Hi All, I have my Doctors Appointment tomorrow and feeling a little emotional. Some of you may be aware that i lost my baby at 23 weeks in April this year which was totally unexpected and left me and my family devasted beyond belief. I have 3 healthy children with no problems during pregnancy at all. Discovering i was pregnant again left me with mixed emotions, mainly feeling a fear of loosing this one too. It took me a while to tell my husband and like me he is scared too. WE have been unable to face telling anyone else about the pregnancy in case something goes wrong. According to my dates i am currently 9+ weeks and i guess the reason for my message here is that i am accepting the fact that it will become real tomorrow when i visit the doctor to arrange for my care. I have decided that i dont want to go back to the same hospital where i lost my angel purely on an emotional level. I feel its such a shame that i am not sharing this pregnancy with the people around me, we havent even told our other children yet. I should be shouting it from the roof tops like any expectant mother would do but i am taking each day as a day successfully completed and not focusing on the end result. I cannot even look to the end result incase my hopes and dreams are dashed again. Hopefully my feelings will change in the next few weeks, perhaps when i have a scan. I so want to be able to enjoy and embrace my baby. Ofcourse i adore him/her already but i feel like im holding back in fear of being hurt again.