Don't want anyone at the hospital after baby is born....

[overcomer79]

Maybe my pregnancy hormones havent kicked in yet (9 weeks), or its just my situation. But honestly, i would love to have as many visitors and family around as possible. I want to celebrate this time with my loved ones.

My hubby will be deploying, so he won't be here. This is my first baby, and a little scare to be left alone with a newborn. I welcome all and welcome advice (though i may not take it). There will be plenty of time after the mad 2 weeks (or so) rush for it to be just baby and me.. as im going to quit my job and be a stay at home mom.

Our hospital stay is a min of 2 nights. It gets lonely. I had people visiting but wasn't over crowded. I was happy to see a visitor as I had no other option. I couldn't sleep lol. Although my aunt and cousin told my mom they wanted to be in LDR...and I was like HELL NO!

 

[SummerLily]

i was talking to DH about this recently and i have said that i dont really want other people at the hospital ! This is my first pregnancy and being multiples means i dont have a choice about birthing options and will be having them via c section at 34 weeks although they have told me that i probably wont be able to hold them there and then and im worried about them going into intensive care unit and me being taken to recovery for a while . I just dont want other people coming in to see them with me on the first proper occasion that i get to see them if that makes sence? either that or i dont want hauds of them outside the door eagerly waiting to get in to see them because then id feel guilty for leaving them outside ! lol. x

 

[EMC0528]

I felt the same way. I didn't want anyone to come to the hospital. There are strict rules that only allow immediate family to visit which helped.

DH's mom wanted to be there for the delivery, I told her no way. athen we told them we didn't want many visitors until we got home. I was really pissed off when they showed up before I even got stitched up. It wasn't even visiting hours, but they talked to the nurse at the desk and told them they were from out of town and managed to get the nurse to let his mom and sister into the recovery room before I even got there! I was SO ANGRY.

I ended up staying 4 days in the hospital because they wanted to watch my son, as it was a rough delivery. So in the end I didn't mind a few visitors that came and stayed only for a few minutes.

I told DH that this time we won't even tell anyone I've gone to the hospital until the baby is delivered.

People are so excited, but they do have a hard time remembering it's a very special and intimate time for mom and dad and baby.

 

[Arisa]

Same here. Dont want anyone except my DH with me before and after delivery. Id like my parents to come in once baby is feeding and had all his/her tests done but aside from that, family and friends can stay away

 

[mnjhowell]

Im all honesty if your mom and dad can come it should be fair that his parents be allowed also. It is his baby also and should have the same rights as your parents.

 

[Amethyste]

I can understand that to an extend. Personally i don't want anybody waiting at the hospital in the waiting room and i don't even want to tell other people when i go into labour. I just can imagine giving birth and having everybody jumping on you as soon as the baby is born. Now, once i gave birth and had time to sleep, i wouldn't mind people (close family only) to come up to see me the next day for a couple of hours. It is gonna be only his family cos mine live in france so they will come later. I don't think it is really fair to hide the baby from close family for a couple of weeks as they have been waiting as much. Beside i think i will be happy to show off my LO ! lol

 

[Amethyste]

I told DH that this time we won't even tell anyone I've gone to the hospital until the baby is delivered.

People are so excited, but they do have a hard time remembering it's a very special and intimate time for mom and dad and baby.

I would be so angry if the nurse did that to me. Anyway, i completely agree with you but i am worrying about convincing my OH not to texts his family !!

 

[ems]

I want my Mum and OH at the birth. Afterwards I would like my other 2 children to be the first to see baby. Depending on how long Im in hospital for will determin the rest. If I can go home then parents and brothers and sisters will be welcome to visit but I dont want anyone else around at first.

Im planning, instead of a baby shower to have a 'welcome to the world' get together for when I feel a bit more human. I will let family and friends know the date and we will have an open house for a day, Ill provide some food and drinks and people can come and go between certain hours to meet baby. That way its only one day and its all over and done with. One of my pet hates is baby being passed around from person to person, Im not sure how Im going to cope with that lol

 

[karlilay]

Havent read the whole threat hun, but when Madi was born i honestly didnt feel like i had bonded with her at all. It was all a haze of visitors and tea making.
When Zach was born i sent out the 'Hes born' message, and ended it, like visitors are welcome after Saturday, so us and Madi can settle in. And i also wrote that people were to ring or text if they wanted to come up.

 

[EmzLouise]

Yep, I feel the same. Deffo making people use hand sanatizer before they touch my bubz! And I'm living with my family so obvi they'll be there and I don't mind his mum dad and sister, they never interferre but anyone else can wait until I'm ready, I would want the baby to be at least a month before I want friends to visit. I dont think its rude, it's your baby at the end of the day. I know for a fact my family will have a problem with the sanatizer because I use it alot now, apparently I'm a clean freak who will eventually turn into a recluse because of it which is hurtful enough!

 

[truly_blessed]

My parents have passed away and my brother lives 3 or 4 hours away so none of my family will be there but I know MIl has already booked a week off from work around baby's due date, why I have no idea. I don't want all his family around until we have settled in but I know they will probably be on the phone before we walk through the door. I'm not sure about the hospital, I might let some of them visit for half an hour depending on how long we are in then they can stay away for 2 or 3 days when we get home. We have a dog to so he has to get used to her being around without all the excitement of visitors.

