Do you feel like you have something to prove?

[lov3hat3]

Even before i was pregnant i ALWAYS felt like i had alot to prove. I went through soo much shit at school, i was constantly being criticized and being bitched about because of what i chose to look like. Teachers said i would never make it in anything i wanted to do, if i didnt change, and that no one would ever be nice to me or stop talking about me because i was "fueling the fire" by not changing and that it was "human nature" to talk about me. I want alot of things in life and i always felt that even though i was gonna do it for myself, i had to prove to every single one of them that they were wrong.

Now im pregnant and i feel like i have even more to prove. People just assume that if you have a baby early on in life, thats it for you. Obviously we all know thats not true. But i feel like on top of everything else, i need to prove to people that i can still do what i wanna do and have my baby. I guess i just wanna know if anyone else feels this way and if its just part of being a teen mum I just wish people were more open minded about it all.

 

[holly2234]

Personally i dont feel that way because i dont have that many people in my life and the ones i do have support me. If anyone doesnt support me i dont have them in my life at all as i dont want to feel inadequate.

 

[caramelKSSxx]

Absolutely! Im almost exactly in that situation. Mostly to my family. They think I'm lazy and pretty much crazy and stupid because of some of the things I've chosen to do. My OH is 23 and some of my fam thinks I'm only with him bc I'm a dumb teenage girl (I'll be 18 in March) and don't know anything bout love or life. It's been my goal since day one to prove them wrong. I chose to not go to a 4yr school right after HS and instead go to community college a semester or a year later, even before I got preg. They think I'm never gonna do anything w my life. The list could go on.

I've realized it's partially me doing it to myself. My entire life has been me trying to be better than people expect me to be, since I was young. At the end of the day, you've gotta live for you, Hun. Not them. It's your life only, not theirs! They can criticize and judge all they like but they can only take away what you allow them to have. Don't let your worth be one of them. And I'm sure it'll be harder since we've fallen under the category of "teen moms", people will look down at us or turn their noses up as if they're more than us. Don't believe any of it! If anything our worth is that much higher for allowing ourselves to be subject to criticism in order to keep our children happy. We can be every and anything we wanna.

 

[lov3hat3]

Absolutely! Im almost exactly in that situation. Mostly to my family. They think I'm lazy and pretty much crazy and stupid because of some of the things I've chosen to do. My OH is 23 and some of my fam thinks I'm only with him bc I'm a dumb teenage girl (I'll be 18 in March) and don't know anything bout love or life. It's been my goal since day one to prove them wrong. I chose to not go to a 4yr school right after HS and instead go to community college a semester or a year later, even before I got preg. They think I'm never gonna do anything w my life. The list could go on.

I've realized it's partially me doing it to myself. My entire life has been me trying to be better than people expect me to be, since I was young. At the end of the day, you've gotta live for you, Hun. Not them. It's your life only, not theirs! They can criticize and judge all they like but they can only take away what you allow them to have. Don't let your worth be one of them. And I'm sure it'll be harder since we've fallen under the category of "teen moms", people will look down at us or turn their noses up as if they're more than us. Don't believe any of it! If anything our worth is that much higher for allowing ourselves to be subject to criticism in order to keep our children happy. We can be every and anything we wanna.

Its just so hard, people that arent in our situation have no clue what its like I guess we've just gotta do the best we can Thankyou for that! really helped me realise stuff

 

[caramelKSSxx]

Absolutely! Im almost exactly in that situation. Mostly to my family. They think I'm lazy and pretty much crazy and stupid because of some of the things I've chosen to do. My OH is 23 and some of my fam thinks I'm only with him bc I'm a dumb teenage girl (I'll be 18 in March) and don't know anything bout love or life. It's been my goal since day one to prove them wrong. I chose to not go to a 4yr school right after HS and instead go to community college a semester or a year later, even before I got preg. They think I'm never gonna do anything w my life. The list could go on.

I've realized it's partially me doing it to myself. My entire life has been me trying to be better than people expect me to be, since I was young. At the end of the day, you've gotta live for you, Hun. Not them. It's your life only, not theirs! They can criticize and judge all they like but they can only take away what you allow them to have. Don't let your worth be one of them. And

I'm sure it'll be harder since we've fallen under the category of "teen moms", people will look down at us or turn their noses up as if they're more than us. Don't believe any of it! If anything our worth is that much higher for allowing ourselves to be subject to criticism in order to keep our children happy. We can be every and anything we wanna.

Its just so hard, people that arent in our situation have no clue what its like I guess we've just gotta do the best we can Thankyou for that! really helped me realise stuff

You're more than welcome of course they don't know, and they don't bother to ask or try to understand. They'll only assume. But like you said, just do the very best that you can and know you're always giving your all and the rewards from that will come naturally!

 

[Lunaty]

Alright, im not exactly a teen anymore but ive been in exactly the same spot!

I moved out of the house at 15, dropped out of evening school as I had a full time job I needed to pay the bills, If it's one thing ive learned is that if you put your mind to something you can achieve it!

I did not have any school qualifications though through hard work I ended up havinga good full time job (callcenter) and worked myself up to a decent position.. After I gained that experience it was very easy for me to find a new job (I had people come to me if id like to switch etc.) and at 20 I bough my own place (i had just finihed with my then boyfriend after 3 years)...

In the new Job i met my current husband Even though we only got to move in there a couple of months before we decided to move to his country (his dad was terminally ill)
It gave me a real sense of achievement and I knew that even if it did not work out, id always have something to fall back on! We still have the place and it's rented out.. we are looking to buy another property here in NZ..!

I have a wonderful husband a lovely baby boy (no. 2 on the way) and now my own busniess in something that is a hobby to me

So dont let anyone tell you you will not get to where you want to be, stuff everyone.. I still feel very proud of myself fro being where I am today And it's very satisfying to see the look on people's faces from when i was younger LOL

 

[holly2234]

When you said people who dont feel it dont understand isnt entirely right! I understand as ive felt it in the past with school etc. I never went in and they always said i wouldnt do well because of it. I left with some good grades in the end that im proud of. Also my job isnt the best but im good at what i do and have been told so. It was difficult to get the grades and find a job but ive done it now so i no longer feel that way and refuse to feel it again! I found a way that works for me to prevent that feeling.

Hopefully you will get through this and find peace with yourself so that what others say or think doesnt matter anymore.

 

[cheeky92x]

I just try to ignore people's bullshit. They're always going to find something to criticize you about. It's just how people are!

 

[smc17]

i just found out that im pregnant, and this is something im really worried about. im almost 20, and i went to a four year college but left my fourth semester to work and take a few community college classes.
Im mostly worried about being criticized by my own family. even though i know that they will support me, i feel like they are going to be ashamed of me or something? specially my dad
my parents were in the navy and got married at 19 and 20 and then had me at 21 and 20 so i guess the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree. specially cause the FOB is in the military.

 

[joanneNbabyx]

yeah i feel like i got something to prove, coz my mum had my older brother at 19 and ever since that she just started popping out other babies, and never got a job ,fell apart, and became real lazy. so apparently some family members think im gonna turn out like her. and they assume that i got pregnant on purpose so i dont have to work, which soo isnt true!!
so i feel i have to prove that im not, and wont turn out like her, not gonna fall apart, and WIILL get another job, not do what my mum did

 

[LittlePeople]

I totally get what you mean! When I started to tell people I was pregnant, everyone expected me to drop out of University, and so nothing for the rest of my life (which is what a few of my friends and a cousin of mine did) So I definitely feel like I have to prove to all of those people that I will finish Uni and get a decent job to support my family!

Just remember, everything you do from now on, is for you and your baby!