Downs Testing

[kglo]

I'm having the combined testing for Downs with my scan being on Monday.

As I'm over 40 I'm really scared of the result as 1:4 women over 40 get a High Risk Result.

I know this does not mean your child has downs but I'm really scared.

I waited 20 years to concieve this child, my youngest now is 20 years old.

Having a disabled child terrifies me; I could not cope. My uncle had downs so I know what its about and I could not parent a child like this.

I'm so scared.

 

[Lucy_lu_84]

You'd cope if it turned out that way but try not to worry! Am sure everything will be fine

 

[Claudia123]

Aww...I am sure you are really worried, but try and not stress too much. I understand how you feel. I am overly paranoid myself. I have a cousin with Down's. Did you see any research that says you are at a higher risk with a family member with Down's? I have seen conflicting information.

 

[Mum22GTTC]

Hi, Can't really say anything to help you, other than I know how you feel. I have 2 children & have had high risk results in both of my pregnancies & had amnios in both too.
I have my scan & bloods in 3 weeks, but I won't be able to relax & look forward until that test & most likely another amnio is out of the way. It's such a long waiting game

Wishing you lots of luck, please remember than although you are potentially high risk - the odds are still stacked in your favour

 

[SCUBAGIRL]

you are bound to worry, but anybody can get high risk, remember this is just a number about risk not definate result. it is very personal what you do and only the person can make any decisions if needed. my daughter in law came out high risk, she had an amnio and it was negative and she went on to have a healthy boy! my brother has a daughter with downs, no testing when she was born to under 35's so we did not know, but my daughter in law was told there was no connection. good luck am sure all will be ok!

 

[missamoo]

i used to worry about having a downs child until my friend had one and he is the most loveliest little boy. as a baby it really makes very little difference altho sometimes they have problems feeding. the only difference really is as they get older, they won't potty train so early, walk or talk so early and there may be other health issues, but i don't see my friends little boy as disabled, he's just Steven. he's nearly 4 now and and can walk and communicate (using signs) just like any other little boy.

u only knew ur uncle as an adult, children are very different so I shouldn't worry too much. plus it's not necessarily a downs child remember!

you will be fine whatever the outcome hun

 

[carrieanne]

im 42 and im having a perfectly healthy baby boy the risk is still very low even if you are over 40 im sure it will all be fine xx

 

[Mum22GTTC]

i used to worry about having a downs child until my friend had one and he is the most loveliest little boy. as a baby it really makes very little difference altho sometimes they have problems feeding. the only difference really is as they get older, they won't potty train so early, walk or talk so early and there may be other health issues, but i don't see my friends little boy as disabled, he's just Steven. he's nearly 4 now and and can walk and communicate (using signs) just like any other little boy.

u only knew ur uncle as an adult, children are very different so I shouldn't worry too much. plus it's not necessarily a downs child remember!

you will be fine whatever the outcome hun

The serverity of Downs differs greatly, and your child is still your child no matter how old they are and when a child with Downs becomes an adult - often in fact they are still a child.
I'm sorry I'm not picking at you. But I've been through this twice & have done a lot of research into Downs and feel that people are often quick to judge (again not saying that you are judging - just using what you said regarding the 'symtoms' of a child as an example), some people just see Downs as a visual difference - that is so far from reality, there is so much more to Downs than that.

 

[kglo]

I'm sorry if I sound judgemental; I don't mean to be, I respect anyone who could cope with a Downs child, I'm just saying I could not and I'm scared of the results from the scan I'm having on Monday.

 

[Happyhayley]

I'm sure everything will be fine but just to tell you. I also had the downs testing with my first pregnancy and said if something is wrong I would abort. Nothing was wrong but when the baby was born it turned out he had Cerebral palsy and sever mental delays as well as very poor vision. Now that I have a disabled child I cannot believe I ever thought it would be better to abort him if I knew something was wrong. He does provide his own challenges but he also brings us so much joy and happiness. With this pregnancy I will also have the downs testing again but not because I will abort if the news is bad...just so I know what to expect and accept it early on I have all faith your baby will be fine but if it's not what you expect you will cope and you will actually learn to enjoy.

 

[Kitten-B]

I understand how you feel - it's that's worried me for as long as I've even considered having children. My auntie has Down's Syndrome too - we are small family and i'm very familar with it all as I'm sure you are too and I think it is because of that (and not ignorance), that I have been more aware and more scared of it. She is lovely person and very happy but it is naive not to think of the problems it causes.

My auntie was the light of my Grandma's life (absolutely to the detriment of her two other children) and my mum told me that in a rare moment of sharing, when she was pregnant with me, her mother told her that if my mum was in the same position and could know in advance she'd advise her not to go through with it. Never ever would have expected that from my grandma and it says an awful awful lot to me. It's hard to explain in a few words without knowing the people and the situations so I wouldn't accuse anyone of being too quick to judge.

Don't worry too much though - if you are high risk then you can consider the next stage of testing and deal with it then. Chances are everything is absolutely fine and there is nothing to worry about.