drug rant.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by smitsusan5, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. smitsusan5

    smitsusan5 call me kayte (:

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    URGH im so fed up with my home situation, i have a brother who is 21 next week. since i can remember he has sat in his room all day on his computer, he went to uni, left after 2 months as all he did was sit in his room and smoke weed all day. fair play he claimed jsa for 6 months then got himself a full time job. he earns about £300 a week. he only pays £30 a week rent to my parents, the rest goes on running his car and WEED. now my problem is he does JACK ALL around the house, i clean my room and the bathroom which i share with him, my mum cleans his room, and is fine with him smoking weed. im pregnant, his room is opposite mine and he smokes his weed in there, now i dont want to put my baby at any risk so ive had enough and as my mum only sings praise of him, she wont say anything because she doesnt want him to move out as "he is vunerable" and will end up living on the street. good. if thats what he is going to do with his life. yesterday, my parents spent 4 hours cleaning his room. purely because we were fed up of not having enough plates and cutlery, so they threw most of it away. he comes home at 11pm when im trying to sleep, runs up and down the stairs with these 5 full bin bags to empty them on his bedroom floor to look for his smoking paraphenalia. and my mum says hes not addicted. MY BLOODY ARSE HE SMOKES 2 JOINTS A DAY AT LEAST (even more on weekends!) mum seems to think he is depressed. yeah hes depressed because he is a drug addict.


    now ive been told im not allowed to have a go at my brother about the smoking, even in his room, incase it upsets him and causes him to move out, even though he is causing m unborn child harm.

    argh sorry for the rant but im so fed up! i get the shit of everything in this family and no body will see my side. hes such a skank and i dont know why everyone constantly feels sorry for him, ive had enough!
     
  2. farmerswifey

    farmerswifey Well-Known Member

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    oooh! That sucks!!

    Is there not any chance of you getting a place of your own? You sound like you would be much happier to do this long term than live around your brother.
    Why is it that boys rooms smell so bad?! And why cant they take plates and cutlery to the kitchen after use? Do you think its in their dna?

    I dont blame you for ranting - I would be the same - he is being inconsiderate and needs to grow up now.

    Hope this work sout for you

    Lots of love xxx
     
  3. Celesse

    Celesse Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe anyone would smoke anything in a house where there is a pregnant lady, let alone cannabis! Do your parents know you are pregnant? Do they not think that your baby is a kinda more vunerable than your brother? He needs to start smoking outside NOW.

    If they wanna baby him thats their choice, but they can't allow him to continue to smoke in the house now your pregnant. And he should be pulling his weight in the shared areas of the house.

    And why would you tidy up the bedroom of an adult? That makes no sense to me....surley they should just leave it a mess, and start going in on a daily basis and asking him to pass out any dishes.

    I'd talk to your parents and basically tell them they are failing to protect you and your unborn child by allowing him to smoke in thier house and they need to stop this behaviour now, as allowing it to continue is choosing thier drug addict son, over thier pregnant daughter..... and thats not on.

    Is moving out an option? I would think that if your parents will not support you in stopping your brother smoking drugs in the house then you may have grounds to move out and declare yourself unintentionally homeless and get help from the council.
     
  4. smitsusan5

    smitsusan5 call me kayte (:

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    thank you so much celesse! you made me cry! someone sees my side andwhere im coming from! my parents do know im pregnant which makes it worse. moving out right now is not an option as my partner is at uni and finished next may, im due christmas eve so i only have to stay on my own at home for 6 months then im going to find somewhere with FOB. i have so much hate for my brother and the stress cant be doing me any good!
     
  5. Maze

    Maze Expecting 4th, 2 Angels

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    I have the same problem with my 31 year old step-sister. Thankfully, I am moving out... however I know how frustrating it is. You just want to smack them upside the head and ask them how on earth they got to be so stupid and self-centered that they think it is OK to be smoking PERIOD (weed and tobacco are about the same harm) around you when you are with child. Why their habit is more important than the growth of a new life, THEIR family member who can't fend for themselves right now.

    My parents do very little about my sister too, no matter how much I complain. She is depressed and vulnerable too... and has no job, and pays no rent... and they buy her stress relieving massages. FOR WHAT I DON'T KNOW...

    Hopefully, you will be able to move out soon, somehow. Doesn't sound like a good living situation for you, and especially not a baby.
     
  6. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: id talk to your partner and see if there is anything that he can do perhaps looking for accomodation together sooner would help?

    i dont know how you deal with the smell tbh of the weed one of my neighbor smokes the stuff and every day i have to keep the windows at the back of the house closed caus the smell comes in and makes me extremely nauseated and i wont have my sons breathing in that rubbish either.

    i think you will have to be straight with you parents and tell them exactly how it is in your eyes and that if they arent gonna do something about it then you will
     
  7. janeybaby

    janeybaby 18 mths TTC BFP 5 Apr 11

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    Your parents seem rather irrisponsible too me. As a parent I would never allow my child to smoke weed in the house or on my property etc.... no matter how old they were. You bro may be depressed but that will be the weed making him depressed and your parents should encourage him not to make things worse for himself.

