitten-B]

I tried to bf in hospital and felt very pressurised to keep trying when it just wasn't working at all. Felt very negatively judged as well when I decided to give LO formula after nearly 24 hours with no food. Not sure if it would have been better if I'd decided to ff from the outset.

I do feel judged as well a lot of the time and find myself feeling the need to explain myself but it could be that's justme being insecure about it after feeling so pressurised and feeling a bit of a failure

Really lovely tho to chat to friends who ff and have this forum!

 

[hodbert]

I have felt very judged as a ff mummy on Baby Club and as a result hardly ever post on there. I really wish something could be done about people on there who are causing this bad feeling for us ffers, but I guess you cant stop people having their opinion but titles like 'why do able-bodied mums chose to ff' (or something along those lines) isnt the best way of wording things, imo.

 

[bubbles123]

I do think it's important for us FF'ers to realise though that we are in the massive majority - something like 98% of women have given formula by 6 months. So I think that sometimes BF'ers feel marginalised and under attack themselves and that's why a small number of them can be very defensive and confrontational. It's mad. The vast majority of people FF yet the powers that be seem to want to pretend it doesn't exist, which is very worrying as people are not getting the advice and support they need with formula, which is in no one's best interests not to mention the effects on the mental health of FF'ers effected by guilt.

 

[Odd Socks]

i've never felt judged by anyone but myself.

bella wouldn't feed & after 2 weeks of her constant screaming, i was readmitted to hospital where a midwife who'd been there when i'd first given birth & tried to help me bf then asked if she could give bella formula, & once she'd settled bella down, had a long chat with me & told me that although she was a very strong advocate of breastfeeding, that i was on the verge of pnd & it wasn't worth it.

i felt horrible (i did express for a further 2 weeks until i wasn't getting a lot of milk), but i felt being given the "ok" by someone made the decision a little easier. i can't be more grateful to the midwife who reassured me that it was alright.

xx

 

[tu123]

Most of my friends exclusively breast feed but they are very supportive. i am lucky. i combo from the bottle. i USED to feel conscious but way more confident about my parenting decisions now-it used to be such a worry for me personally.

Sadly, at our Debenhams store the bottle feeders tend to sit huddled together away from the breastfeeders., in the cafe. (Debenhams cafe in my town is a mum and baby metropolis during the week!).

 

[AppleBlossom]

In RL i have never really been outrightly judged for FF. FOB's stepmum looked down her nose at me for stopping BFing as she was BFing at the same time as me. But apart from that, the only place I have really been judged is on this forum. And to be quite frank, I couldn't give a toss. People can judge me all they like, doesn't bother me

 

[NG09]

Only place I have been openly judged is on bnb in baby club, maybe I have been judged by other people elsewhere but if I have I haven't noticed as I'm not bothered enough to read too much into snide remarks.

 

[angelic_one]

I've never felt judged on here. I felt supported when I breastfed and I felt supported when I decided to switch to formula!

 

[malotkins]

I met a mum from ante-natal class last week and she said she didn't go to the reunion because she had problems breastfeeding and switched to ff, she was worried she would be singled out and get in trouble! It made me so cross that she was made to feel this way.

 

[leelee]

Also, the only place iv felt judged is on this site

Me too. Lots of judgement on here.

In real life I have never been judged.

 

[Windmills]

No, never IRL