Disappointed with finding out I'm having 2nd girl

[AshleyLK]

The reason I started to have children was because my husband wanted them so badly. Our first was a girl and of course I was disappointed because I knew he wanted a boy. Our daughter is the love of our lives but it doesn't fulfill my husbands want for a boy. Also did I mention his family name will die with him if he doesn't have a boy? So much pressure. Now, 16 weeks ago I became pregnant again. So hopeful for a boy again, but lo and behold, just found out it is a girl. I had awful thoughts such as pregnancy termination but I couldn't ever do that.

Now I am considering if I should get pregnant again....also I am considering more extreme(and expensive) measures, such as invetro fertilization with gender selection. It would wipe out our savings but it would prevent us from having three girls.

I hate that I feel this way.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'm sorry you didn't get your boy and that it's hit you so hard . Have you spoken to you husband about how he feels, and how you're feeling? Perhaps he doesn't mind so much about not having a boy. Also your girls might keep their surname, or double barrel- I have one of my maiden surnames as well as my DH's surnames.

 

[AshleyLK]

I think he's mostly over it but I wonder if his long term outlook is going to be the same. Like, he will regret never having a boy. Thanks for the support

 

[Misscalais]

Big I'm having my 3rd boy, no girls for me. I was hoping this bub world be a girl ( hubby reaaaaaally wanted a girl each time ) so this time it hit him really hard and he's pretty well had nothing to do with my pregnancy, including helping pick names. He wouldn't agree on anything I suggested. Was due Sunday so hoping when bub arrives he will release his GD. I'm over it ( I'm still sad ill never have a daughter ) but I love my new son and can't wait to meet him.
Good luck I hope you feel better about it soon xo

 

[archie14]

I am so sorry hun u are going through all this. I am in the same boat so can feel your pain.
Is 16 week is not so early to get the correct outcome for gender scan? I have heard before 18 week it could be wrong.

 

[george83]

I've got two gorgeous little boys but have always longed for a little girl. I don't have the same experience with a oh who felt the same way though so can't imagine the pressure you must feel under.

 

[AshleyLK]

Yeah she is a girl. Unmistakable. I was disappointed for a while but now am warming up to the idea. I am strongly considering in a few years doing IVF with gender selection....but perhaps my feelings will change

 

[AllyTiel]

I know how you feel Ashley. I just found out today I'm having my second girl. I was really hoping for a boy this time. Like you, I love my daughter to pieces but I wanted a boy a lot and for my husbands sake also because he was really hoping for a boy. he didn't show any disappointment though. I'm the worst. I cried on the way home and also several times since we've been home. I can't accept it yet. We only want one more after this, so I know now chances are much lower for us ever having a boy. I never had a sister only 4 brothers so I'm so used to boys. Boys are fun. My daughter is too but my gosh she's dramatic.

 

[Emma&Freya]

When I was having Freya I never found out the sex. Secretly I was desperate for a little girl and Sean wanted a little boy.

I was made up when I had our little girl and so was Sean.

When I got pregnant again, we wasn't going to find out the sex, we did in the end and found out I was having a little girl. Sean was so disappointed because he wanted a boy. His Dad said 'youll have to have a son next ,mate' so pressure is obviously on.

Id love a boy BUT as long as my children are happy and healthy I don't care what sex they are.

When baby is born you and OH will love her no matter what

 

[AshleyLK]

Ally- aw I'm sorry Hun, but trust me you will warm up to the idea. I think we had all that hope in leaning toward a particular sex that it was all dashed in a second, and that can be quite upsetting. Your husband sounds very sweet and I have came to terms with what is meant to be, is meant to be. I think boys are fun, but so rambunctious! I am not overly religious but I do believe we are only given as much as we can handle in life. I also think that having all these girls is also going to make us step up and be better moms, since we are these girls #1 role model now. I decided I'm going to be more active and in sports because I want to teach my girls to be healthy and athletic. These little ladies are going to make us better people.

Emma- I understand the pressure! I was dead set on my husband having a vasectomy after our second, NOw I am not pressuring him to do so because now I am open to trying again for a boy. And also being pregnant is not the most easy of endeavors, especially when having other children. Now that we are not having a boy, I have to be open to subjecting my body to that work load of pregnancy again. Also I have to have c sections so it's not an easy recovery either. I am right there with you on the healthy baby part,,,that is such a blessing, having a boy would just be a bonus

 

[Misscalais]

I know how you feel Ashley. I just found out today I'm having my second girl. I was really hoping for a boy this time. Like you, I love my daughter to pieces but I wanted a boy a lot and for my husbands sake also because he was really hoping for a boy. he didn't show any disappointment though. I'm the worst. I cried on the way home and also several times since we've been home. I can't accept it yet. We only want one more after this, so I know now chances are much lower for us ever having a boy. I never had a sister only 4 brothers so I'm so used to boys. Boys are fun. My daughter is too but my gosh she's dramatic.

Aww I hope you get a son one day big