Due date today, no sign of baby. Need some support, hubby just doesn't get it.

[Jezzielin]

Well here I am on my due date again. No baby again. There is nothing I want more at this moment than to start labor. I am 4-5cm (for nearly a week now) 50-60%, -1 with bulging waters and an anterior cervix. Nothing. I've been sweeped twice, nothing. There was one day Sunday when I contracted for every 5 minutes for 4 hours and I swore that was it. Died off.

I am just getting so frustrated because I just want my body to do it on it's own, it just like last time it doesn't seem like going to. And even more frustrated because I wanted to DTD but my husband was too tired last night and wasn't interested this morning, and I bet that would have helped. Now I'm just sitting around the house all day waiting when nothing is going to happen and it would've been nice to maybe get something going this morning.

My husband is getting frustrated with me because i seem I'm not happy and been just been moping around the house because he knows how badly I want this to start on its own. He just doesn't understand that, he just tells me if I'm tired of being pregnant, just to get induced as my doctor is going to offer that today most likely. I want to be able to do it on my own he just doesn't get it he doesn't understand why that's so important!!! And it is so hard to explain it to him.

As supportive of a man as he is, I just feel so unsupported right now and so alone. He keeps referring to the last week of pregnancy is hell, because of just not happy which makes me feel so much worse. I don't turn into a jerk or anything but I just get so emotional because I'm exhausted, tired and just so anxious to meet our new little one - so I come across as quiet and teary. I don't even want to talk to anyone right now because if I hear "where's the baby" or "how you feeling" one more time feel like I'm going to snap.

Anyway sorry for the rant, I just feel like I know what else to talk to. I don't know if I'm just so disappointed that I'm wasting my maternity leave with no baby or if I'm just upset that I feel like my body cannot do this on its own.

 

[susywoosy]

Dito. I'm 5 days over and facing a section in 5 days if this baby doesnt get moving. What u have in your favour is a favourable cervix. Mine is soft but posterior and i havent dilated really and baby is only 1/5th engaged. I bet it will happen for u real soon.

i dont think our husbands or family can say anything that will make us feel better. We just get so angry with our bodies... why dont they just do what they r supposed to. However there is still time for a spontaneous labour. My mw told me today to completely relax and dont let anxiety build up as it could stall labour. It makes sense.

So i'm going to walk every morning, do some chores around the house. Rest in the afternoon and bounce on my ball in evenings. I'll try nipple stimulation and dtd (hopefully) and c if it will kick start labour. We need to try and stay positive xx

 

[xdxxtx]

I can imagine that if I were in your shoes, I'd be a MESS. I'd be very upset and emotional, too! Of course nobody can completely understand unless they've been in that situation - so like your husband I can't - but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get the support you need and deserve. You're doing great. Your body is RIGHT there and just needs a little push - hopefully he will DTD and start things up. I've also heard that crawling around on hands and knees can do it, especially given how "ready" your body seems to be!

 

[Willo]

I think men tend not to understand things like this and he probably views induction as a way to solve the problem (the problem being in his eyes that you are not in labour). Unfortunatly he is not seeing that what is upsetting you or frustrating you is that your body has not gone into labour by itself so induction does not seem like the answer to you that it does to him.
I really hope something happens for you soon. Try to keep occupied as best you can. Your body is already gearing up. With my last baby I was not even 1cm dilated when labour started and I was 40+3 then.
If they are talking induction could you ask for the miniimal of assistance. Maybe just having your waters broken would be enough, especially as you are already a good 5.
Hopefully you won't need any assistance though. There is still time for a lot of things to change.

 

[OnjNairne]

Sooo, uhm.... just a suggestion.... but your cervix is already soft, so the semen isn't all that necessary. It's really just the O that you are looking for to help kick-start contractions. So, if hubby isn't in the mood, there ARE other ways for this to happen!! Might be worth a shot!

 

[ericacaca]

Men are just so practical aren't they! Generally speaking they just want to get the job done! I reckon he is just as impatient as you but is dealing in it in a different way.

Have you got an exercise ball to sit on and get things moving? Or go for a few short walks - make OH go with you.

My friend swore that drinking loads of pineapple juice got her going! Another one just had a really hot curry.... I don't know... worth a try! xxx

 

[xdxxtx]

Sooo, uhm.... just a suggestion.... but your cervix is already soft, so the semen isn't all that necessary. It's really just the O that you are looking for to help kick-start contractions. So, if hubby isn't in the mood, there ARE other ways for this to happen!! Might be worth a shot!

Yes!!! Also nipple stimulation might do it, too. There are also pressure points - two near your ankle and one in the webbing between your thumb and index finger. I used the one in my hands to get contractions going with my first baby - they didn't lead to labor, but I was not dilated at all at the time.

https://www.justmommies.com/pregnancy/labor-and-childbirth/pressure-points-to-induce-labor

 

[emalou90]

Sooo, uhm.... just a suggestion.... but your cervix is already soft, so the semen isn't all that necessary. It's really just the O that you are looking for to help kick-start contractions. So, if hubby isn't in the mood, there ARE other ways for this to happen!! Might be worth a shot!

That's what I was going to suggest
Get yourself some time aloooooone and see what happens!

Sorry that you're feeling a bit miserable but baby won't be long, wether he/she needs help to arrive or not xxx

 

[Diana5241]

You know men. They always want to "fix" the problem...I'm sure he can't comprehend why you want to prolong the wait for the baby! He doesn't understand our desire for the natural process.

