do you think there is a reason?

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by miel, Oct 27, 2008.

  1. miel

    miel Married to an amazing guy

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    why for some of us the road of ttc is soooooo long?

    or what it's meant to be is meant to be...

    still never thought it will happen to us !
     
  2. Tishimouse

    Tishimouse Fairy Godmother - really!

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    I know. I am still in denial that I will soon reach the end of the road due to my age. And there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it.

    It even makes it difficult to be happy for others at times and even a little impatient when I read about complaints from pregnant women. Sentiments I have a problem with, because I prefer to be happy for people rather than feel sorry for myself. Still, we're only human.
     
  3. Maple Leaf

    Maple Leaf Guest

    Ah Miel....wish I could come and give you a GREAT BIG HUG!
    I for one am a great believer in fate, and things happening for a reason...
    You just have to perservere with it.
    Mother Nature makes no sense, but when the time is right it will happen.
    Dont stop Believing, you will be a great mom one day and appreciate it all the more for the time it has taken, like I said before lets hope its the LUCKY 13th!
    November is a great month to get a :bfp:!!!
    :hug:
     
  4. Farie

    Farie Well-Known Member

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    Meil - its weird and horrid isn't it, there seems to be no rhyme or reason for it, I hate the fact we can do everything right and it still not happen, my mother is a great one for saying 'it will happen when it's meant to' :hissy: I know she means well but WTF is that supposed to mean!!!
    I guess it's just a physical lottery ... we have to be strong and positive and focus on the success stories out there.
     
  5. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    I don't know, Miel. Like so many things it just doesn't make sense and is completely unfair. So many are lucky enough to get :bfp: right out of the gates... then there are those of us trying 6 months with nothing but :bfn:s... and then there are those of you, trying more than a year. ](*,)

    I don't know if I believe in fate... more of me doesn't, I think. "Meant to be" only makes sense or makes me feel better when it is about positive things. I don't like the idea of "NOT meant to be" when it comes to TTC. And I don't feel like I can subscribe to "meant to be" if I can't subscribe to the other. As far as I am concerned, if "NOT meant to be" applies to you or I or any other deserving couple, then someone/thing is being mean on purpose. I don't like the feel of that.:grr:

    Instead, I think it's about chance. Which sucks, cuz we don't have much control. We are at the cruel mercy of CHANCE. Whether that means we do/don't get pg this month or can/can't get pg at all... it's chance. :growlmad:

    All we can do is everything possible to keep our spirits up and increase our chances. Your Nov. 12th appt will do exactly that for you. Remember, you have been trying for a very long time... BUT there are many treatments out there that HELP and WORK and one may be just around the corner for you!!! :happydance:

    :hug::hug:
     
  6. Sambatiki

    Sambatiki Finally a Mummy!!

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    I wish I had the answer to that one hun. Esp when I see soooo many deserving ladies here. All I know is that when our children are here they will be the most treasured miracles ever. :hug:
     
  7. miel

    miel Married to an amazing guy

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    well....let say i go to my appoitment and they see something that must be fix before i can conceive ...i will look back and see my past 13 cycles with my past perfectly time BD session ...i will be piss that the system make me wait the full year because that just the way it's is and they think some women are meant to wait 12 month before conceiving ....

    i know i will have a baby ...i won't give up ...i just didn't think i was going to wait so long for it ...
     
  8. Arcanegirl

    Arcanegirl Bazinga!!

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    :hugs: guys
    Even after getting my bfp i havent found an answer for why it took so long
     
  9. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    I totally agree with that. Stupid system! :hissy:

    I'm suprised they have made you wait so long, though. I know the standard is a year if you're under 35, but that assumes you aren't doing all the other things to help (like BBT, opks, etc). I feel lucky I found the doc I did. He was going to make me wait a year, but when he realized I started charting from c1, he's only going to make me wait 6 months.

    Either way, the last 13 cycles haven't been a total waste. I'm sure you've learned a lot about yourself! Small silver lining anyway. :)
     
  10. Barneyboo

    Barneyboo Mummy of 2 beauty's

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    Just thought I would let you know this story:


    When I was trying to conceive over 5 years ago, I have a friend who had been trying for approx 1 1/2 years I had listened to all the ups and downs she had :sex: at the right time took her temps etc etc! Then I walks in after 7 cycles and yes it was a :bfp:for me I could see on her face and only feel now after my 2 m/c what it must have felt like deep down to be happy for me but at the same time gutted:cry:.

