Disaplin/punishment/rewards

Cazza89

Mummy of 1,expecting no.2
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
805
Reaction score
0
Just wondering how everyone else does these things!?

What techniques do you use? Have you used any that didn't work for you? Why do/don't they work for you?
 
Andrew is about 18m developed ...

We use a firm "No!" If he ignores that or repeats the behaviour immediately, he gets a time-out in his playpen in the corner of the room, with no interaction from us, for about 5 minutes. (His playpen has very few toys in it as they are scattered across the room, it's more a safe zone for if we have to leave the room for any reason.) I don't think it works necessarily as discipline but more as distraction!
 
Right now just No and distract, he's only 14 months.
 
She's 4 yrs old. I don't shout at her unless the situation is dangerous.

I use a firm voice and tell her to stop whatever she is doing. If she persists, I get down to her level and explain to her that what she did was wrong, and why it was wrong.
Then she goes on the naughty step for 4 minutes.

If she has been persistently naughty in a certain week, she doesn't get a treat on Saturday, which is usually a trip to the park or maybe a play date with her friends.

Works for us :flower:
 
We don't use punishments or rewards. If she is behaving inappropriately, I'll ask her to stop/remove her from the situation and explain why. That's pretty much it! I'm very far removed from being permissive though. I think I have quite high expectations of behaviour and I am very consistent. So far, it is working well for us.
 
We don't use punishments or rewards. If she is behaving inappropriately, I'll ask her to stop/remove her from the situation and explain why. That's pretty much it! I'm very far removed from being permissive though. I think I have quite high expectations of behaviour and I am very consistent. So far, it is working well for us.

We follow the same. So far it's also working for us xxx
 
We don't really do punishment or reward either, and I hope to keep it that way even as he pushes the boundaries further. There are consequences to his actions, but they're not arbitrary. If he throws his food on the floor for example, then the food is taken away. If he tries eating his crayons even after I've told him not to, and he's looking cheekily at me while going to take a bite, his crayons are taken away and we find something else to play with! ...and so on. :)

We do a lot of explaining as well, even if he might not comprehend the entirety of it yet. I know he understands enough!
 
I don't use punishment either. I generally use a 'no' and a brief explanation followed by lots of distraction or taking him out of the situation. I do tell him simple consequences eg, if eating his crayons, 'if you do that again mummy will take the crayons away' and then act on it as soon as he does it again. He's getting pretty good at understanding this phrasing at the mo and generally stops what he's doing unless he's in the mood to try and get a reaction by carrying on.

I am planning to use some kind of time out once the above methods stop working (thinking terrible 2s here!) but haven't needed to yet.
 
When she was 1-2 we used to tell her firmly NO and put her down facing away from us. Then have a simple conversation abou what she did wrong. Only when she did something very unacceptable like hit/bite/deliberately break things.


Now we maily just use a firm voice get down to her level and talk things thruogh

Shes pretty well behaved for a two year old. its worked for us
 
We don't use punishments or rewards. If she is behaving inappropriately, I'll ask her to stop/remove her from the situation and explain why. That's pretty much it! I'm very far removed from being permissive though. I think I have quite high expectations of behaviour and I am very consistent. So far, it is working well for us.

We follow the same. So far it's also working for us xxx

Exactly the same here ;)

I have no problem at all with punishments and rewards but it's not somethig for us ;)
 
I use a firm "No" followed by a reason like "No, dangerous" or "No, not for Kili" she usually will cry the first time but then won't go for that thing again and if she does the No will work again with no crying =)

If that doesn't work or if it's something that isn't always off limits I just try to redirect her to something else.
 
I don't believe in punishments/discipline or time outs.

If she is doing something wrong, I ask myself what's wrong about it. For example, If she's climbing onto the chair to get onto the worktop, that is obviously dangerous, but climbing itself isn't naughty. So I let her climb on the sofa or somewhere more appropriate.

This technique can be used in almost all situations.
I also don't shout, and I use the word 'no' as little as possible.

She's only 14 months at the moment, but I'll continue this way.
 
I don't believe in punishments/discipline or time outs.

If she is doing something wrong, I ask myself what's wrong about it. For example, If she's climbing onto the chair to get onto the worktop, that is obviously dangerous, but climbing itself isn't naughty. So I let her climb on the sofa or somewhere more appropriate.

This technique can be used in almost all situations.
I also don't shout, and I use the word 'no' as little as possible.

She's only 14 months at the moment, but I'll continue this way.

I like this ;)

I hardy ever use 'no'
 
Like Miss Bump, Tacey, Kimmer and Omar's mum said - we don't use these things.

I hardly ever say no either, and actually find that it gets listened to when I do say it. I am concerned about not being too permissive but Ruby and I seem to have a good understanding about what's cool and what's not these days, sure we'll go through difficult phases plenty though!
 