    I would look into finding alternative living arrangements asap. co to your local council and speak to them also your MW maybe able to offer a supporting letter explaining that it is not suitable for you to remain living at home when your parents refuse to ask your bro not to smoke weed in the house no you are expecting.

    Good luck hun.
     
  8. Clarina1980

    Clarina1980 LTTTC With PCOS

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    I know you'll probably think this is a no no. But my mum always said if she caught me smoking weed, she would report me, and she was serious. Sounds like he needs intervention and if your parents won't do it, maybe you should. It may be what he needs to reevaluate his life.

    I would also go down the council route, tell them you cannot live where you are, they may put you to the top of the list for accom, of course you don't have to take it if you change your mind, but it's good to have that option.
     
  9. smitsusan5

    smitsusan5 call me kayte (:

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    yeah i have considered it seeing as he has about £60 worth of weed in his room at a time, but i couldnt bring that stress to my mum. he has to learn but ive spoken to my mum about it and he is going to be told firmly that he has to smoke in the garden, he has also hinted that he may be moving out at the end of the summer. thanks girls x
     
  10. xpensivtaste

    xpensivtaste Well-Known Member

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    oh dear. smoking weed is a downward slope. it makes people unmotivated, paranoid and lazy. the thing is nothing you or anyone say will make him stop unless he wants to, its not physically addictive but getting addicted mentally is a different story. i would definately be peeved if it were me in your situation.
    maybe you should stress to your parents that smoking weed is illegal and whilst they are allowing your brother to use in the family home they are breaking the law. although its uncommon, i dont think your parents realise the serious risks in smoking weed. it can lead to mental disorders such as schizophrenia and panic attacks and even has been linked to suicide in more than enough occasions as harmless as people think it is. you definately could do without having to breathe in the second hand smoke also. who knows what effects it could have on an unborn baby. also your brother will never learn any responsibility by having everything done for him. its far too easy to let everyone run around after you.....if he can he will.
    i hope he smartens up soon. seen far too many people throw their lives away on that stuff growing up. i was nearly one of them until i had a reality check and realised theres more to life than getting stoned.
    good luck x
     
  11. Weebear

    Weebear Well-Known Member

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    Why don't you try and find some info/articles online about the dangers to unborn baby/young baby of inhaling smoke and smoke from weed. Seems like your mum has blinkers on as to how bad this is for you and baby, maybe if it's written by professionals and is right in front of her she might realise the dangers n do something about it. Worth a shot x
     
  12. FiNZ

    FiNZ Lucky mum of 4 darlings!

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    You poor thing. I understand completely how frustrated you must feel. My brother smokes weed too, and it irritates the shit out of me. I lecture him ALL THE TIME.

    I CANNOT believe that your parents would want to protect him so much though. That is just ridiculous. And you are so right to be concerned about your unborn baby, and then of course your baby once he/she is born. Is there anywhere else you can move out to? With friends or family? I know it's a huge thing, but I honestly wouldn't stay somewhere when I'm so blatantly not respected. It's just wrong. Your brother will never change while it is this easy for him to continue his habit. Trust me. I have been banging my head against a brick wall about my brother for YEARS.

    Deep breath hun. Please consider your options. It's too stressful on you to stay in that environment. And maybe you should write your brother a letter and leave it in his room and tell him he's selfish and spoilt. When I say things to my brother he thinks he knows everything and doesn't really take on board what I say.

    xxx
     
  13. Yersinia

    Yersinia Well-Known Member

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    Terrible brother! 21 and still cannot clean his room? This is nuts!

    Please, try to talk to your brother that you are concerned about your baby health, he will feel guilty his whole life if he does not stop! For a person like that I would even consider contacting a specialist...

    Also, weed is not legal (mostly) and he can get into trouble. Not sure if scaring him would help, but it might - you need to consider all options....
     
  14. babyhearts

    babyhearts Well-Known Member

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    Awww I totally understand where your coming from I'm 25 and my brother is 23 when we both lived at home he started smoknig at 13 was kicked out of school and started selling drugs I moved out at 16 because I couldn't cope with the stealing lieing and people coming round at all hours sending threats n smashing windows I had to move back when I was pregnant with my son (age 21) for the first 5 months as my flat was having a lot of work done and my partner had never moved in with me he still lived at home 12 weeks into my pg I came home from work to find my brother trying to attack my mother with a knife he then attacked me and we were locked in the bedroom until we could get help in the form of 8 police cars he was taken away and we went to court he got 2yrs jail (his 3rd time) out in 4 weeks as soon as he was out he was moved back in given my room that I was paying £150 a week for along with all my own food n washing and still paying for my flat, I dunno how easy it is for you to leave but you should try your best to move out and show you won't put up with it I left soon after didn't speak to my brother but kept a relationship with my mum and dad my brother was kicked out again soon after for selling crack from the house he is clean now finally and is getting help for his problems, I hope this shows other people get caught up in drugs and there is a way out you need to keep strong and stay calm and do what is best for you and your baby xxsorry for the massive rant xx
     
  15. xdxxtx

    xdxxtx NTNP

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    That stinks, and you're totally right. That's so selfish of all of them to act like that towards you. I'd honestly suggest getting an air purifier for your room and putting it by the door to filter out the weed smell.
     

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