do you think there is a reason?

[ktsl123]

You know ladies sometimes I wonder why it takes some people so long to conceive and I think that it is just a role of the dice is all.To me it's not about things being meant to be because I do not believe in that idea. All we can do is live our lives as happy as we can live them and just let it happen. I really think not focusing on it works too as much as you don't want to believe it everything effects out bodies. Our bodies can be easily effected so stressing out about it will not do anything for you. I am trying to just let it happen and in the meantime try to improve other aspects of my life. Like getting together with my Girlfriends at least once a week and doing something fun. I am also enjoying remodeling my home.

 

[KandKsMama]

I am reading all your stories and nodding remembering what it was like. Before I met my husband I was with my ex for 3 years (he lives in the UK and I am in the US). We were TTC for the whole time we were together. He would come for the max time (6 weeks) leave and come back again in two months. So basically we were together for 8-10 months in total, but never got pg.
Years ago when I was 16 my doctor said based on my description of AF she would suggest I get tested for endo. I refused as she stated there was the chance I would never conceive and I flat out didn't want to hear that I would never have children. Before my UK BF I was with a man for 4 years and we didn't try/didn't prevent and then tried for a year and never got pg. I figured after those two relationships that my doctors unconfirmed diagnosis was true and I would either be looking at a long road of infertility treatments to get pg or never get pg at all.
I met my husband in the beginning of April 2006. I had just taken a new job and would be starting in the beginning of May and having a child had been the furthest from my mind. I told myself I would save money and move out of my families home and try and buy my own home. My first day at my new job I felt very sick but hadn't been feeling well for several days and assumed I caught a bug and went home to lay down, I woke up feeling awesome. Several days later I realized I hadn't gotten AF (and despite a normal 28 day cycle) thought I was getting onto my co-workers cycle (3 females in a small office it tends to happen). Since I had just started my new job and didn't get a check for 3 weeks and my savings was gone from my previous crappy job I had no money to POAS and again I was still just figuring it was stress and getting onto their cycles.
When May ended and still no AF and still no pay I contacted a local free womens clinic to go in and test. They had me pee in a cup and in my head I was like this is such a waste of time, I must be infertile. While we waited the woman talked to me about what if I am pregnant and I said the timing is off but I would be so very happy. When she picked up the test I was really expecting her to say not pregnant that I almost fell off my chair when she said it was positive. I was by this point I believe 2-2.5 months along and beyond happy.
After Khloe's birth we decided that since it had taken me so long to have her, at four months PP to try for our second baby. Shockingly enough we conceived first cycle and now have Khloe who is 21 months old and Keira who is 8 months old. We have now been trying since July for #3 but just got my AF back in Sept due to breastfeeding.
I know you have been told not to stress or not to think about getting pg, but I am proof that it can happen. The one time it was out of my mind it happened and it seems to have shocked my fertility back into place.
I also have a friend whose parents couldn't conceive so they had given up hope on having their own child and decided to adopt a family members baby. Once everything was ready and the papers had been finalized her mother wasn't feeling well, went to the doctors and turns out she had conceived roughly the same time they had stopped trying and decided to adopt.

 

[Nathyrra]

I find myself asking the same question all the time.

I'm nearing the time I should get a period. I say should cos this is the first month I am not taking pills to bring on a period. I can already feel myself deflated, as I know already I'm not pregnant this month, and know already I wont bleed either. So frustrating.

I'm not a religious person at all, so don't buy into the whole 'god has a plan' stuff. Sometimes I believe in fate, because in retrospect when bad things happen to me I think they turn out in the end the way that was best. Though not sure how this philosophy fits into TTC. Luck is the game of making babies.

I know there's something wrong with my body, I hate being fobbed off by the doctors, I don't want to wait for tests. I know I should be having them now >.<

I dearly hope that oneday we will all look back on the posts we make now and smile to ourselves with our babies on our knees!

