Do you qualify for this section?

[Mynxie]

We've been TTC since March 2005. I fell pregnant straight away....then MCd. My AFs are unpredictable and that's all because of a neuro condition that I got when I was 19, - it stops me ovulating reguarly. Over 3 years TTC and 3 MCs later and nothing but alot of heartache and a few baby clothes stashed in the wardrobe still, to show for it, and of course meeting some lovely ladies and making friends along the way

 

[FJL]

All of you girls belong in here!

I think I might have re-phrased the title of this thread wrong. I didn't mean to actually ASK you if you belonged it was more of a post for those who wonder if they qualify and I just wanted to point out that if you've been trying 12months +, and as AG said undergoing AC regardless of time, that you do belong.

Tricia - I have a very good friend who has had 4 consecutive m/c's over 2 years and I definitely consider her a LTTTC'er! Basically LTTTC'er is anyone that hasn't acheived or maintained a pregnancy in 12 months. And for women over 35 help should be sought after 6 months.

 

[magicvw]

:wave:

Hi girls. I really don't know if I qualify for this section as I already have a lo? Actually the heart-ache is bigger for me with ttc no2 as we were just kind of leaving it up to mother nature the first time round and i wasn't at all obsessed with ttc. It took 10 months. With no.2 we've been trying for 17 cycles now and I have been treated for low progesterone but not responding to the treatment so far, so going thru tests this month... and i have been totally obsesses and unable to think about anything else for so long now. It's much worse than my ttc1 even though i know i *can* get pg, to me it just feels like I *could* get pg, that particular month, and it hasn't made no2 any easier!

I just get the feeling that most girls on here are ttc no.1 and going thru the frustrations that comes with it... is there room in here for those with secondary infertility (as they call it!) and are there any others out there like me? (I feel a bit lonely in here tbh!)

 

[FEDup1981]

Another thing i'd like to suggest and i'm sure lots of the girls will back me up on this, is that if you AREN'T LTTTCer please don't post in here!!!

I think you are wrong to say that if you are not a LTTTCer you shouldnt post in this section. People come here because they are looking for advice and they know that the best people to ask are those who have been TTC for a long time, as those are the ones who are all clued up and can help.

I understand that women who are fertile who post advice can be upsetting, but people are only trying to offer support and help.

Though im sure people wont come where they arent wanted.

(just my opinion.)

 

[FJL]

^ Support is fine...help from fertiles...that is something we DON'T need.

I don't see why beginner TTC'ers need to post questions in here. If they're approaching 12 months than that is different but I personally don't want someone who has been TTC for say 3 months to come and ask questions...most questions can be answered in normal TTC area.

I'm guessing you aren't a LTTTC'er and therefore don't know where i'm coming from.

It seems to be very common place and courtesy on other forums to not post where you may upset others. Eg, and IVF forum I am a member of has a 'veterans of IVF' section. These are for women who have had failed cycle after cycle after cycle. Of course i'm not a vet so I don't post in there - it is for vets only.

After the post that was made in CS's thread just made me so angry I had to do this thread. I don't care if someone is just trying to help...when they say hurtful things they AREN'T helping and I don't give a damn what their intentions were.

Just MY opinion.

 

[Halle71]

I am not LTTC but have posted in this forum a couple of times. The first was when a member asked if anyone had any positive IUI stories and I mentioned my best friend who now has a 6 month old baby conceived with IUI after 3 years TCC. I think I also mentioned her when someone asked abut flying after IUI because I went to Thailand with her when she was pregnant but before she had tested.
I have also posted in this forum on a post about the recent findings that soya can cause infertility because I had an article with me at work that explained why.
Rather than banning anyone who is not LTTC maybe there could be little discretion - perhaps keeping comments to factual information rather than emotional support which tries to compare TCC with LTTC. This way useful advice and positive stories (for example) can be shared without upsetting people with insensitive or innappropriate comments.
Just a thought and I will obviously observe whatever is decided.
Hx

 

[HoneySunshine]

Hello.