I do however think it should be the same rules for both sets of grand parents and not just those on the maternal side getting to see the baby without the paternal side getting a look in until much later.

 

[mumeee]

With my son, I withheld judgement until after I'd given birth, I wanted to see how I felt, how baby was and what time he'd been born and whether I planned to stay in at all. In the end I decided to stay in 24 hours.

He was born just before 10am and visiting hours weren't until 2pm so it worked quite nicely. My parents came alone at 3pm, just for an hour. By that time I'd had 5 hours just me, OH and bubs, time for a shower and a cuppa.

Next visiting was at 6pm. OH mum, sister and my sister came, again only for an hour, around 7pm. OH went home with them at 8.

For me, this was just enough, very close family and spaced out nicely. Had bubs been born later in the day, I'd have requested no visitors to give us time to rest and bond

 

[PhotoLC]

I'm caught in an awkward situation. I live across the country from my mom. I want her at the birth because honestly, I'll prob be a big fat baby and want my mommy. The problem us that I think she's planning to stay for at least a month. I'd like some time with just dh and baby. I guess I better start saving to keep her at the b&b across the street or I'm going to go crazy.

 

[dragonflies]

I feel the same - DH and parents MAX, noone else!! put it on my birthplan too - so hoping midwife will enforce it.

 

[AP]

With our first only DH was there. Everything happened to quick, and tbh we were just in shock. Then everyone came in. Aunts,grans,mums...My only saving grace was that LO was in NICU so no-one could see her let alone touch her.

LO lived there for 11 weeks. 11 weeks of in laws bouncing in uninvited, demanding to see her....even inviting their friends to neonatal (DH stopped that)

banned everyone with my second, who was thankfully term. Again MIL ignored my wishes to bond as a family (seeing as we never took our first home immediately) but she turned up at day 3. I will never ever forgive this.

There WILL be people who will forget your wishes over their own longing to see the baby. Be prepared!

 

[Sovereign]

I didn't allow anyone other than close family visit for the first couple of weeks. Sure, they didn't like it but tough! I'm glad I stuck to my guns x

 

[future_numan]

After My last delivery it was stressful.
I delivered at 6:30am after being up close to 12 hrs and not eatting since 3pm the day before.
There was ppl in my hospital room within a hour of birth and that kept up till 7pm that night.
DH spent the night in hospital with me and slept like a baby while of course I was up with baby and the fact I couldn't sleep because I was over tired.

We went home the next morning and within 10 mins of getting home the in-laws showed up ( they stayed over night) and I felt the need to entertain them...
They finally left around noon the next day and I was so overwelmed I cried.. on top of that DH had to leave for a two week business trip the very next morning..
I don't want to go through that again.

This time we have planned a home birth and we will make it clear to everyone that there will be no vistors for at least a few days..

 

[Louise88]

Ive just spoke to my bf about this I was saying that i dont want any visitors at all in hospital I can imagine wanting to be with my baby for the first precious moments of its life i dont want to be passing it around like a parcel with everyone and having to talk and stuff i just want to cherish the first hours of my babies life just me, baby and bf

 

[Sew_Sweet]

I think it really depends on the relationships you all have with your respective families. This would NEVER go over with mine or my husband's. Not that I'd want it to. I do want a little private time with baby, husband and our daughter (he will go fetch her from grandma after baby is born) - I want her to see and hold her baby brother before other relatives do so she can feel special about it. But after a few hours of that we'll give the all clear call for visitors. I don't expect them to stay more than an hour in the hospital because well - it's a hospital. It's small and uncomfortable with few places to sit so the stay will be short lol. Better that than have them visit me at home where they can hang out for hours when all I want to do is have a nap!

The only exception to that rule would be if I have some sort of emergency c-section and I am literally knocked out to the point where I cannot even entertain anyone. In that case I'd rather not have any visitors at the hospital - but hopefully nothing like that would happen. But I sure don't want everyone holding my baby before I do! This happened to one of my friends and she was really upset about it.

But you have to keep in mind that this baby is part of your family - that includes your parents and his as well. Things like this can really be damaging to relationships and that's not how you want to start off with your LO. Let them enjoy - be quick about it and then go home with their snapshots. That will tide them over for awhile.

Hospitals are very good here about fending people off if you wish. When I had DD they told me to just ring the silent nurse button if visitors became overwhelming and they would think of a reason for them to have to leave - for an exam of mommy and baby or just tell them visiting hours are over or whatever. Or if we let them know they just wouldn't allow visitors whenever. We never used any of those things but it was nice to know they were there.

 

[EstelSeren]

I don't really want anyone other than my husband to come when I'm in the hospital but my parents, who live over 2 hours away and have agreed to stay in a hotel for a couple of nights this visit, will be here from Monday evening through to Wednesday afternoon! So, if I have baby within that period, which is a strong possibility as I'm both due and having a sweep tomorrow, then I'll sort of have to let them visit me as otherwise they won't have a chance to see their first grandchild until she's a couple of months old and that would be unfair considering they're coming to see us! Really hoping that I'll have her either over the weekend so I'm home by the time they come to visit (though I think I'd then insist that instead of taking us out for a meal they come over and buy us takeaway!) or Thursday next week after they've gone so I can have a bit of quiet time with my baby and my husband! I really hate people fussing and crowding me at the best of times and my mum's terrible for it!

Beca :wave: