Does my checklist really matter?

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by LovemyBubx, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. LovemyBubx

    LovemyBubx Mummy, Daddy & Daughter

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    :wacko:

    a couple of family members of mine have decided to have another LO next year, neither of them are really in the situation they would want to be in (regarding money, work, space) but kind of have the attitude like 'we want another baby, lets have another baby & everything will sort itself out & we will have to work around things'

    Its just making me think of the checklist me & OH have, is it all really neccesary :wacko: (people get by without a car don't they?)

    Its just annoying thinking im doing the right thing by waiting & things will be easier if we wait & tick everything we want off...blah..blah. & people all around me are now forgetting about waiting & just doing it.

    cant i just have another & not care about what would be best??! :dohh: everything is so confusing.
     
  2. Beccaboop

    Beccaboop Mummy to Jacob

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    I think that sometimes!! I've wanted a baby for about 6 years but I wanted to be married and in our own house first and my husband wanted to go to uni so we had to wait!

    Now we nearly have enough money saved for deposit and then we will be TTC I'm glad we waited I want to give my children the best possible life I can and if we were saving to get married or buy a house or if my husband hadn't gone to uni and got his great job then we would of been struggling for money and I would of felt guilty so yeah I think waiting until the time is right and you are in the best situation to have a baby that's just thinking about your unborn child and not being selfish and having a baby now cos you want one!!

    :D :hug:
     
  3. smawfl

    smawfl Mamma of 2!

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    Me and DH were having this exact conversation last night.

    I think it's because we saw something on TV where there was a (very) young mum who had a baby and said it was all easy and loved being a mum. She found it easy as she had everything handed on a plate to her. Didn't work, probably received benefits, and her parents did everything for her.

    To a certain extent I think I'd like to be "well I want it so should go for it" but I always knew I wanted to be married and have a house first. It's personal views really, morals and upbringing have a lot to do with it too I think.
     
  4. nickibrum

    nickibrum Pregnant #1 - 3rd Tri

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    I think it depends on your check list. For me there are some things I wouldnt budge on and then others where it would be extremely nice but not 100% essential.

    e.g. for me it was very important to save our house deposit before we TTC but upgrading our car is something we can save for while ttc as realitsically its unlikely to happen in the first month.
     
  5. sugarplum_elf

    sugarplum_elf Pregnant with my 1st

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    As people keep telling me, there is NEVER a right time to have a baby. There will always be something; a house, a car, a bigger house, a better car, a holiday..... As long as you can provide a stable environment for a baby (not about to be made redundant or lose your house :nope: or anything) I think everything will be fine. I keep trying to explain this to my OH but I'm not sure he's convinced. When my parents had me they were young and living in a tiny studio but they quickly found their feet and I had the most wonderful childhood with lots of love and I never wanted for anything.
     
  6. toffee87

    toffee87 Well-Known Member

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    I hear ya! We luckily have our own house, but with the economy etc we are skint lol. Our things are: clear the credit card-though with xmas we'll be paying min payments til feb. Get married in June next year and hopefully OH will get a new job closer to home-a quarter of his salary goes on petrol!
     
  7. AngelofTroy

    AngelofTroy Well-Known Member

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    I think checklists have their place, but there is also something to be said for the old 'there'll never be a perfect time' saying. We did have owning our own house on our list. Now we have the deposit but we don't want to buy just yet. Once we're married we'll start TTC, we rent a decent 3 bed house so we're happy to start our family here and buy when we find the perfect place and my OH has found a new job which he's happy to stay in for a long time.
     
  8. goddess25

    goddess25 Well-Known Member

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    There are some things that should be on a checklist, like being in a stable financial position to raise your children and I personally feel that being in a loving stable relationship should be one if your planning on children (obviously accidents happen)

    However I think if you analyse it too much, it will never be the right time. I don't think a car makes much of a difference. I don't drive and yes its a pain, and I am sure it would make my life easier but its definitely not a reason to put it off for me anyway.

    I think it depends on your checklist.

    As long as a child is clothed, fed, warm and loved I don't think there are too many things to rule it out.
     
  9. QTPie

    QTPie Well-Known Member

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    Depends on the obtainability/realisticness of your checklist (especially in the current economic climate) and also your age (I doubt that you are, but if you were heading towards mid-30s, then I wouldn't hang around...).

    I am a very organised person who does think ahead and plan a lot, BUT there are an awful lot of things in life that our outside our control. BUT I do not think that having a baby without thinking through the consequences and accepting them is good either.

    At the end of the day, it is your life and only you can live it (conversely you should not be dwelling on how others choose to live their's). Most difficulties can be overcome or worked around - just depends if you are willing to do that. You also find that priorities/needs change: what you think you need (or is important) isn't actually correct down the line anyway (I am 37 and have seen life take unexpected turns several times...)
     
  10. LovemyBubx

    LovemyBubx Mummy, Daddy & Daughter

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    thankyou for all the replies, my checklist does all seem very important at times

    atm my checklist is:
    Get our own place (obviously no more baby's without this :haha:)
    Get DD a place at nursery & school
    I want to be working full time
    Me or OH to be driving with a decent car
    I would LOVE to be engaged


    I think i need to win the lottery :haha:

    I suppose we all feel different towards certain things e.g. not everyone would find being engaged that important, but to me it really is, just to prove to everyone that me OH & DD will be together for the rest of our lives :cloud9: (boyfriend just doesnt seem permanent enough for me)
     
  11. I Love Lucy

    I Love Lucy DS and DD

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    Personally I think if OH and I kept a checklist of things that we need to do before TTC, we would never be ready. Is anyone ever really 100% ready? I mean there are always going to be things people want to do before trying. As far as OH and I go, if we're still financially able to care for a child after we move then we're going to TTC.
     

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