Enjoying beautiful sunrise at beach comtemplating whether or not to stay with...?

[lcmorla]

The Father of my unborn child. I'm three months pregnant today!

So I got off work late last night and OH and I planned to watch a movie when I am off. We both work in downtown and so he stayed in downtown to have drinks with his co-workers. Fine by me. I call him once I'm work and he tells me to meet him where he is. As I'm walking there, he's saying goodbye to his co-workers and I caught him hugging a girl goodbye for quite a while and they were rocking back and forth. I walked up to him and threw my glass of Orange juice at him and then I confronted the girl.

It was just a hug and I shouldn't be so upset but it was longer than a friendly hug and they were rocking back and forth. OH of course apologizes and says it was just friendly and he didn't mean anything by it. But that's not the point. The point is that I was disrespected by him and his lady friend. She knows about me. I know nothing about her besides the fast that she lives with my boyfriend's co-worker.

I really don't know what to do. I haven't slept all night. The flirtatious hug keeps replaying in my head.

I drove 2 hours to get to this beautiful beach to clear my head

 

[kiwilove]

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I'm sorry you are having a difficult time right now and am hoping that the beautiful sunrise is calming your nerves some. There is obviously a reason you felt the way you did, as you stated the hug was longer then a friendly hug. And I completely understand the way you acted. Our hormones are all over the place and I know me for one is quite impatient, and I get angry fast. Which normally is not me.
I'm sorry I have no good advice but just know that I think you did not over react. I really hope you guys make it through this!! Good luck

 

[rosegarden620]

Aside from last nights incident (which I agree I would be equally upset)....how are things?

 

[lcmorla]

Thank you ladies. That really means a lot to me. I just got home from the beach. I don't intend on speaking to him for awhile. Idk if I want to stay but Idk if it's worth leaving because other than that moment, things are great.

 

[mod19]

I understand your anger on the subject, but if things are great otherwise I'd say try to talk through it. Your hormones are all over the place right now and are kind of uncontrollable (I have zero tolerance for stupid or condescending comments right now and am not afraid to let people know when they're stepping out of line-usually I could care less). I'd say give yourself another day and see how you feel. If he knew you were there I'm sure he wouldn't do anything to hurt you on purpose. Maybe they really are just friends. (I have male friends that I hug more than I hug dh and they are nothing more than friends, I love dh and would never do anything I knew would hurt him)

 

[twinkle90]

I agree with the other ladies, wait for a day or so and see if you still feel the same, your hormones are all over the place and you don't want to make a big mistake, good luck x

 

[minties]

That would have been so upsetting!

Is there any chance that she may have confided in him with some bad news? Maybe it was more of a comforting hug? They are usually a long hug.

I wanted to say I think you atr gorgeous from your profile picture too? He'd be stupid to go do things with another woman.

 

[skyesmom]

i think your hormones got you!

although seeing a long hug could be upsetting (but also, good friends can give you long or longer hugs, especially if you are in need or tell them something important) and even more so when you were sort of "taken by surprise", i think that it's a bit too harsh thinking whether to continue a relationship to him or not just for that.

i mean, what would you tell to your child in a few years? that you've left their dad while still pregnant with them because he hugged a co-workers girlfriend, in otherwise functioning relationship?

i don't mean to be harsh but... calm down. pregnancy can easily get you irrational and whatever decisions you need to make, making them in the moment of anger can very easily lead to wrong choices.

 

[purplecupcake]

Wow. Throwing a drink on someone is assault and you could be arrested for that. Your reaction was completely over the top and uncalled for. If you are in a healthy, trusting relationship, that hug shouldn't have struck a nerve. There is obviously a lot going on besides the hug...trust issues or insecurity or something.

 

[mummy2o]

Wow. Throwing a drink on someone is assault and you could be arrested for that. Your reaction was completely over the top and uncalled for. If you are in a healthy, trusting relationship, that hug shouldn't have struck a nerve. There is obviously a lot going on besides the hug...trust issues or insecurity or something.

As you should remember 1st trimester hormones are the worse, as they are all over the place and your not use to them. So you can't judge her for throwing a drink over her boyfriend. Heck I'd do the same if it was my OH as he was hugging a woman who I didn't know. Its not that I don't trust him, on my part, but more of a jealous thing as he should be spending all his time with me before the baby comes. I know I'm a needy person, but we're fine like this.

Anyway OP don't make any rash decisions. The amount of times I've hated my OH in my last pregnancy and already a couple in this one does make me wonder why we're together at times. Then I remember how much he does do for me and loves his daughter, how he takes care of my son when I feel like crap. Unless he really did something uncalled for like abuse you, he's cheating on you, the relationship isn't working or something along those lines I'd save it until after the baby is born.

