Dull pink blood. I'm out; giving up

[HushHush]

Well it's time to say farewell and wish everyone else much better luck!

After 5 days of being late for AF, tonight I had some intense cramping and then finally a gush of dull pink blood. I'm throwing the towel in as I cannot keep going through this after 2.5 years. So close, yet no dice.

So I will finish my glass of wine and attempt to sleep in the living room chair as SO is sound asleep in bed and I have no desire to even be near him. Probably the end of that relationship as well. Too much pain involved.

I truly wish the best for all you hopeful mommies to be! ❤

Sending baby dust in spirit
Xoxox

 

[Gypsy99]

So sorry that you are feeling that way. I know it's been incredibly hard for me taking nearly a year with no dice here either! I've felt like throwing in the towel a few times especially when DH was being un-supportive. I completely understand the tiredness and the depression each time that BFN crosses in front of us, and then the hopeful "no AF isn't here yet there still is a chance" etc etc etc. No wonder we all go a little mad with it all and sometimes just cry ourselves to sleep because all we really want is to hold that little bundle in our arms and it should be much easier than the way it has been. I am lucky to have two already, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Sorry for the rant, but it is more me saying there are many of us in the same shoes as you and we all feel your pain. You have been incredibly strong for trying for the amount of time that you have. my thoughts are with you with whatever happens.

 

[Eziana]

I'm so sorry Hush hush. I can only imagine how frustrated and discouraged you are right now. AF is such a bitch for getting your hopes up for 5 days like that! You're in my prayers. I hope everything turns out okay for you.

 

[HushHush]

Thank you, both. I appreciate the compassion and encouragement you are sending my way. I really needed thay❤ are either of you having better luck?

I had hoped it was just some early spotting or something of the sort, but no luck. This physical pain though, is unlike anything I have experienced. Not "menstrual cramping" at all, but stabbing pains that have dropped me to the ground 4 times already today. I will say I am no baby to pain, and have extremely hard periods. This isn't like those. I have a slight elevated temperature, dizzy and sick. Thinking something is wrong, but without insurance I don't go to the hospital unless needed. Any thoughts?

 

[Eziana]

Hmm, if you keep having these painful "drop you to the ground" symptoms I would seriously consider going to the hospital or urgent care. I mean you wouldn't want it to turn out to be something really serious that keeps getting worse as time goes by. On the other hand, I understand about the insurance issue. You hate to pay for your hospital visit and then it turns out to be nothing! Do you have a doctor that you visit somewhat regularly, maybe you could call them. I'm not sure if doctors charge for giving you advice over the phone or not. Meanwhile, give it a few days, if you can, take it easy, get lots of rest and take good care of yourself!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[Starkette]

HushHush look up online where the closest planned parenthood is to you. They will help you find out what's going on and I believe they are free or highly discounted and take anyone, insurance or not. Get checked out.

 

[mnelson815]

I can understand that again going to the hospital for nothing without insurance would be very hard to do, but with the types of pains you are experiencing and with AF being late I would worry about a possible ectopic and wouldn't want to risk losing a tube. I hope you can find a way to go get checked somewhere to ensure that isn't the case?

 

[HushHush]

Hello everyone!

Thank you for your concerns, kind words, and helpful advice. It got so bad that it was apparent something was truly wrong and I needed to go to the hospital this evening.

I did have a miscarriage, it was very early on. It is sad and disappointing, but I have changed my mind on trying and will be considering it again. Right now my body is just tired and sore. Discovered 3 medium size cysts (4cm) between my 2 ovaries and one somewhere else. Really, I should remember what they said but my head was reeling.

I think I may post my whole story on a new thread, it may give some insight to others. At the very least, it will help me get some "closure".

Again, thank you all❤