Don't want anyone at the hospital after baby is born....

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Club' started by sunshine20, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. sunshine20

    sunshine20 Well-Known Member

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    I'm due in June so I have a long way to go but I'm just wondering what peoples opinions of this are. I don't want anyone visiting me and baby in the hospital or even at home for the first few days/weeks. I want DH at the birth obviously, and my mom and dad. DH has a large family and I don't want anyone from his family coming to see us. Our house is on the same property as his dad and step mom so obviously they'll see the baby when baby comes home. I don't want hoards of people visiting me after I've just been in labor and I don't want the. Touching MY baby. I'm even at the point that I want as little doctor midwife interaction as possible and for DH to "catch" the baby... I feel like this is a point in our lives and relationship where we need to have our time with OUR child before we start introducing all these strange people to him or her. Am I crazy?
     
  2. heavyheart

    heavyheart Well-Known Member

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    I think its very natural to have all those feelings of protection for your baby and the not wanting everyone else holding (taking the baby away out your arms) after all you have waited all this time for your rainbow so you want all those first precious times and moments with just you and your other half. All i can say is dont put too much of a pressure on your self of having an exact plan, you may feel different nearer the time in the fact of being so proud of your bundle of joy and feeling you want to share them with your nearest and dearest.

    You can always have "rules" in place like example not too many people visiting at once and not for too long and if baby is sleeping no one gets to hold them even though they really want to or even if its just you dont want anyone to hold them at first thats ok. Dont worry you will find your way and what is right for you :hugs:
     
  3. izzlesnizzle

    izzlesnizzle Well-Known Member

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    We have been guilty of wanting to go round and see our friends babies within the first couple of weeks and now i realise how annoying that must be for them coz its not just us but all and sundry want to go too. I wouldnt want anyone other than really immediate family at the hospital and minimal visitors when we get home as i can imagine we will be really tired and not up for entertaining and making people tea etc.

    Having said that, my sister didnt have anyone come to the hospital to visit her when she had her son as we were all ill with colds and flu and she was very upset to not have any visitors and still brings it up 5 yrs later that no one visited her!
     
  4. misshopefull

    misshopefull Well-Known Member

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    I didn't want anyone to come to the hospital when I had ds. This was because my family live 5 hours away so they couldn't come so I didn't want the OH family coming if mine couldn't. I was so happy after ds was born that I didn't care who came to visit and all of my OH immediate family came to the hospital! It was fine because visiting times were very limited.

    I wish I had put my foot down over visiting at home as my MIL came the day after I got out of hospital [after an emerency C section] and was still there at 10pm! That will not be happening this time!

    At the end of the day its your baby but your family and friends will be excited to meet your child as well. Maybe you could allow some very short visits, like 30 minute slots?
     
  5. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    To quote my midwife - 'Use your husband like a rottweiler!' - we didn't have anyone to visit (at the hospital or the house) until Earl was 6 days old, and to be honest, that felt like it was too soon. I have to confess to a few issues with family so that may have something to do with it.

    My advice, lay down a rule, and let them know that when you're ready, you will invite them. Don't leave it too long (as you'll never want them over lol) and tell them they can't stay too long i.e. no dinner or full afternoons, just a cuppa and a digestive lol). You're mummy, and if you feel like it's too much, go for a bit of quiet time.

    We'll be doing the same again, and probably waiting 1 week this time, as with the 2 we'll need time to adjust (and to tidy up probably lol).
     
  6. threemakefive

    threemakefive Well-Known Member

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    I made everyone use sanitizer before touching my first child, and told anyone who was sick within the week to stay away lol Good luck and I'm sure all will understand maybe you could just tell them that you want to get acquired with baby and one week after birth you could have a "welcome to the world" party for all to meet him :)
     
  7. beanzz

    beanzz Mama to 2

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    I think it's completely up to you. :thumbup: im going to ask all my friends and family to leave me alone just for the first hour or so, so that i'll be able to have a wash and have me, OH and baby time just us 3 but if i feel like i need longer when the time comes i wont be afraid to tell people :)
     
  8. HollieQ

    HollieQ Well-Known Member

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    Nope you're not crazy :flower:

    Tell them all now, i said no visitors at hospital, no visitors at home for a week, no overnight visitors (our family live 2+ hours away) no visitors before midday - and hopefully they'll all leave before it's dark, and finally noone is allowed to bring their dog as ours need to be settled in with baby 1st lol!

    Do it sooner rather than later else it will start to stress you out.

    They all listened and after some initial whining accepted it :haha:

    My hubby has 2 weeks off thats it! So NO WAY is that time being spent with other people holding baby when we should be bonding. I'm also hoping to breastfeed so will be dissappearing upstaires to as and when, and maybe a little bit more if i feel i need to get away :winkwink:
     
  9. Torontogal

    Torontogal Well-Known Member

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    No, not nuts at all! Especially if there's a big family, you have to set limits somewhere.
     
