dogs and babies

[IrishTwins]

So I'll start off by saying I am not an animal person.. I find them just as cute as the next person but that's as far as it goes for me. So I may be bias in asking this Q -

Since I've had my now 4 month old my sister has been trying to warm her small dog up to lo.. The dog always wants to smell and jump up and follow her around when holding lo..

I don't much care for lo warming up to dog as I'm really afraid of a quick nip to lo or bite of some kind.. It's also not my dog so I don't feel lo needs to get adjusted to the dog.. My sister always seems very interested in this happening with lo and doggy - I'll add that my sister got the dog as a rescue and there was significant abuse to doggy.. Doggy still growls when I visit my sister - like 1.5 years later...

Went to a family function yesterday and when I was leaving SIL mentioned that while DH and I were doing other things my sister had doggy licking lo face/mouth whatever..

I won't say anything to my sister about this because she is so defensive about doggy as it is and clearly doesn't care what I think anyway as she knows that I would never say it's ok for dog to lick lo face

Anyway - I figure I'll just go the route of not leaving her alone with lo in future when doggy is there. Is that a complete overreaction?

It annoys me that she doesn't seem to take my fear seriously.. Oddly when I once dropped in and offered to take her doggy for a walk as we were heading to a park she said "no way"... So it's ok for her to be protective of her loved one but my fear is unfounded?

Either way I don't want anyone who licks their own ass to lick my babies face..Period..

Am I wrong to feel this way?

I get how some regard their animals - but I am not one of those people and I am not going to change my stance on that.. If she had a baby her baby wouldn't lick lo face...

I'm busy raising humans and I just don't have the time or patience or inclination to add animals to the mix (I have an indoor/outdoor cat and he doesn't try to touch lo) and I'm just really not an animal person.. Like some people don't much care for babies? I don't much care for raising animals..

 

[auraobie]

You are absolutely right not to leave LO alone with her if she is going to abuse your trust that way.

Regardless of what people think of their dogs, that is completely out of order.

Well done btw, you have been much more polite about the dogs around babies thing than i am able to be...i have to not say anything, because i have nothing nice to say about people who allow dogs around babies/ small children.

 

[IrishTwins]

Oh thank God.. I was beginning to think I am the only one!!!

The crappy part is that visits become really draining - because the whole time I'm worried about a nip or bite or licking of face or something that I'm on edge and can't really enjoy sister spending time with lo..

I know that my sister feels like her dog is her baby - so I've tried to be understanding of that.. I have a complete opposite view of house pets than she does so that likely doesn't help much.

I just know her and that she thinks it's all fluffly and "how cute to have the doggy licking a baby and oh maybe I'll get them to nap together" type stuff.. It's like her way of trying to prove me wrong because I don't agree with trusting dogs around babies..


I'd rather not even go to family events if I have to micromanage and make sure lo isn't being licked..

You are absolutely right not to leave LO alone with her if she is going to abuse your trust that way.

Regardless of what people think of their dogs, that is completely out of order.

Well done btw, you have been much more polite about the dogs around babies thing than i am able to be...i have to not say anything, because i have nothing nice to say about people who allow dogs around babies/ small children.

 

[Underduck]

I have two dogs who I love more than anything right now. But I'm pregnant, and baby trumps dogs completely. I get that some people are so into their dogs that they could do no wrong, and mine have met babies before and they are pretty good. Yet when my smaller ones goes in for a face lick, I discourage her because I don't let her lick my face. Sometimes the new mom will tell me "oh, it's fine! It's cute!" and I will let it happen.

It's not fair of your sister to think that it is okay, but I think being a mom of a baby and being a mom of a dog is totally different. Being a mom of a baby changes your entire thinking of things that are dangerous. Maybe she doesn't have that yet.

When my baby is born, I'm not taking any chances with the dogs because it's the loving house pets that no one expects that always gets pushed too far and nips. Limits and boundaries will be set (no licking baby's face, no jumping on mom when she is holding baby, dogs will not be left alone with baby etc). Im not going to be unkind and the dogs will have to get to know how to behave around the baby. That being said, when my baby is older, there will be rules in place then too (no bothering a sleeping, eating or agitated dog).