My name is Honey and Im a LTTTCer!

Im 25, married and we've had 2mc, since last mc (Nov 06) we've been trying ttc for a further 23 months now, so all abit depressing! Af got me yesterday 4days early and I manage to convince myself Im pregnant each month!
So always disappointed for at least 2 weeks a month (statistically Im disappointed 50% of the time)

Well a little about me, Ok, I had PID when I was 18, still unsure how I got it, but it wasnt nice and it has scarred my tubes nicely, also when I was 21 I got diagnosed with cervical cancer cells which I had removed using an acid treatment. Ok, Since then Ive conceived twice, but got to 7 weeks with 1 and 9 with the last. Since then we've had no luck. We are still trying though! Im waiting on Dr's etc, as you do! Im hoping for a dye test, apparently, to see if my tubes are blocked, failing that it's gonna be the ivf route. We are giving ourselves another 6 months of trying though.

Well there we go, Im looking forward to joining you Ladies! Im a member of 'team Pingu' - cycles buddies, and everyone is very supportive with the daily ins and outs of ttc, but it will be nice to be able to talk to someone who understands the pain of LT conception.

Thanks! Sorry for such a long post...Ill go and have a look at some of your threads now

xx xx

 

[FJL]

I am not LTTC but have posted in this forum a couple of times. The first was when a member asked if anyone had any positive IUI stories and I mentioned my best friend who now has a 6 month old baby conceived with IUI after 3 years TCC. I think I also mentioned her when someone asked abut flying after IUI because I went to Thailand with her when she was pregnant but before she had tested.
I have also posted in this forum on a post about the recent findings that soya can cause infertility because I had an article with me at work that explained why.
Rather than banning anyone who is not LTTC maybe there could be little discretion - perhaps keeping comments to factual information rather than emotional support which tries to compare TCC with LTTC. This way useful advice and positive stories (for example) can be shared without upsetting people with insensitive or innappropriate comments.
Just a thought and I will obviously observe whatever is decided.
Hx

Exactly, I completely agree!

I'm not a mod, I can't make rules, only suggestions.

I think anyone (as I said in my OP) can post in here for support, or as you pointed out Halle, to answer questions about treatments if you've had or know of someone who has had experience. And it goes without saying that LTTTC'ers that are pg or have had their baby(ies) such as Helen and AG are wonderful to be a part of this section, they're inspirational to all of us still waiting and they're a wealth on knowledge.

All i'm saying that general fertiles who think they can give us advice when they know nothing about LTTTC or new TTC'ers with questions that can be posted in TTC shouldn't really post in here. Just MY opinion.

Welcome Sunshine

 

[Wobbles]

I understood what you meant hun.

Although I have had problems in the past I sometimes feel awkward posting here and I own the forum

I think there does need to be some guidelines for this section but how to go about it is a different story - I will have a think & please PM me with any ideas, pointers, etc.

x

 

[FJL]

Thanks Wobs

You know when I was checking this thread for new replies and saw your name, I immediately realised that I forgot to put your name with Helen and AG! You have had one hell of a rough road to get to where you are I for one (not that I can tell the owner of the forum what to do ) think you most certainly have every right to post in here.

As I said about AG and Helen, your journey is one that we can all draw strength from and find inspiration

I will definitely have a go of thinking up guidlines and will PM. I don't want to sound like i'm chasing people off or anything but I just find some posts a bit hard to swallow and feel that they don't belong in here. Again, just want to clarify that this doesn't include posts from LTTTC'ers (including LTTTC'ers pre or post pg or baby) which again are those trying for 12 months + without success.

 

[Wobbles]

I know you don't mean bad FJL ...I think those who can relate to this section will understand more where as others as you know find it hard to grasp which is natural so thats why there needs to be guidelines.

