Dont be afraid....to FIRE your OB!

[Krissy485]

Lately I noticed that many of you have gone through a similar experience with either your OB or MW that I have dealt with this pregnancy.

My OB on several occasions made me feel like I was being neurotic and every time I asked question or raised a concerned was quickly dismissed with out much explantion or even reassurance that everything was ok.

so I am not looking for someone to hold my hand and coddle me through my pregnancy but I want them to do what I am paying them to do.

I have 3 beautiful kids now and through those pregnancies, I had a different OB for them, I hardly had to ask many questions bc they were usually addressed by the OB before I could and when I did raise a concern I was listen to and made to feel that every concerned mattered no matter how small.

then I suffered 3 mc and once I got pregnant with this baby I vowed I would not be neurotic and try and treat the pregnancy like I did my first 3 successful ones. well this hasn't been an easy pregnancy...I had to use progesterone supplements, that I had to push to even get when my level came back at a 10.4 at almost 6weeks! then when I had spotting at 8 weeks and called the on call OB to ask what I should do, could it be just bc of the medication, all he said was if I was gonna mc nothing the could do don't bother coming in....

well as pregnancy went on I was feeling better till after my anatomy scan at 18+weeks showed that my baby has dilated kidneys. my OB came in told me they were dilated will do another scan in 4 weeks and left with out answering an sing question I had. then when the next scan came back saying the same the referred me to the University for another scan. then made me wait another 4 WEEKS before telling me I had to go see the high risk dr. in the mean time I was in L&D twice for contractions what had to be stop with medications. my OB once again wrote off all concerns I had saying that they didn't matter since didn't change my cervix and to ignore them but at the same time could not promise they wouldn't eventually change my cervix. wouldn't listen to me about how the more activity I do the more contractions I got and how I needed a lift restrictions for work or else they will fire me. I had to go to my family dr to get that note bc my OB told me I was fine to live with it basically. my fam dr was PISSED.

so once I saw the amazing high risk dr he referred me over to an OB practice he works closely with that he feels will be a better fit for me and all reassured me I did everything right this pregnancy. that I have every right to worry this is my body and my baby.

so I FIRED my OB and I see the new one on Monday and turned 30weeks today! I am so happy I did it though bc this is my last baby and I deserve better care then what I was getting. defiantly helped having not only my dh agreeing with me but my parents, my friends, my fam dr and my high risk OB.

so I am here to tell you that it is never too late to change Ob and you don't have put up with in adequate care!

 

[dairymomma]

I'm in the opposite situation. I fired my family practice dr at 6 weeks because she not only read me the riot act for getting pg 'too fast' after a miscarriage and she had been spouting stuff about how I'd miscarry for sure because of it. The fact that I was measuring a week behind her dates and was spotting seemed to back her up. However, I had been telling her for 2 weeks that the pg wasn't planned, we hadn't been trying (had in fact been preventing), and I knew I had ovulated a week later than normal due to my lmp being a miscarriage. I got so fed up with her negative attitude (I'd seen her for most of my pregnancies and she'd been so supportive until my last 3 pg-2 of which I miscarried and my current pg) and the additional anxiety it was causing me that I switched to my current dr, the OB/specialist I've seen for my recurrent miscarriage treatment. He's been so amazing. Gave me the number for the nurses station directly so I can call anytime I have a question or a concern, fits me in for an appt or a scan whenever I've asked for one even if I was in just the week before, and has never questioned me about 'getting pg too fast'. He's been nothing but enthusiastic and even pointed out that I was obviously ready to get pg when I did. Best decision I ever made and I'm switching my primary doctor to someone else as soon as this baby is born so I don't have to go back to that negative nancy of a doctor.

 

[Krissy485]

Exactly! You know for a while I thought I could put up with it just bc this is my last pregnancy but once I saw the Ob specialist last week and he only confirmed that what I was thinking and feeling was completely right I knew I couldn't put up with her anymore. oh and the specialist even told that he has had other complaints about the same dr! that is pretty bad!

dr, no matter what their practice is, is support us not tear us down. yes they need to tell us all the possible out comes but I think too often they put their own personal feelings in it and that so does not need to happen.

 

[dairymomma]

Exactly. I switched because I was dealing with intense anxiety and stress from the moment I found out I was expecting again yet she kept telling me I'd miscarry for certain because I didn't listen to the OB and wait 3 months before getting pregnant again. I could almost hear her gloating when I called for my repeat hCG results and told her I was spotting. She ordered the ultrasound figuring it would confirm a miscarriage but I switched to my OB that day and had the results sent to him. Too bad for her the u/s showed a healthy pregnancy and a strong hb and I'm still proving her wrong. 6 months and counting!

 

[Krissy485]

Isn't weird how even though we know we are in the right we still need the extra to feel validated? for me it was having the OB specialist say I was not neurotic bc I do really have something wrong. then when I called up my old ob office to tell them I was switching practices they seemed completely surprised....I was like seriously I have one been complaining about that dr for the last 6 months!

 

[eris]

That's awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I really hate doctors that have that God complex. Not all of them have it, but a number do seem to develop it.

Glad you found someone that is a much better fit for you!

 

[Krissy485]

Eris-thanks! I guess I am just tired of feeling like I had to put up with the care I got bc after all they are the dr...they went to 100 years of school so I should listen to them and keep my opinions to myself. I think too many of us feel that way. I just wish I had switched earlier in my pregnancy so that maybe I would have enjoyed my pregnancy a little more.

I guess I did this post so that if there are others out there feeling the same way I wanted to let them know its not totally crazy to switch...even with less than 3 months to go lol

 

[Skywalker]

Good for you!! I am so glad you got rid of that doctor and get to see an OB worth their salt! And it's true, it's never too late to get quality care! I met my current doula at about 30-something weeks and she has been the single most helpful person I've seen through this whole pregnancy who has done more to compassionately and patiently answer all of my questions, explain the entire process of birth to me, she even cried when she heard about the abuse I endured before getting away from the baby's father and grabbed my hands and prayed with me right then and there, so talk about someone who really cares! The doula I had before here I thought was good, but compared to this doula, she was such a bad fit for me and this new doula is perfect and is a godsend! I agree with this post - if you feel like your OB, your midwife and/or your doula is not the right fit, it's NOT TOO LATE to change and find someone who is! The amount of peace of mind and quality care you can still get even late in the game is really huge!