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Do men ever grow up?

LynAnne

Mum to 2 Boys
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Nov 22, 2012
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With babies well and truly on the brain at the moment, I've become aware of just how big a kid my OH is! It's making me wonder whether he will ever grow up and be ready to start a family. Whilst he has brought the subject up himself recently :)happydance:) he still isn't mentally ready for babies. He definitely enjoys being the one who works and spending his time at home with me crashed out in front of the tv or his Xbox. It's my own fault. I do spoil him by doing all the housework while he's at work but even at the weekends I do most of it. :dohh:

Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits and this isn't a moan about him. I just would like some reassurance that they do eventually grow up a bit! :haha:
 
Errrr well sorry to say that from my personal experience I can't give you any reassurance lol! My df is still pretty much a teenager (at 26!). He's still obsessed with the Xbox and I still have to ask a million times for help with anything around the house BUT since having Emilia he has got better, he's still not responsible in the way I am and I often feel like the only grown up in our family but a lot of the time that's my own fault coz as a control freak I like to make sure everything is as it should be (ie bill payments, organising moving house etc). He is a brilliant dad and wonderful partner and I've just had to learn to live with the fact that he will always be that much more immature than me, but it works for us (albeit the odd argument of course!).
 
My hubby will be 30 next year and he's still xbox obsessed (soon to turn into ps4 obsessed). In some ways I'm dreading finding out what he will be like when we have a baby :dohh:
 
There's a ps4 coming out too?? Oh lord it was bad enough hearing about this Xbox one!!
 
The OH is definitely the kid in this relationship. What is it with boys and their XBox and PS3/4? I mean, I enjoy a good game too but only once the housework is done and I'm organised! :haha:

I hope he'll mature enough soon to be ready for a baby and even more so when we do actually have one!
 
My df has grown up a bit, but still nowhere near as much as I'd like lol! But then again he wouldn't be who he is if he was more responsible lol!

I don't get it with these games consoles either, but then he pointed out to me that I spend my time glued to bnb and Facebook lol!
 
There's a ps4 coming out too?? Oh lord it was bad enough hearing about this Xbox one!!

Yep november 29th hubby's is due to arrive :dohh:

Thankfully I'm away that night as it's my cousin's hen night :happydance:
 
Wow I feel lucky, my dh cooks, cleans, does all the washing, he is still a big kid (but hates computer games) but is also responsible, he is however terrified of the idea of being responsible for a child!
 
No reassurance from here either lol, DH recently turned 27 and still hasnt grown up but he is a bit more mature than when he was younger. If i wait till he grows up i'll be waiting forever, he's already getting a few grey hairs so thats mature enough in my book! Parenthood will soon make him grow up haha xx
 
I agree! Don't think they ever grow up fully, bf is more responsible in that we have bills to pay so can't spend all his money, but he is still a kid! My grandpa is still a big kid at heart and my dad still acts like a 21 year old! Lol
I don't think they ever grow up properly, they just learn when to act grown up in certain situations
 
Nothing changes, we have a 3 year old and OH is still like that.
 
hey, video games are fun! I love my Wii and Xbox, I still watch cartoons too and so does my DH. We have 2 kids now and they are perfectly happy, healthy, well looked after. DH is always willing to help me if I need it first before he plays, and I make sure the kids are in bed before I get my game on, and for us that's reasonable. We both agreed that our kids come first, so we would never ignore our children for the tv or a game, and we game much less than we used to. Before kids I could stay up all night long playing, waste my day playing for 19hrs straight and think nothing of it, now I only play maybe a few hours every couple of months and DH plays maybe 2 hrs a week, so things could change, they sure did for us. And honestly, if that's how my DH likes to unwinds, I don't see a problem with it, even after kids we all need to do what makes us happy and have time to ourselves once in a while to keep us from going insane. I'd rather have him here with us than out blowing all our money at the bar getting drunk anyway.
 
No reassurance here. DH is 37 and still plays on the Wii every night after work (but has to turn it off when I get home, rule i set a longgg time ago), so he gets a good hour of playtime. On the rare occasion he's not playing the Wii, he's watching whatever sporting event might be on TV at the time (he used to play the PS4, but shoot...it broke :) )

The Wii is mine, but I only really use it for Just Dance or Zumba (and when I say "use it" I really mean I bought those games with good intentions and they are there for when I'm done being lazy). I'm not against video games, just never think to play them.

I do all the cleaning, make the bed, clean up the bathroom, do general cleaning, clean the liter box (my cat though), make our breakfast/lunch every day during the work week, but since I get home later than he does he makes dinner twice a week. I don't mind doing all the cleaning as I'm somewhat of a neat freak (and he's not) but it does get to me sometimes.

We've recently had a conversation about him DOING things more around the house without me having to ask him to. I had a flashback to the part in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer's character was like " I want you to WANT to do the dishes" -- thankfully my OH handled that conversation better :) It's now his job to take out the trash and do the dishes WITHOUT me asking. And I appreciate that he does, but of course from time to time he has to have me praise him for doing it. Like a 5 year old :)

Overall, he has grown up a little, especially after all this talk of TTC. But I think he'll always be a child at heart.
 
Just saw this thread title and popped in as someone who's been in baby-land for a while...

From the number of threads I've seen where mothers complain about how useless/lazy/obsessed with computer games their OHs are, and how they always thought/hoped they'd grow up when the baby arrives, it seems like the answer is NO!

I always feel grateful that my OH has just never been into those things. He was ready to be a father before he became a father, and to be honest, I think that is REALLY important. I'm not saying it's impossible for a man to change, but I sure wouldn't count on it. The number of threads where exactly this sort of issue is driving a relationship apart are scary, to be honest.

Sort it out now would be my advice, or seriously reconsider TTC. I know that's frightening advice, but I just always feel so sad when I see yet another "My OH prioritises GTAV above me and baby :(" thread.
 
My husband is a big gamer (we actually met through World of Warcraft :haha:), and he has had no problems adjusting to fatherhood. He still loves to climb over everything and get down and dirty (hence the military job), but he takes his responsibilities very seriously. I still classify him as a big kid though!

I guess it would depend on the man in general. Guys tend to be more "hands on", so it's not as real to them until the baby is there.
 
It's interesting to hear that they don't ever quite grow up. At least I'm not completely alone! The more I think about it I realise that my dad is a massive kid at heart and he was a SAHD who did all the housework and school runs while my mum worked!

This thread wasn't a moan but a curiosity. I don't have any issue with the OH playing games unless there's a huge stack of dishes needing done first but he's getting better at that :haha: Also, if I made him sound super lazy I'd like to reassure you he's not. He just needs encouragement to do things like a kid. I just do a lot of the work around the house and wondered how much that would change if a baby arrived!

There'll certainly be no "My OH prioritises GTAV above me and baby" threads from me as a PP put it.
 
^^^ same from me, I don't mind my df playing the Xbox at all (gives me more time for bnb lol!) it's more the fact that he always goes straight to the Xbox before considering anything that might need doing, like simply popping the washing machine on or sterilising Emilia's bottles. Consequently I have to nag and nag, and go around cleaning up after him (clothes and towels on the floor, glasses and cups next to the sofa etc) so it feels like I have another big kid to look after! I think some men just don't see the mess like we do lol!
But despite not being as grown up as I would like I don't think that has a bearing on whether he was ready to be a dad. He's a brilliant dad and my LG adores him (to the point I often think she prefers him to me lol)......so just because they aren't grown up in some ways, doesn't mean they aren't ready to be fathers. They will be responsible when it counts and when they need to be, problem is (according to my df) we women are so good at everything that they leave it to us coz we would only complain when they don't do it right lol (those were my df's words not mine lol)
 
But despite not being as grown up as I would like I don't think that has a bearing on whether he was ready to be a dad. He's a brilliant dad and my LG adores him (to the point I often think she prefers him to me lol)......so just because they aren't grown up in some ways, doesn't mean they aren't ready to be fathers. They will be responsible when it counts and when they need to be, problem is (according to my df) we women are so good at everything that they leave it to us coz we would only complain when they don't do it right lol (those were my df's words not mine lol)

I have no doubts that my OH wont be an amazing dad. I can easily see him saying "Let me change/bath/feed the baby while you do the dishes/washing." He probably wouldn't do all the cleaning to my standard anyway! :haha:
 
My oh is 32 he loves his Xbox and I go to bed 3 hours before him to give him his own time and I need more sleep anyway. However as I was ill a couple of years back I was the one who got lazy. He always takes the bin out, we share doing meals and loading unloading the dishwasher and clothes washing etc but he does the hoovering etc.

I think its what makes a perfect balance in a family, if both parents were clean freaks and very very grown up and mature it would be boring for the child, they need a good balance between adult and child and I think a dad fits that perfectly, they are mature enough to know priorities but childlike enough to bond well and entertain the kids.

I don't think it matters what they are like now, its who they change to be with children xx
 
Like all the others have said really, my hubby turns 33 in just over 2 months and he's just the same with his PS3 (definitely not forking out for a PS4 yet :haha: ) he's being grumpy because he hasn't got the new Fifa 14 and he now has to give back Grand theft auto 5 that he lent off his brother in law, I don't know why he's complaining he's already completed the bloody thing lol

I think having our daughter has just made my husband even more of a child himself, I was only doing the dishes last night and all I could hear from out of the living room was him playing silly tormenting games on my daughter that she wasn't please about it was just like he was the older brother winding her up rather than her father, and he wonders why I speak to him like a child and tell him off :haha:
 

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