Do you think this is harsh?

[Weeplin]

I have a very low income and whenever we want something that doesnt come under the normal daily needs I generally sell stuff so I can buy whatever it is.

I am selling a few of Jasons toys to buy him more interesting and useful toys. Aimee knows this and knows what he is getting. She asked me how come he gets new toys and I tell her the truth which she accepts.

The thing is there is this set from the disney store she says she really wants but I cannot afford to buy her it outright. We are getting a bit cash at the end of the month but she needs shoes and a haircut which will come out of that.

She mentions it to her daddy and of course he quickly puts her straight and says she cannot get it because we have no pennies and if she wants a new toy she will have to sell one of her things like I do with Jason.

This made me feel so guilty, I was hoping there would be enough left off what I make off ebay but I don't think there will be.

The toy she picked to sell she just got for christmas from her nan. She doesnt play with it but It just feels wrong for her to have to do this.

She wanted me to advertise it whilst she was out with her dad so maybe it would sell today but I havent because I want to talk it over with her again.

She is only 6 but can be very grown up and understanding about these things.

As I was growing up if I wanted something and my mum didnt have the cash I just didnt get it. Full stop.

My OH on the other hand was brought up like this. He sold stuff to get stuff.

What do you honestly think? Is it harsh? Or an important life lesson?

 

[freckleonear]

I actually think it's fantastic. If only more children were taught not to take things for granted! I think it'll teach her a lot of valuable lessons for later in life.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I think it's a very good idea. Kids these days are way too spoilt imo. Teaching her that mmoney isn't endless is excellent. She seems to understand how it works and she is willing to accept it. Unfortunately we aren't all well off and I think it's great that she learns that now so she can carry it on as life lesson

 

[Weeplin]

Thanks for your replies. She is home now and I asked her again about 5 times and she still wants to sell her toy. She actually got a bit cross at me asking her if she was sure!

Its good to know that you don't think it is harsh, I think sometimes I just feel guilty even if its for their own good!

 

[moomin_troll]

growing up i always knew my mum couldnt afford much and this was without her even talking to me about it i was just very observent. but on the other hand my sister was very selfish and was like i want i want but id say no i dont want anything.

i always got great presents at my bday and xmas so i knew id have to wait till then, i wouldnt just get something on a normal day.

ur not being harsh at all, i cant stand these brats who get what they want becuase they cry loud enough. its nice to hear about a young girl who understands

 

[nicholatmn]

growing up i always knew my mum couldnt afford much and this was without her even talking to me about it i was just very observent. but on the other hand my sister was very selfish and was like i want i want but id say no i dont want anything.

i always got great presents at my bday and xmas so i knew id have to wait till then, i wouldnt just get something on a normal day.

ur not being harsh at all, i cant stand these brats who get what they want becuase they cry loud enough. its nice to hear about a young girl who understands

It's like you took the words right out of my mouth!

 

[Minstermind]

Agreed with everyone else. It's a great way to teach them the value of their things and to really think whether they'd like one thing over another. I think it's wonderful that she has the chance to make these decisions herself and has the chance to even access the much desired toy, because as you say, some families don't even have this option at all and their children wouldn't get a toy full stop! So don't feel harsh about it, she's being given the tools to think about and weigh what she'd rather have, and have some control over this process, and I think that's great.

 

[nikkip75]

no i dont think its harsh either because this is exactly what we do with our kids!

i have a 14 year old who asks for things like new ipods and phones and we tell her if she really wants it she can either wait for her birthday or christmas or sell her old phones/books/dvds and then she can make her own money to buy what she wants.

ive even started doing it with our 4 year old, she keeps asking for a vtech camera so told her we will have a clear out of all her teddys and toys she doesnt want anymore and she can then have the new camera. She thinks its great! its like having a little shop she says

you are teaching them the value of money and im just sat here watching supernanny trying to sort out a 9 year old with a wardrobe of over £3000 worth of clothes! i think that is wrong

 

[suzib76]

i also think its good for kids to understand these things, i am in a diff position to you as we can and do buy our kids things just because - however i dont believe that simply makes them spoilt - they certainly dont get because they have shouted for it, and they dont get brand new thibgs every day of the week - but sometimes i do just buy them a new toy

but on the other hand they understand buying and selling, i have done car boots with them, and last year my 6 year old sold all his ds games on ebay as he no longer needed them

yes it teaches a valuable lesson

just one thougt though.....how would nan feel about her selling a toy she has very recently bought her?

