Don't want to be a SAHM...feel awful about it

msmissa

Mommy of 1 & expecting
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I always said I want to be at home with LO his first year, but he's now 8 months old and I'm super restless. Before I married my husband, I worked 2 jobs and was taking classes at our community college. I've always been that independent.

Now, I just submitted my application to finish school over the next 3 months, and I feel awful for doing it. I'm doing it all from home, but it made me feel bad about wanting to go back to work when I'm finished. :(

I felt so strongly that I should be at home with him, now I'm counting down til I finish school and start working again.

Idk. maybe I'm being silly
 
I went back 3 weeks ago. I'm really happy, I don't want to be a SAHM. Doesn't make me any less of a mum or love my DS less. Plus I teach so get 3 months off a year with him anyway.

Please don't feel bad xx
 
Don't feel bad, I wanted to be a sahm but it's not for everyone, 3 weeks in and I'm a little restless, I've never not worked so it's strange for me but I quit my job so I guess im staying off lol! I've caught myself looking at the jobs page in the paper and have to remind myself that I wanted it this way.
 
One year was definitely too long for me to stay home...I'm pretty happy back at work, and Eloise loves going to daycare. She waves goodbye with a smile on her face!
 
Please don't feel bad. I work 3 days per week (moving to 4 in September) and I LOVE the mixture of home and work life. My career is very important to me and I didn't want to lose that. I adore the time I have with LO but I love my job too. I figure happy mummy = happy LO!
 
Don't feel bad. I go back in a few weeks and I can't wait! DS will be 6 months. I will miss him so much my heart aches thinking about it but staying home is not for me. I miss being with adults and I love my job.

If I could afford to go part time I would because I work 12 HR day and night shifts but I am lucky that my husband is self employed so he will work around me and I don't have to leave baby with anyone else.
 
We are all different, if we all wanted to do the same thing how boring would that be!

I can't stand the thought of being away from my LO but that's just me, I'm a real homebody anyway and not the type that enjoys working. Doesn't make me a better or worse mother, we all should do what feels right for ourselves.
 
Don't get me wrong, I have so much respect for SAHM's. My own step mother was one. Personally, I think I'm way too restless and independent (I like being out and about, having a job, and being around adults) to be able to do this forever. I just feel like I should WANT to stay home with him iykwim. I do love spending lots of time with my LO, and I LOVE the fact he doesn't go to anyone else usually and he love his momma, but I need that little slice of.....freedom? or what word would I choose?

But the minute I submitted my app, I felt so guilty lol
 
You're not alone, hun! I don't want to be a SAHM, either.
 
I love my independence too and find that when I working, I feel LESS independent. I hate being somewhere where I am told what to do all day.

Right now I do whatever I like all day, I can go out whenever I feel like it, I don't feel like I am just working for some other person so they can profit.

Just do what you feel best doing! Your LO will be happy to have a happy mum.
 
don't feel bad.
i'm going to culinary school this year and i'm actually really excited about it
i know james will be in good hands.
 
I never wanted to be a SAHM and I wasn't. I went back to work when he was 2 months. I wouldn't have done well staying at home.
 
I know what you mean. I wanted to be a SAHM, but then found that staying at home with Adrian all the time was depressing. I never got out, as I don't have any local friends, and I rarely had anything to do outside of home except grocery shop. I got really depressed.

Then when Adrian was almost 17 months I ended up finding a job. I hated the job, but loved my coworkers. It was great to get out of the house again. Sadly that didnt last long. But I've since decided that a SAHM I am not. But maybe a WAHM? I don't like working for other people anyway; can't stand being told what to do :haha: but enjoy the productive feeling of bringing in an income.
 
So glad I'm not alone. All of my friends have decided to be SAHM's, but I can't!!
 
I love being a SAHM, but i dont get out much cause i dont really know anyone. I decided that maybe when my DS is about 1 year old i might go back to work for a couple days a week. But i dont know yet, i love being with my boy & ive still got a little while until he is 1 so ill have to wait and see. :)
 
Don't feel bad about it! Being a SAHM is not for everyone. I go back to work in a few weeks and in some ways I'm quite relieved! I'll be sad as well and will miss my LO like crazy, but I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM forever.
 
Some people love being a sahm, others don't. Don't feel bad, doesn't mean you love him any less.
 
Don't feel bad about not wanting to be a SAHM...its better you're happy and enjoy your time with LO than resent it because you need to do things outside of being a mum....not that its wrong just being a mum IYKWIM!

I went back to work 2 days a week when Tom was 8 months and by then I was desparate to not be at home with him all the time. I love him so, so much but I need some time being professional me and using all the training I did for my career. Tom loves going to nursery and has 2 days with other kids learning social skills and sharing etc and we have quality time together on the 3 days he's at home with me. As far as I'm concerned it a win-win.
 
Dont feel guilty!!!!

I work at the weekends whilst hubby looks after LO. It has done me the world of good. And makes me appreciate my special time with LO more.

Everyone is different but i was getting very "bored" and needed some stimulation.

I am a nurse and work in very busy and acute ward. Sounds crazy but i get alot of satisfaction about being on my feet all day rushing about like a mad woman and getting everything done. It is a piece of "me time":thumbup:
 
definitely don't feel guilty. i go back to work in a month and although i'm apprehensive about LO's transition, i know i personally need to go back to work for my own mental health. i am thankful i will have had 5 lovely months off with her...i've seen all her firsts so far and that's really beautiful...but i know for my own happiness i need to be working. to each their own for sure! i have friends and family that are SAHMs and i have friends and family members that work...i firmly believe that my mental health and overall happiness will make me a better mom.
 

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