 

[THart]

Wow. Throwing a drink on someone is assault and you could be arrested for that. Your reaction was completely over the top and uncalled for. If you are in a healthy, trusting relationship, that hug shouldn't have struck a nerve. There is obviously a lot going on besides the hug...trust issues or insecurity or something.

Wow harsh and judgmental much? Perfect lady you are I bet...

OP, I agree with the others the hormones in first try send everyone out of whack. I since the relationship is good otherwise I would try talking about and how your hormone and emotions are at the moment.

 

[purplecupcake]

So committing a crime is excusable because of hormones?

Interesting.

 

[mod19]

I'm usually not a confrontational person, but as hormones are taking over:

THROWING A DRINK ON OH IS HARDLY A CRIME! My God. Him having orange juice spilled on him isn't going to hurt him. Its not like she threw it in someone she didn't know. My goodness woman she came in here looking for support not judgement. I know that people in Texas think they're all high and mighty (HATE living here and can't wait to move back home) but get off your damn high horse and keep your judgemental comments to yourself ms perfect.

(Tx comment not directed at you normal Texans... Just the self centered ones)

 

[THart]

I'm usually not a confrontational person, but as hormones are taking over:

THROWING A DRINK ON OH IS HARDLY A CRIME! My God. Him having orange juice spilled on him isn't going to hurt him. Its not like she threw it in someone she didn't know. My goodness woman she came in here looking for support not judgement. I know that people in Texas think they're all high and mighty (HATE living here and can't wait to move back home) but get off your damn high horse and keep your judgemental comments to yourself ms perfect.

(Tx comment not directed at you normal Texans... Just the self centered ones)

Couldn't have said it any better. In full agreement here.

 

[minties]

Er yeah...if throwing a drink on someone is an arrestable offense, I'll be waiting at the door for the police. My kids and throw cups of water on each other outside a lot.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I'm usually not a confrontational person, but as hormones are taking over:

THROWING A DRINK ON OH IS HARDLY A CRIME!

Her actions meet the definition of battery, which is a crime.

https://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/battery

OP, I hope you figure things out, and that it was nothing more than an innocent hug.

 

[mod19]

I don't give two $h1ts if her actions meet the definition of anything. The point is she came in here looking for support and people are turning this into a controversial topic. Uh, no. I don't know one bf, oh, dh that would turn their girl in for throwing a drink on them...ESPECIALLY DURING PREGNANCY! And if they do there's way deeper issues going on.

Now let's stop the negative comments and personal critisims (myself included) and offer the op the support she was looking for.

 

[purplecupcake]

I'm usually not a confrontational person, but as hormones are taking over:

THROWING A DRINK ON OH IS HARDLY A CRIME! My God. Him having orange juice spilled on him isn't going to hurt him. Its not like she threw it in someone she didn't know. My goodness woman she came in here looking for support not judgement. I know that people in Texas think they're all high and mighty (HATE living here and can't wait to move back home) but get off your damn high horse and keep your judgemental comments to yourself ms perfect.

(Tx comment not directed at you normal Texans... Just the self centered ones)

LOL, I am not a Texan. Living here short term.

Someone flipping out over a hug is outrageous. Period. And yes, assaulting someone is a CRIME.

 

[purplecupcake]

I don't give two $h1ts if her actions meet the definition of anything. The point is she came in here looking for support and people are turning this into a controversial topic. Uh, no. I don't know one bf, oh, dh that would turn their girl in for throwing a drink on them...ESPECIALLY DURING PREGNANCY! And if they do there's way deeper issues going on.

Now let's stop the negative comments and personal critisims (myself included) and offer the op the support she was looking for.

The point is she is considering leaving him over a HUG. My DH has hugged all my friends, sometimes with a side to side motion as she described, and sometimes even *gasp" accompanied by a kiss on the cheek! The fact is, it's clear there is more going on here. It is not normal, nor healthy, to assault your SO for hugging someone.

 

[mod19]

Lcmorla I hope you figure things out. I'm unsubscribing to this thread on no fault of yours (obviously). Please ignore anything negative people have to say. I'm sure they have nothing else to do than criticize others to make themselves feel better. Do not read into those comments please. I haven't freaked out on dh yet but certainly have on my boss (who was being an absolute jerk). Hormones (actually neurotransmitters in the brain) suck right now and unfortunately there's nothing you can really do about them except wait it out. As I recall you'll be moving onto the second tri soon. Congrats!