 

[missmarls]

I think what bothers me is people saying "well, maybe it's because you waited so long"! Seriously? I'm only 32 years old and I wanted to be financially stable, married with my own home before I ttc. That is my own thing, I have many friends that had children early on and are wonderful parents but I made a decision to do what is right for me and don't feel it is fair to basically say it's my fault for waiting so long. All I know is that when I have my child I will love that baby more than I thought was possible...my struggle will be worth it for that reason alone

i completely agree...this no one fault ...it's just life...
but i will just add...i started ttc at 32 too ( now 33 going 34 in april) for the same reason that you ...wait because i own my business etc wanted to wait ...but i will say this i don't regret of waiting because i was happy in those years not trying to get pegnant...but i will say stress wise ...i thought if i was going to have a baby younger it will to much stress etc...now looking back i do think it will have being a better stress for me dealing with a baby /money/business etc...that dealing with THIS stress of ttc for 13 cycles and still wonder ?...if you know what i mean ?

I definately know what you mean, I think for me it helps knowing my parents waited and my maternal grandparents waited until their 30's to have children..so my parents are quite supportive of my choice and respect the fact we wanted to be financially stable.Although, had I been diagnosed with endo when I was younger, I would have stayed on the pill until I was TTC!! I've now been off BCP for eight years so endo has been having it's way with me for a long time!

 

[Suz]

Im one of those "Everything happens for a reason" kinda girls. So there has to be a reason why I dont have a baby yet. And I also believe it will happen someday and somehow when the time is right

 

[applegirl]

Just thought I would let you know this story:


When I was trying to conceive over 5 years ago, I have a friend who had been trying for approx 1 1/2 years I had listened to all the ups and downs she had at the right time took her temps etc etc! Then I walks in after 7 cycles and yes it was a for me I could see on her face and only feel now after my 2 m/c what it must have felt like deep down to be happy for me but at the same time gutted.

When I gave birth to my son she came to visit me and basically didn't know at that time she was preggers gave birth to healthy little girl and thought because of the amount of time it took her to conceive she would get to work straight away...well it took just 3 cycles how fantastic is that and now has another healthy baby girl....

Boobaby - how lovely of you to share this story. It is great to get positive encouragement from the other side, of women who have got their joy after years of trying.

 

[Vestirse]

I don't really have anything to add, but I'm so damned glad to know I am not alone. Sometimes that alone is enough for me, so thank you to all of you.

 

[miel]

I don't really have anything to add, but I'm so damned glad to know I am not alone. Sometimes that alone is enough for me, so thank you to all of you.

so true darling !

 

[emilyandkai]

I get scared sometimes that maybe I wont ever have another child and then i feel lucky to have kai but it don't stop the longing for another so bad.
I have started looking at pregnant women and feeling like crying.
We havent been trying long compared to some, but it seems like agessss and everytime I see that witch has come. Its just the crappest worst feeling ever isnt it.

 

[laura2412]

I don't really have anything to add, but I'm so damned glad to know I am not alone. Sometimes that alone is enough for me, so thank you to all of you.

I love this comment. Sometimes I feel like I am alone. My oh has the attitude that it will happen when it will happen but doesnt understand the concept of opks and all the rest of it. I have no one to really talk too but this website makes me feel at ease too knowing im not the only one.
Im so scared of there being something wrong with me, I get soo annoyed and frustrated sometimes because of it all and start thinking if things could be only different.
Today I went to work, Im a Manager for ORange Broadband retentions and had a girl who went home early yesterday. I wasnt at work yesterday but caught up with her today, distraught and upset at the thought she was pregnant but doesnt dare to test. She told me that if this is the case she may not keep it as shes not stable enough etc. I know because of my job I cant judge but Inside I wanted to be her right now. I would swap lives.
I hate TTC now its no fun at all and I feel more pressured everymonth. Im soo down someone throw me a life line,
Thanks for taking time to read this. I know im not the only one to us all and plenty of baby dust. Love to us ladies. x

 

[miel]

i decided after suffering a other bad AF this cycle ...i must have something that why i don't get my BFP ...my AF are so bad !!!
i am lining toward endromatrios for me...i think that my reason...

 

[dizzy65]

yeah it is hard for sure

 

[TigerLady]

i decided after suffering a other bad AF this cycle ...i must have something that why i don't get my BFP ...my AF are so bad !!!
i am lining toward endromatrios for me...i think that my reason...

Maybe you are right, Miel. My coworker just got treated for that and what she described was very similar to you. The good news is she felt better just a few days after tx... she already has one son and they say she can try for another! Brighter days are fast approaching!