 

[Weeplin]

i also think its good for kids to understand these things, i am in a diff position to you as we can and do buy our kids things just because - however i dont believe that simply makes them spoilt - they certainly dont get because they have shouted for it, and they dont get brand new thibgs every day of the week - but sometimes i do just buy them a new toy

but on the other hand they understand buying and selling, i have done car boots with them, and last year my 6 year old sold all his ds games on ebay as he no longer needed them

yes it teaches a valuable lesson

just one thougt though.....how would nan feel about her selling a toy she has very recently bought her?

I don't always sell stuff to buy stuff. My kids do sometimes get toys just because or Aimee gets one if she has been really good. This is only happening because Jason needed some new things that are in line with his development and Aimee wanted a toy too but my wallet is still trying to recover from christmas.

I understand though, its not always spoiling. Its the best feeling ever when your children are happy.

I don't think her nan would mind. Its actually the Peppa Pig palace. Aimee wanted it but hasn't touched it, she has been playing with Peppa pig since she was 2 and at 6 she is getting more into Bratz and Nintendo. I am sure her nan would want her to have something that she likes than something that is just going to sit in her room. I intend to mention it next time I phone her.

 

[Amy_T]

I think that's great, my daughter, although I wouldn't describe her as a spoilt brat, does get bought more things than I'd like. I know it's my fault but my parents love to spoil her and are in a position where they can buy her things whenever she wants (within reason and not because she stamps her feet and screams or anything!). This is definitely an approach I'm going to take with her though, she's always reluctant to get rid of any of her things so might try the tack that we could get some money and then she'll be able to choose something else.

Well done I say!

 

[un1corn]

My son although not spoilt gets a lot of stuff of his grandma.. he got a xbox360 for xmas 2009 and we do buy him games every now and then if he gets bored with the ones he has he needs to sell a couple to make the cash to buy a different one and if there is not enough money to buy the one he wants he has to do chores to make up the difference.. if he is being arsy and doesnt want to do the chores then it just takes a lot longer to save up and get what he wants!!

Its not harsh at all.. my niece is so spoilt it is unbelieveable.. she just expects everything she wants and woe betide the person who doesnt buy it!!

 

[KA92]

great idea!!!

my mum only just started making alot of money the past few years, im 17 almost 18 and have been earning my own tiny wage since 14

she taught us the value of money from when i was 5, if we ever wanted somethng we had to work for it, help her out or find a way to get it ourselves

like i said im now 17 and try not to take money from mum, she pays my food and the bills as i live with her but anything else is my choice to get(admittedly now she does give me my older sister whos 20 in may and my younger brother treats as we never had these when younger)

i think it great and also from reading this i can tell your dd is very mature, youv got a wee business woman on your hands right there!

xx

 

[besterd]

I don't think this is harsh at all. I can understand this must be difficult for you not being able to give her what she wants. Every parent wants to give their children everything they can but the child must learn to think for themselves.

When I was young my parents gave me my pocket money every month and if I wanted something I just had to save for it. I can't tell you how glad I am today for them doing that. In the process I have learned how to manage my money to the cent!

So don't feel bad when one of your children wants something and you can't give it. See it as you are teaching them an important life lesson!

 

[Weeplin]

Thanks for all your replies. Aimee has sold her toy and is happy about it. She says she likes the toy but doesn't want to play with it anymore so why not sell it to a little girl who will love it more.

She is patiently waiting for wednesday so she can buy her new toy (they are out of stock until wednesday) although she has spent £3 of it on a Street Fighter game for her Gameboy

 

[Eelis]

Weepin I think what you are doing is a great idea, I will be introducing this to mine as soon as she starts asking!

 

[JuicyLucy]

I agree with what's been said.. I don't think you're being harsh at all. x

 

[Lacrosse]

I think that's great teaching! It reminds me of when my 2nd wanted something really badly. We said he had to save all his pennies for it, so he could buy it. Thought it would encourage him to save! I forgot about it. Well, sitting in the car one day, a while afterwards, waiting from somebody, I turned around and there was blood pouring out of his mouth. I asked him if he'd banged it, and he said no, but he'd been trying to pull his tooth out, because he just needed 10p more for his lego he was saving up for, and the tooth fairy would bring 10p, if he had a tooth to put under his pillow that night!!!!

 

[Baber326]

I also think that you are doing the right thing. My niece does the same thing with her 9 yr.old. He knows that money doesn't grow on trees and truly takes care of his toys because he earns them and also sells his toys to get new things.He is a well adjusted kid and is learning the value of money. Keep up the good work.

 

[Weeplin]

Thanks for the support! She sold her toy, got a good price but unfortunately the shop had sold out of the toy she had wanted to buy so she bought something else. She isn't missing her sold toy at all!