I don't believe in punishments/discipline or time outs.

If she is doing something wrong, I ask myself what's wrong about it. For example, If she's climbing onto the chair to get onto the worktop, that is obviously dangerous, but climbing itself isn't naughty. So I let her climb on the sofa or somewhere more appropriate.

This technique can be used in almost all situations.
I also don't shout, and I use the word 'no' as little as possible.

She's only 14 months at the moment, but I'll continue this way.

I do the same! OH doesn't understand it at all but I just can't bring myself to tell her not to do something when I see no real reason she shouldn't do it. He thinks she should learn to obey us even if what we want isn't reasonable but I don't agree and unfortunately for him I usually get my way! :haha:

If people saw half the things I let her play with they'd think I'm crazy but I just watch her closely and clean up whatever mess she manages to make I'm not bothered by it. If she completely destroys the living room and had a great time doing it I consider that a successful day!
 
I don't believe in punishments/discipline or time outs.

If she is doing something wrong, I ask myself what's wrong about it. For example, If she's climbing onto the chair to get onto the worktop, that is obviously dangerous, but climbing itself isn't naughty. So I let her climb on the sofa or somewhere more appropriate.

This technique can be used in almost all situations.
I also don't shout, and I use the word 'no' as little as possible.

She's only 14 months at the moment, but I'll continue this way.

I do the same! OH doesn't understand it at all but I just can't bring myself to tell her not to do something when I see no real reason she shouldn't do it. He thinks she should learn to obey us even if what we want isn't reasonable but I don't agree and unfortunately for him I usually get my way! :haha:

If people saw half the things I let her play with they'd think I'm crazy but I just watch her closely and clean up whatever mess she manages to make I'm not bothered by it. If she completely destroys the living room and had a great time doing it I consider that a successful day!

:thumbup:

Toddlers are driven by strong impulse urges and as a result of that behaviour may seem 'naughty' when in fact it's totally normal and age appropriate
 
Kay is actaully fairly well behaved for 13months old. At the moment the only problem we have is when walking when we should be going one way and he wants the other and he sits down and strops lol...then he gets put back in the pram walked for 2minutes then a quick explain as to why he was put back in the pram...i realise he might not understand this now, but i am staying consistent and so far its working lol....

we do use the word 'no' but only because it kind of just happened, and no is only used for naughty things so its not used in any other context lol......xxx
 
I don't believe in punishments/discipline or time outs.

If she is doing something wrong, I ask myself what's wrong about it. For example, If she's climbing onto the chair to get onto the worktop, that is obviously dangerous, but climbing itself isn't naughty. So I let her climb on the sofa or somewhere more appropriate.

This technique can be used in almost all situations.
I also don't shout, and I use the word 'no' as little as possible.

She's only 14 months at the moment, but I'll continue this way.

I do the same! OH doesn't understand it at all but I just can't bring myself to tell her not to do something when I see no real reason she shouldn't do it. He thinks she should learn to obey us even if what we want isn't reasonable but I don't agree and unfortunately for him I usually get my way! :haha:

If people saw half the things I let her play with they'd think I'm crazy but I just watch her closely and clean up whatever mess she manages to make I'm not bothered by it. If she completely destroys the living room and had a great time doing it I consider that a successful day!

:thumbup:

Toddlers are driven by strong impulse urges and as a result of that behaviour may seem 'naughty' when in fact it's totally normal and age appropriate

Yes they definitely are impulsive! I'm forever having to explain to OH that if he doesn't want Kili to get something he has to actually hide it, not just put it out of her reach. He seems to think she's old enough to learn not to get something if he says no enough times just because no does work sometimes. I've realized life is just easier if everything she can see in a room she's allowed to have!
 
for EJ (16mths), its a firm NO, Stop and come away/leave it alone and if he doesnt come and leave it then hes removed from the situation and we repeat i try to distract him with other things so he doesnt go back to it

for Nate(3yrs) the same but if he doesnt listen he gets removed if he continues then it results in time out on the mat in the middle of the floor and he gets a full explanation of what the reason is then hugs and kisses with a sorry at the end of his time.
 
Yes they definitely are impulsive! I'm forever having to explain to OH that if he doesn't want Kili to get something he has to actually hide it, not just put it out of her reach. He seems to think she's old enough to learn not to get something if he says no enough times just because no does work sometimes. I've realized life is just easier if everything she can see in a room she's allowed to have![/QUOTE]

So then what would happen when you're somewhere (ie.a friends/relatives house or shop etc) that she's not allowed to have everything in sight!? What do you do then?
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,306
Messages
27,144,852
Members
255,758
Latest member
yednow
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"
<-- Admiral -->