Your worries are not out of line at all. Your sister just doesn't have that yet. Unless she's a mom and she's very trusting of her dog

I'm crazy about my dogs. I consider them my babies. But I'm not jaded. At the end of the day, they are dogs and dogs are not human.

If it helps, I've dealt with aggressive dogs before and can tell you a few things to look out for. When a dog is uncomfortable, they actually give out calming signals as an indicator of their discomfort. My own dogs will yawn incessantly, lick their lips (when not dealing with food), divert their eyes and look at me out of the "corner" of their eyes (showing lots of white eyeball), ears pinned, and pant a lot when it's not required to do so (not hot). Not all dogs growl before they bite. That might help you more into toddlerhood though because as a baby, an irritated dog will likely get up and leave. Hope that helps!

 

[Anana]

I have a dog that I adore and I have a baby as well so I'm obviously a dog person. My dog is phenomenal around kids and I let her spend lots of time playing, licking, etcetera with my child. That said, as gentle as my dog is, I still believe dogs and babies should always be supervised. An adults touch, voice and reaction are very different than a child's and unless you are vigilant you can't always tell when your dog is tired, cranky or needs to be left alone. I would be shocked if anything were to happen with my happy go lucky dog breed and my child but if it did, it would be 100% my fault for not controlling the situation in the first place.

I always try to respect the issues of other friends with babies. Bottom line is if you come to my home, my dog will be around however if the child has anxiety about dogs or their parents don't actively encourage my dog to interact with their child then I keep my dog away from them. I admittedly find non animal people sometimes downright mean with their dismissive attitudes about pets (my dog has given me so much love and joy she feels like another child to me) but I get that not everyone wants them around their kids. I think sometimes pet owners assume everyone else understands their pet's behaviour as well as we do.

I think you're totally within your rights to tell your sister you don't want her dog to interact with your child. If you're in her home then you have to respect that the dog may be around and be extra vigilant but if you have a legitimate safety concern for your child then I would protect them at all costs. Perhaps you can approach her in a way that doesn't make her feel it is a personal attack on her dog but more a health and safety concern you have about your young child being around any dogs.

Good luck!

 

[Cattia]

We ended up not taking my kids to see my brother at his house at all for the first two years of tjoer life because we had this issue. I understand that some people love their dogs but I hate being around people who let their dogs do whatever they want. No way would I let any dog lick my kids' faces, or my face and I don't like them licking their hands either. I always invited my brother and his kids to mine or we met somewhere outside where the dog wouldn't be there, because they wouldn't stop the dog licking or jumping up. Now my kids are older it's less of an issue but I would never ever leave them with any dog unsupervised.

 

[Dumpling]

I love my dog, but he knows that in the hierarchy, he is at the bottom & he has always been told off if he tries to lick faces (& my LOs hands as she sucks her thumb) I don't mind him licking her feet or lying next to her but I would never 100% trust him around her, especially as she's a boisterous almost 2 year who could quite easily accidentally hurt him. I think you're being completely reasonable not to want to take your LO round there at the moment, especially with a potentially unpredictable dog like a rescue.

 

[MollyNorwood]

I have a pet dog and am pregnant, I will be allowing my dog around my baby as my dog has a beautiful nature. BUT I am both parent and owner of the dog so that is purely my decision.
I would never leave my dog and baby together unsupervised because at the end of the day, my lovely dog IS STILL a dog, with teeth and is capable of (even though I don't believe she would ever) hurting someone.
I also would never expect a friend or relative with a baby to be ok with my dog licking their child's face especially their mouth because of germs and just because I treat my dog like a fur baby, doesn't mean they should.
You are the parent in this situation, I believe you need to have a quiet word to your sister to tell her that although you appreciate she loves her dog and it's a nice dog, you do not feel comfortable with allowing an animal so close to your baby.
If she is questioning you on it, just tell her the truth. It is not a personal attack on her, it is you exercising your rights as a parent to decide what is healthy and safe for your child.
If she cannot accept that then that is not your problem.