I once stopped the signatures in here like I did in the MC section but I had some feedback from LTTTC'ers to put them back so I did but did ask for people to have a bit of common sense in their posts as you can disable the signature yourself in replies < something I know will be added.

Don't worry x

 

[Arcanegirl]

One thing that maybe an idea it to disable siggys like in the mc section?

Edit: we posted at the same time wobbs lol

 

[Wobbles]

Someone pointed out its nice to see other peoples tickers and of course see things like count down tickers, fertility friend links, appointments etc

 

[Arcanegirl]

What about making it restricted like girly sanctuary?

 

[Wobbles]

Thought about it but a few cons to it!

 

[FJL]

Its really hard isn't it?!?

For me personally, i'd love it if only LTTTC'ers posted, but i'm sure other girls like the support from everyone...me personally, I just prefer LTTTC'ers - I hope that doesn't sound snobby, but just how I feel.

I think it is hard to make rules because what one person doesn't like, another does. I personally would like it if fertiles turned off their siggies so we didn't see their preg tickers but again, to me that would only go for regular TTC. Eg, I love seeing AGs ticker! I like the idea of keeping siggies available but mainly just so you can see where other LTTTC'ers are up to.

I really like the idea of LTTTC being a private section (such as girly sanc) and to be able to post you must be LTTTC'er, but i'm sure there are problems that come with that that I wouldn't be aware of.

Wobs, I have no idea how you will come up with rules, you have your work cut out for you

I just really appreciate you listening to what i've said and trying to figure out a way to change things

 

[Arcanegirl]

Its really hard isn't it?!?

For me personally, i'd love it if only LTTTC'ers posted, but i'm sure other girls like the support from everyone...me personally, I just prefer LTTTC'ers - I hope that doesn't sound snobby, but just how I feel.

Doesnt sound snobby at all.

I can agree to a point, the LTTTC'ers understand more but i had friends who wernt under the same catagory who were very supportive.

Tis a difficult one for sure

 

[NeyNey]

Yeah, I do see the point. I honestly do. But even in early days I was around friends who were LTTTC'ers and I found (or hoped) that even though DH and I were still in the early stage of TTC we could still relate and sympathise with what they felt. I remember crying with a friend who got a BFP after 6 years of trying and I never felt so happy in all my life for someone like I did for her. At that point I think we'd been officially trying for around 6 months.


So it's hard. I think people need to take more responsibility for their comments. We aren't a forum of teenagers or people with no sense. We're adults and I think we should have enough knowledge or others to know if a comment will hurt or offend someone and just not say it.

Well...in my opinion anyhow lol

 

[Helen]

Maybe you could say anyone is welcome to post here but there are certain posts that will offend such as:
1. telling someone to just relax
2. why don't you adopt
3. take a holiday
4. etc., etc.

So a set of guidelines rather than rules? I'm sure we could expand on them... "before posting in this section please read this".

I think it'd be a shame to hide the tickers. LTTCers have valid and interesting tickers too.

Maybe include that wording from "the Wayward Stork". It's meant to be about IVFers but I think it applies to anyone on a long and/or difficult TTC journey.

 

[hayley352]

Another thing i'd like to suggest and i'm sure lots of the girls will back me up on this, is that if you AREN'T LTTTCer please don't post in here!!!

I think you are wrong to say that if you are not a LTTTCer you shouldnt post in this section. People come here because they are looking for advice and they know that the best people to ask are those who have been TTC for a long time, as those are the ones who are all clued up and can help.

I understand that women who are fertile who post advice can be upsetting, but people are only trying to offer support and help.

Though im sure people wont come where they arent wanted.

(just my opinion.)

i completely agree with this, i think it is wrong to dictate who can post where and when, i myself have posted in the first tri!!!

i have not been trying to concieve for a year and i post in this section all the time, i think people should be able to offer advice and support as they wish and it is not down to anyone to tell them not to.