    When I gave birth to my son she came to visit me and basically didn't know at that time she was preggers :happydance:gave birth to healthy little girl and thought because of the amount of time it took her to conceive she would get to work straight away...well it took just 3 cycles how fantastic is that and now has another healthy baby girl.... :hug::hug:
     
  11. tansey

    tansey Finally a Mummy!

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    I feel just like Tish! :(
    Also like you say Miel - if you find out something is wrong you've had to wait all that time to find out, and if there's nothing wrong, you're still have to wait and keep trying???

    Please send the patience fairy my way! :blush:
     
  12. miel

    miel Married to an amazing guy

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    but if do find out nothing is wrong it must somewhat relieve some pressure of it ...a little...
    of course like AG said they never find out what was wrong with them either...but she did go with IVF i believe and she got her BFP in the second attempt ...:) so some how something was happening with them that was no making it possible to concieve naturally? ....
    what you think AG?


    oh and Tansey !!! be patience Darling it's coming !!!
     
  13. chefamy1122

    chefamy1122 hating infertility

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    Big :hug: to everyone.
     
  14. Arcanegirl

    Arcanegirl Bazinga!!

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    I do wonder this alot but i have never figure it out, i dont know. Maybe one day i will figure it out
     
  15. miel

    miel Married to an amazing guy

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    well you got your bean now...the answer can't wait ...:hugs:SECOND SEMESTER!!!!!!:happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:
     
  16. please08

    please08 Dolly, Dinkie & The Bump

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    Girls if I hear.........Stop stressing and it will happen...once more I won't be held responsible to what I'll do, I know my friends mean well but for Fsake I don't feel like I'm stressing of course but LIFE IS ONE BIG STRESS anyway not amind TTC.........Stress is blamed on everything that can't be diagnosed if you ask me, so Foff (in the nicest possible way) I ain't stressing I'm just missing out on the time I wanna dedicate to our child :(

    My friend is getting married in 2.5 wk's she's just 3 months pregnant after trying for the last 8 years she feels the wedding took her mind off trying and she became pregnant it took my Mum 13 years on my little bro......so she's the best when talking to me as she know's so well how it feels like every month, I try keep strong when speaking to her know as she's an angel and feels every bit of pain we feel, and an awful worrier so I keep saying era Mum it'll happen soon when inside I'm like Oh Mum why not me :( heading back to Ireland in 3 wk's then NewYork 4 wk's later, sounds silly but I'd love to be goin over and bring back baby things, Oh Girlies sorry for the rant, just got all carried away :( I'm only 8 months trying I know most of yee are so much longer, Miel I know I don't know you, but I talk about you to my OH pass 4 months I'm like gotta pop on to see if Miel got her BFP I pray it's gonna be sooner rather than later for us all girlies xxxx BTW My Mum was 40 when she got her last BFP (tryin for 13 yrs) an my aunt was 46 so that gives us all hope xxxxxxx
     
  17. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    Yes, it will happen for us, too! :dust:
     
  18. please08

    please08 Dolly, Dinkie & The Bump

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    Feel so teary today, reading posts an tears are flooding down :( She's def on her way :(

    We're so lucky we've got each other on here to talk to other's just don't understand XXX

    Really wanna thank all yee girls xxxx
     
  19. missmarls

    missmarls Well-Known Member

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    I think what bothers me is people saying "well, maybe it's because you waited so long"! Seriously? I'm only 32 years old and I wanted to be financially stable, married with my own home before I ttc. That is my own thing, I have many friends that had children early on and are wonderful parents but I made a decision to do what is right for me and don't feel it is fair to basically say it's my fault for waiting so long. All I know is that when I have my child I will love that baby more than I thought was possible...my struggle will be worth it for that reason alone :)
     
  20. miel

    miel Married to an amazing guy

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    i completely agree...this no one fault ...it's just life...
    but i will just add...i started ttc at 32 too ( now 33 going 34 in april) for the same reason that you ...wait because i own my business etc wanted to wait ...but i will say this i don't regret of waiting because i was happy in those years not trying to get pegnant...but i will say stress wise ...i thought if i was going to have a baby younger it will to much stress etc...now looking back i do think it will have being a better stress for me dealing with a baby /money/business etc...that dealing with THIS stress of ttc for 13 cycles and still wonder ?...if you know what i mean ?
     

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