Do you mind your OH going away close to the end?

[Kirst264]

Hi ladies, just wanting to know if i'm being over the top here. Honest opinions please! OH wants to go away, not far, it's only an hour or 2 away, for a boozy weekend with his friends when i am 37 weeks. It's not a stag do or anything, it's basically a weekend-long piss up to watch the golf. I don't think i feel comfortable with him going away and being drunk when i could pop at any time and would need him to take me to the hospital. He had promised he wouldn't drink from the day i turned full-term onwards so he could be on standby, and now he wants an extension. I wouldn't mind so much if he wasn't staying away for the whole weekend.

Am i being unreasonable? Would you mind your men going away?

 

[lillybells]

I stopped my OH from drinking at the start of Aug and I wasn't due until the 4th Sept, so if it was me I wouldn't be happy.

Chances are you won't go into labour but you just never know do you!

Good luck

xx

 

[Kitten-B]

Mine's going away when I'm about 35 or 36 weeks for a night. I've said I don't want him going any later and he seems fine with that. But that is a plane ride away, I don't think I'd mind if it was an hour or so drive away, but probably only if he was sober enough to drive. I mean at the end of the day the commute to his work is an hour anyway.

In reality though if he had to go away for a night or two with work thre'd be nothing we could do.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all - in that situation I'd probably argue against it. But it might be a long argument....

 

[Phinners]

I have asked my man not be more than 30-60 mins away from me for the last 6-8 weeks. He;s not the sort of bloke to go out on the piss anyway, or for w/e's away but he does belong to a Gentlemans wine tasting club and every 3 motnhs the old farts get to gether for a food and wine night. Normally he'd take his dad and they'd stay over but this time he is going to drive back, so he can be with me if I need him.

I dont think youre being unreasonable, I think your chap is, you could be 'cooked' at any moment and he's away shit faced and unable to drive home. Put your foot down there hun.

 

[Nicollexx]

ive stopped my OH going out at the start of september
there would be no way in hell i'd let him go away for a weekend this late on, anything could happen!

 

[NetsaBaba]

Mine will be away towards the end, but on work so its slightly different. But he still might not get back in time. Im sure there wont be a problem though. (fingers crossed)

 

[Phinners]

^ What Nicole says.

Mine is having to delegate his project work out too, theres no way he's trekking off to meetings 3 hours away. He's going to the works quiz night providing he is home by 9pm, and its only 30 mins away.

 

[Shwhattam+1]

My main issue with your situation would be the drinking. If you go into labour (which is very possible at 37 wks), how is he going to be there? Also, what is going on in his head that he thinks it's a good idea?

I don't have to say a word to my OH about going out/not going out, he knows that he wants to be close by and has turned down invites to even just golf.

 

[ttc_lolly]

I honestly don't think you are being unreasonable hun, because it's for the full wkend!! If it was a night round his mates, or down his local then that would be fine (I have already told OH he can still go have a few every now and again once I'm full term but he has to stay close and not get sh!tfaced!!). It's not just about if u went into labour, what if anything happened!? And he's 2hrs away but too drunk to drive back to be with you? I'd keep my foot firmly on the ground with this one x

 

[sherple]

my dh wouldnt dream of asking as he know what the response would be. Mind, he's as excited as me about the baby and hates leaving me to just go to work. lol

 

[Phinners]

my dh wouldnt dream of asking as he know what the response would be. Mind, he's as excited as me about the baby and hates leaving me to just go to work. lol

Mines like that at the moment, he seems to be beating himself up over work at the moment, which hurts me. He's aways adored his job with a true passion, and has always been a very early riser to the office - he says he gets more work done in the early 3 hours when it's empty than all day when folk are there. And Oxford is a ******* to drive out of at end of play time, so he stays a bit late and gets home at 7. BUt he's got some big projects on at the minute thats demanding so much of his free time as well, he can work at home to do it but feels he's abandoning me too much. I think its getting him down a bit

 

[Mrs_N]

My dh went to a stag do last weekend, so when I was 36+4. He was away friday until monday.
My mum came to stay with me just in case and we had a lovely girly weekend!

Saying that, it wasn't really a boozy weekend - they went to centre parcs and did loads of sports! He had strict instructions not to drink too much, and a friend of his who doesn't drink at all was very kindly on standby to drive him if necessary. The place is also only 1 hour from our home and 30 minutes from the hospital.

He was meant to be going away this weekend to a gig but because it's in London he's decided not to go as it's too far away.

Unless he can promise to be available if anything happens and be in a fit state to drive and act as your birth partner then I wouldn't be happy. It's not the being away as such, it's more about the drinking!

 

[Kirst264]

He wont even have the car with him so he wouldn't be able to drive anyway

The thing that bugged me was he never asked, i saw his friend and him speaking about it on facebook and he said something along the lines of "the missus has imposed a drinking ban but i'll have to grovel for an extension" and his friend replied with "tell her to sook in" which really annoyed me!! So i asked him last night if he was going and he said yes. Never asked if i minded. I text him today saying i wasn't happy about it and he said " we will discuss it tonight" grrrr x

 

[xemmax]

personally, i would be offended if my boyfriend had even considered that as an option. going away is one thing, drinking is one thing, but both together is drastically out of the question for practical reasons and i would go spare if he was even to ask! what if he was hammered AND 2 hours away - how could he get home? i'd probably let him make his own mind up, but make sure he knows that there is every chance you could go into labour and every chance that he could end up missing the birth. i'm sure that's the last thing he would ever want - maybe he doesn't realise that it could actually happen. xx

 

[Mrs_N]

ooooh the way he's gone about it would really annoy me - why is it they think they are so hard done by when they can't drink for a few weeks?!
Grr, having read your last post I would totally put my foot down!

Maybe he needs a bit of a reality check - I know a lot of men don't really get that baby can come anytime in the last month - they think it's all about the due date!

 

[ttc_lolly]

Oh my days!!! So he didn't even ask!? You found out through Facebook!? And his pal said WHAAAATT!? No no no no no and NO!!! Defo not acceptable!! x

 

[Pearls18]

No I wouldn't be happy with that! My OH is based 2.5 hours away from my hospital and I'm stressed enough about that, but it can't be helped, if he was at home with me I wouldn't let him go further than an hour away if possible lol!!!!

And as for the drinking- NO WAY.

You are term now, he should be around not only in case you go into labour but to be your slave haha. No but seriously you're not over-reacting, I think it's very selfish of him to consider it and you should put your foot down. x

 

[amy1234]

You aren't being unreasonable.
Can't you turn it around and ask him how he would feel if he misses it as there is no guarantee.
Failing that fake a lot of twinges between now and Friday ;-)

 

[Mrs IKW]

I wouldnt like him going away closer to the end but my OH is going to the UK (we live in Spain) for 4 nights when Im nearly 34 weeks but he has no choice as its for an exhibition for our own business so one of us has to go and obviously I cant!

I just hope LO doesnt decide to come really early as my Mum and Dad live in the UK although I have friends and my MIL nearby...

 

[lexi88]

Ok goin away no i would let him
(Karl lives 2 hours away)
But for a piss up NOPE not when im full term ..
If u go into labour u can just call him to come back 2 hours aint that long but if he drinks he wouldnt be able to come back would he.
men are thick!