Done having kids, but quite sad about it. Anyone else?

[Cleo]

Thanks for all your replies ladies! I feel like I go back and forth on it...sometimes I really ache to think I won't have any more, and other times I'm perfectly content and think my little family is complete. I think I have to start focusing on those complete feelings though, bc DH is definitely done! Also, I should think about how awful labour is!! That'll stop me in my tracks!!

 

[LuckyYem]

Me - in a way!! I was sterilized in November on medical grounds BUT it was 110% my decision and 110% right for me and my family BUT a tiny - maybe 5% part of me feels sad I will never have another child. I had so many complications in both of my pregnancies and nearly died with both of them and I cannot put myself, dh, our beautiful babies and our families thru' that again.

 

[bubbles123]

Everytime you ovulate nature fills you with hormones telling you to go forth and multiply so it's no surprise you get broody! I get broody too even though my rational mind only wants 2. I just tell myself it's hormonal and will pass. And it does. X

 

[Seity]

That must be hard.
Totally the opposite for me. I was more than happy to be done with one and struggled this entire past oops pregnancy to come to terms with having to deal with a baby yet again. I refuse to have sex with my husband until he gets a vasectomy because I'm clearly way too fertile for a 40 year old and we both adamantly do not want to ever have to deal with a baby again. (He's getting it next month) I look forward to #2 getting out of the baby stage as it is. My husband would have probably been happy with zero kids, so we're both very done and happy to be moving on to the next stage.

 

[OmiOmen]

...it's human nature to want to procreate so even if you're satisfied with your family and know that you've taken on all that you can, there might be a small part of you that yearns for more...

I think I agree with this really. Even if you don't want any more at all right now I think it is possible to suddenly get hit with a broodiness later down the line.

We wanted one but he was so great we decided on two in the end and we were both happy with that. Now I have had my second I still only want two but I guess I feel sad that we really can't have any more. I don't even know if that sounds like it makes sense? Some doctors would strongly advice me not to get pregnant again and some would say it is possible if carefully managed and I had a early c-section but me and DH really can't go through another pregnancy/delivery again. The original plan didn't involve anything permanent but now DH will be getting a vasectomy at some point in the future and because there is a small failure rate with them we will use extra contraception just to be sure. So even though I don't want any more and am not sad about that I am a little sad it can't ever be an option. Although due to a huge fear me and DH have for pregnancy/birth there is also an element of relief too.

 

[snb1978]

We only have one and don't plan on having anymore as we have found it hard work, I feel a bit sad about it but not enough to warrant the extra work load!

 

[EverythingXd]

I really want another but OH only wanted one, he agreed to DS2 but he said that's definitely it! I am almost in denial, I just don't even want to think about not having any more babies

I know logic says OH is right - I'm already 38, I had a 3rd degree tear during 2nd birth so not sure how much another birth would damage me... I don't want to end up incontinent! We both hate large cars so we wouldn't want to swap our Focus for anything bigger. We also both said 2 parents for 2 children. We both come from families of 3 though and I love having big get togethers at Christmas etc. We can afford another baby as well and already live in a 5 bedroom house. OH has already compromised though and I really don't want to push him into a 3rd child when it's not what he wants.

 

[Amy2701]

All the way through my second pregnancy we told everyone we were done. But we are now discussing whether or not to have one more in 2/3 years. I know I'll be sad when we're finally done, no matter how many kids we have! Lol