Ectopic pregnancy/mourning help?

[UNPINK]

i had 2 mos of heavy/painful bleeding. i assumed it was a normal (but heavy) period.
i waited, thinking my body/period was changing w/ age (38).
pain became unbearable, so i made appt w/ obgyn.

i was diagnosed w/ an ectopic pregnancy on 10/17/17 (hcg level 45,421 and measured at 6-7 wks).
rec'd methatrexate injection the following morning and bloodwork every 4 days. dr advised against surgery (i do not have children yet).

embryo has detached from my tube but did not shrink in size.
bleeding/pain became manageable and eventually almost stopped.
my hcg level is now 10,483. next ultrasound is on mon 11/06/17.

then today, the cramping has returned and i'm beginning to bleed/spot.
is this normal?

i was not planning for pregnancy...i was actually trying to prevent it.
however, watching other women in dr office excited about their ultrasounds while i have to watch mine slowly die/dissolve has put me in an un-explainable mood/depression. is this normal? am i just (still) hormonal? any advice?

 

[Unexpected212]

Everything your feeling is normal xx

sorry for your loss, this pregnancy was unexpected but if anything had happened I would be mourning

 

[Scout]

I've ever had an ectopic, but I've had 3 miscarriages and the feelings you are having are normal. I actually think/wish OB's had a separate waiting area for women experiencing a loss. I remember how upset I was sitting there with all those happy pregnant women while I was losing mine. So sorry this happened.

About the bleeding and cramping almost stopping and then starting up again, with my miscarriages I didn't experience that. Once the horrible (labor like) cramping finished, I didn't have anymore that severe. Once my bleeding stopped, I do recall spotting for, what seems, at least a week or so, but I don't think it ever started back as heavy bleeding or even normal flow like bleeding.