  10. Charlie_x

    Charlie_x Well-Known Member

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    i had wrote a long easy out of my own experiance but it turned into babble so to cut a long story short not crazy at all i felt the same i felt it even stronger when it was DS1 and it hasnt changed this round time and this is my 4th pregnancy (1 mc) and i plan to not have anyone see me in hospitasl my mother has been told over and over and dont want her at the hospital and i would go even as far to let the midwifes know i dont want any vistors other than DH - My dad will most likely stay away untill i ask him to bring me home thats if i'm at the hospital xx
     
  11. mamawannabee

    mamawannabee Natural Mama/WTT #2

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    I want the exact same things, even looked into an unassisted birth so OH could catch the baby. I want as few people visiting as possible in the first few weeks and just OH at the birth center. My sister and best friend want to be at birth center when LO is born, but we are not going to call them until later, I don't want anyone there. I might let OH's parents come right after, but am still thinking it over. You can decide whatever you want!
     
  12. Housewife83

    Housewife83 Wife and Mum of 1 boy

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    You should look at your hospitals policies on visitors. Mine has strict visitor number limits. It's good leverage for you to restrict the number of visitors.
     
  13. littlecupcake

    littlecupcake Well-Known Member

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    We have basically said that we will not be having any visitors at the hospital..unless i will be in longer than normal (hospital tends to discharge after about 8 hours with all being well). I have also said we would like 2 or 3 days at home with no visitors to settle and bond however I realise I may want to show my LO off so have said I will invite people over if we feel ready before that for a little cuddle and that if people turn up unannounced/uninvited..i will disappear upstairs with the bambino...might sound harsh but I have a very large family and if i don't set rules, they will just take the pee :)

    Thankfully my OH fully supports me with this and I think he is looking forward to the family time with our new little unit :) we can always change our minds when the time comes
     
  14. Victoriaaa

    Victoriaaa Well-Known Member

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    Im locking the door and if you havent been invited round your not coming in.. simples!
     
  15. Erised

    Erised Mummy to amazing girls

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    I didn't want anyone visiting while in the hospital, and told everyone as soon as I told them I was pregnant. With DD we were staying with my parents when I went into labour, so obviously I didn't have a choice but to let family see her right away.

    With this pregnancy we have our own place, but I've already told DH I want time for ourselves first. If I have a hospital birth, no-one will be allowed to come visit again. If I have a home birth I'll call MIL to let her know when I'm up to her visiting, as she'll have DD. I want DD to see the baby before anyone else of the family though.

    My parents will, I assume, be flying over from Holland once I've given birth. Not sure if they'll already be here when I give birth or if they'll arrive after. Obviously I can't keep them away for days, and I wouldn't want to. I want at least a few hours with just DH, DD and the new baby though. I'm sure everyone will understand.

    I do agree with those who have said to set the rules as early as possible. I like the sound of '30 minutes visiting'
     
  16. InHisHands

    InHisHands Well-Known Member

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    Maybe my pregnancy hormones havent kicked in yet (9 weeks), or its just my situation. But honestly, i would love to have as many visitors and family around as possible. I want to celebrate this time with my loved ones.

    My hubby will be deploying, so he won't be here. This is my first baby, and a little scare to be left alone with a newborn. I welcome all and welcome advice (though i may not take it). There will be plenty of time after the mad 2 weeks (or so) rush for it to be just baby and me.. as im going to quit my job and be a stay at home mom.
     
  17. babycakes16

    babycakes16 Cory's mummy <3

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    My mum will be in the room when baby is born and OH's parents will be in the waitin room so obviously they will all see the baby at the hospital.

    When I get home I would love to be able to spend time alone with just me, OH and baby but I'm not going to have a chance to do that at all because I live at home with my mum and OH lives with his parents, so wherever we are there will be family too. I've only just realised this after reading this thread actually which has kind of bothered me :(

    Family and very close friends can come after a few days if they like. Evryone else can wait
     
  18. Sunshine12

    Sunshine12 New Mummy

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    I think its personal choice but you are definately not crazy!

    I definately wouldnt want parents at the birth (mine or his) as despite being very close to both sets the idea of it creeps me out but I would definately want my parents and my sister to visit in the hospital as soon as the baby is here. Dont really care how many people handle the baby TBH particularly as it gets older. I dont want my baby being clingy with me or crying its eyes out when other people hold him/her. x
     
  19. pink23

    pink23 mummy to 2 x

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    I dont really want family going made at hospital this time. Last time there was always some one with oh and I never got proper time to see him or time as a family. I think this time we will just have my parents maybe the day after and then people around when im home and settled. It will be different this time as oh will be looking after my lo but when he can see me i dont want family taking over and then moaning afterwards that we used them to get us out of hospital xx
     
  20. NuKe

    NuKe mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

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    I didn't/don't want anyone at the birth other than my husband. It's our moment with our new baby! After that though, I wanted/want to show them off to everyone and everyone!
     

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