But just hang in there as best as you can and know you're in good company...I was 40+5 and ended up being induced as I had low waters. I'm hoping to go into labor naturally this time, but I have to say that despite things not being "perfect" with my first delivery the end result was perfect for me... My baby boy arrived safely.

 

[Misscalais]

I know it doesn't help but a due date is just an estimate give or take 2 weeks. Don't focus on your due date, focus on the end is near. You won't be pregnant for much longer and that's exciting! Go for a big walk, have a relaxing bath, fix up any little things that might need to be done/cleaned before baby comes, do some squats, get on the birthing ball, self love if you can that O will help, and if you can get hubby in the mood at the end of the day get him to finish inside and let that semen work it's magic.
I'm amazed that you're so dialated before even being in labour at all so that's great!
I really hope things start for you soon, try to keep as active as you can. Gravity will help
Good luck!
I went 5 days over with DS2 it was the pits, I had a big walk with my mum and DS1 the day before going into labour and DTD that night and that kicked it off for me I went into labour at 5am the next morning

 

[Jezzielin]

Thanks everyone!

I had my appointment today, he can stretch me to 5cm now but without steady contractions or really any for that matter.

To start, I do have to say my OB is wonderful. He is very democratic and not forceful in decisions but does make valid points and reasonable options. He provided such, what I call, a 'zen-like' experience with my first birth (let us be very involved, low lights, calming voice) and really makes it a point to making it as relaxing as possible.

Having said that, he did bring up the idea of induction. He prefers that I do not go over 41 weeks but does have women in his practice that have gone to 42 but brought up the morbidity/mortality curve changes after 41 weeks. I asked many questions, including what he would do.

With my first my look pressure was up between 160-180 so they had to keep me. After much pushback from myself, I agreed to a Cooks catheter to help mechanically, not chemically, dilate me. After a few hours I went from 2cm to 6cm but not steaduly contracting. My water did end up breaking on its own (which I was very happy about) but without any contractions, I got the pit at 6. Wow.... Wow. Needless to say an epidural was gotten at 10cm.

Going back to today's visit, I told asked if it would be the same plan if induced. He said I was too dilated for a catheter. Now being 5cm, anterior, he's saying -2 with bulging waters (which he said were SO bulging he wished he had a shaper nail to just pop it), he thinks breaking my water would suffice. BUT then I asked how long he would give me before starting pit to contract. He said probably only 2 hours. I was like - Seems like not enough time!

He suggested an induction if nothing by 41 weeks, even said I could tomorrow if I was tired of pregnancy, but I said no. I am going in Monday for monitoring, at 40+4 and more discussion. If agreeable, he'd induce me Monday if I haven't gone by then.

To be honest, I am considering it. I know I don't want to go past 42 weeks, 40+4 doesn't seem to be terrible but I feel like I need the stipulation of longer wait time before pit. Mi just don't want it again. I made it to nearly pushing without an epidural and really feel like I could have done it without if it wasnt for the pit kicking it into high gear (I had a contraction that lasted 4 minutes and just back to back to back!).

Anyway, what do you ladies think? He is really a wonderful OB and I do trust him, and of course I want my body to go naturally but come Monday, I just don't know how I will feel. He feels like since this is not my first and having such a favorable cervix at this point - it will be more like a nudge than anything else with the waters. Then again, who knows.

As of today, I cleaned my house like crazy! Moved furniture to vaccum, scrubbed floors, got feeling so sore and low. I did stairs and even got my hubby to the bedroom before bed tonight! Some mild contractions, but nothing I am getting excited over.

Anyway, what do you think? :/

 

[lillypad123]

Good luck, hope you go soon. No advice to get those waters popped, i would just be doing lots of walking and bouncing on a exercise ball that may help

 

[Willo]

Could you disscuss wuth him giving you a bit more time between breaking waters and starting pitocin? Would he move on that at all? At the end of the day, there is every chance that your body could go into labour by itself still but if not and you decide to have waters broken then given a bit of time there is every chance that those contractions will start up after that.

 

[Misscalais]

Yeah I'd never go to 42 weeks, booking in for 41 sounds good to me if bub hasn't come by then. I reckon once your waters were broken that would start things
Good luck Hun! I'm glad you got hubby to the bedroom looking forward to seeing an update from you, hopefully soon

 

[Jezzielin]

Thanks! He would be agreeable I think to giving me more time. I don't know about 12 hours, but maybe more than two. I hate even negotiating but he said once I'd get back 12 hours, he starts antibiotics, so maybe since I am covered, he'd let me go closer to that? He is very reasonable though.

He really hit the nail on the head though. He was like, "Dear, you have such a 'do it on my own' ethic. In your personality, work, etc. I know you want to do it all on your own, it's part of who you are and anything less you think of as a personal disappointment and personal failure." LOL. It is so true. That's exactly how I see it.

I was contracting a few hours every 10 minutes last night, the most since Sunday but went away. I'm running out of things to clean!!! But time to keep moving and see what I can get going today.

My pelvis is so sore todayyy, not to mention my legs from doing the stairs!

 

[xdxxtx]

You're doing a great job holding out and working HARD to bring on that labor. I really, really hope it happens for you and am thinking of you. Your doctor sounds fantastic & just perfect for you.

Both times I went into labor, I was just relaxing... Completely relaxed... The first time, I was laying in bed, watching TV. The second time, I was sitting on my birthing ball, playing a game of Spades with my mom, sister and OH. We were laughing and having a great time together, and all the sudden I started contracting. If work-work-work doesn't help, maybe some relaxation and perhaps even meditation - think yourself into labor. Who knows? If nothing else is working, it's worth trying.