Dumped by my friends :(

[Kitty23]

I feel so let down by my friends. I know my hormones probably don't help

I was supposed to go to two hen nights this week, organised before I got pregnant, I probably wouldn't be able to go to them but instead of asking me if I was still coming, both the girls just ignored me and didnt tell me the times or anything! How rude is that?

And now one of the hen do girls still hasnt sent me my invitation for the wedding despite the wedding being this saturday. I am so hurt. This girl and I were very good friends.

I just feel like no one has bothered with me since I've been pregnant, I feel like a complete loser. I understand I've obviously changed a bit but texting me back or popping round for a cup of coffee doesnt take much. I am just dreading going back to work now as I feel let down by them all. We were all such good mates before.

Anyway else been royally dumped by their friends whilst being pregnant?
xxx

 

[terridee69]

Yep, I know exactly how you feel......

If I didn't call my friends then they wouldn't bother to call me and 2 of my friends are pregnant themselves.... It's almost like cause I'm not going out getting drunk with them every weekend that we're not friends anymore.

One of my friends that is pregnant, we are 5 days apart, all she does is moan all the time about feeling bad and she refuses to go out and do things, but at least I still bother to call her even though she doesn't bother to call me....

Rant over... thanks for the opportunity

 

[MiniKat]

Totally!!

I do feel im doing all the chasing, and then i get comments like we thought you would be too tired etc!

Im pregnant not dead!!

My biggest let down has been my best friend who is also pregnant who didnt come to my wedding as she was too tired.
Unfortunatly we are no longer friends.

 

[terridee69]

Totally!!

I do feel im doing all the chasing, and then i get comments like we thought you would be too tired etc!

Im pregnant not dead!!

My biggest let down has been my best friend who is also pregnant who didnt come to my wedding as she was too tired.
Unfortunatly we are no longer friends.

I can completely understand that.... It's really annoying me that I'm hearing that excuse all the time, "I don't wanna come out incase something happens I don't know when this LO will get here" YOU'VE GOT 5 WEEKS LEFT HE'S NOT COMING YET!!!!

Do some people just stay in from the moment they are pregnant! Whats the harm in meeting for a quiet chat or lunch???

 

[EternalRose]

Hun, its better you find out now what they are really like then later on in your life with more years gone past THINKING they were real friends. I know it hurts but they really have done you a favour. Life is too short to be worried about people who dont really give a damn, and Im not chasing anyone pregnant or not pregnant.

I think some people think that as soon as you get pregnant you dont have any interests apart from your baby or in your case babies but its the biggest load of rubbish ever. As much as I want my baby, I do like talking about other things as well and going out for meals and just being me if you know what I mean. I think its quite a common assumption but it doesnt mean that its ok for them to just drop you like a hot potato!

 

[EternalRose]

Totally!!

I do feel im doing all the chasing, and then i get comments like we thought you would be too tired etc!

Im pregnant not dead!!

My biggest let down has been my best friend who is also pregnant who didnt come to my wedding as she was too tired.
Unfortunatly we are no longer friends.

Wow, thats really bad hun...Its not even a valid excuse really..tiredness? If that was truly the case she could have just come for an hour and then left but to not come at all and she called herself your best friend? Big hugs hun xx

 

[Miss_Bump]

Awwww sorry to hear this hun

I have a 'friend' like this too... Didnt come to my baby shower, didnt come to my birthday, text me happy birthday a day late and my BF is being un Usher at their wedding (he is good friends with her BF) but i wont be suprised if i dont get an invite!

Oh well, like ER said rather we find out now!!!

xx

 

[MiniKat]

Totally!!

I do feel im doing all the chasing, and then i get comments like we thought you would be too tired etc!

Im pregnant not dead!!

My biggest let down has been my best friend who is also pregnant who didnt come to my wedding as she was too tired.
Unfortunatly we are no longer friends.

Wow, thats really bad hun...Its not even a valid excuse really..tiredness? If that was truly the case she could have just come for an hour and then left but to not come at all and she called herself your best friend? Big hugs hun xx

My point exactly and we are only 2 weeks apart so if i could deal with the tiredness so could she!?

I know everyone pregnancies are different, and i could go round and round in circles with this one, at the end of the day if someone lets you down it hurts, whether you are preganant or not!!

 

[cinnamum]

all of my mates have moved away for uni courses and still call but not very often, i feel let down but i love being a loner with my boo~boo. lol
i have my 4 VERY good friends and they're all that matter to me. my husbands friends aren't that much better tbh. they are as reliable as the weather forecast.

don't let it get to you hun, once baby is here it'll go right over your head.
and... the oppertunity to meet new friends at meet mums etc is great fun xxx

 

[chatts]

If they don't bother then they're not really true friends and you'll meet onthers thorugh the baby that are.

I went to a hen night this sat just for the meal part (they'd be out since lunch making some video and were heading to kareoke and club after) where I had to travel 2 hours to meet them and 90 mins to get home but I went for the girl who's getting married and she really appreciated it - and I had a lovely meal. I think it's too easy to be lazy and use it as an excuse, I want to do whatever I still can before LO is here and it's not so easy to get out.

 

[oboeverity]

I got married last August, and haven't spoken to my Chief BM since I miscarried a month later. Or her sister, or her partner. I lost three good friends, mainly, I guess, due to achange in priorities. I felt let down because she couldn't cope with my needs post MMC, but I just needed an ear...

Anyway, I still haven't spoken to any of them, and it's months later. I have other friends, who are interested and encouraging, and although I was devastated at the time, I now know that it was better for it all to happen when it did. None of the ladies I fell out with want marriage or families, so naturally, we've grown apart.
xx

 

[Kitty23]

Thanks guys glad to know I'm not alone! Your right it won't matter when the twins are here, its just sad that they think I'm no fun anymore. I guess I'll just join mother and baby groups and meet people through that xxx

 

[madasa]

I think it's worse when the friends haven't had kids and are not pregnant... they think you can't do anything, must be busy with baby stuff or something.... and you're in a different place to them, so they are not sure what to talk to you about.... Or they think you will be on Planet Baby the whole time or something. I found I had to do a lot of the running to keep in touch with friends when I was pregnant last time,, this time it hasn't been so bad. It sucks, sometimes it's because they weren't that good friends in the 1st place, but sometimes it's just a misunderstanding because they aren't in the same place as you are right now.

 

[mommy-in-june]

I moved to the southern US about 3 years ago, and had a big group of VERY close friends up north. We were keeping in fairly good touch until I got pregnant... which is the one time I thought I might hear from them most! Instead, I've been sitting here wondering where the hell all my buddies are, and why they don't ask how I'm feeling/how the baby is/etc. Even from my "best friend" I left behind up there, I get very little communication at all. It's gotten to me and made me sad sometimes. Other times, it makes me mad. I can't believe what used to be such caring people are acting this way. I am glad I have my loving fiance, and my family here, but what's up with friends falling off the face of the earth when you need them most?

 

[chief's wife]

they are not your friends at all. you might be surprised that they did not know you could be 'everywoman' and are shocked you could handle it. do not chase anyone. you cannot force people to care for you .just take it as an opportunity to know who really are your friends and who wants to make you feel that what should be a source of happiness should be like a handicap to you. please do not allow it get to you move on with your baby and forget about them completely. such bad friends are the type that will be making passes at your husband or bf when you are pregnant and flaunt themselves at him. cut them off completely they are not worth it