Expressing AND breastfeeding

[Tampa]

Hi ladies!

I'm at the tail end of pregnancy and know I want to breastfeed. I bought a single Medela Swing pump as I want to express at least one feed a day, so my partner can be involved in feeding. The midwives at my hospital are dead against mixing bottle and breast because of "nipple confusion". I know a few mums who have mixed it up since birth (with formula, not expressing) without problems.

Has anyone have experience of expressing a bottle a day? And when is best to express - after a feed, time of day, at what age?

Also, which bottle nipples are best for new baby in terms of not becoming confused?

Thanks in advance!

X

 

[Kiddo]

Once breast feeding is established then you should be able to use bottles as well without any issues. Every mum and baby is different though. With Harvey we started expressed milk at about 4 weeks but Vincent was on the odd bottle of ebm from 2 weeks. It can be done but don't be disappointed if you don't manage to express a full bottle every day though, pumps don't get as much milk out as babies do and it's not uncommon to only get an ounce or 2 per session. Ideally you should pump while oh is feeding lo so your body knows it needs milk at that time. I've always found i get most milk if i pump in the early hours of the morning but realistically it's not handy getting up to pump at 3am when you're knackered.

 

[TigerLady]

So many moms get stuck on the idea of "expressing one feed per day so OH can feed baby." I was one of them!!

Looking back, it was a pointless hang up. The reality is most Dads loose interest in feeding baby very quickly. And they find other ways to bond more effectively with baby than 1 bottle feed per day. The annoyance of pumping, cleaning, organizing that one bottle feed per day is just not worth the limited pay off. BF babies often don't want the bottle because BF is about so much more than hunger satiation to them. They don't get the other aspects of it when Dad gives them a bottle, so they are fussy about it. Dad gets annoyed, baby gets annoyed, mom gets annoyed. Dad ends up bonding through cuddles, bath time, baby wearing, motor skill development, and a variety of other options. Feeding quickly goes by the way side and is left to mom.

I've seen that more often than I can count! My DH fed our DS from a bottle for about a week, then didn't really want to anymore. By the time DD came along, he avoided feeding her unless he had no other choice. Even when he was watching her while I was out, he would do everything he could to distract her if she started to get hungry until I got home. Then, as soon as I walked in the door, he would say, "She needs to eat now."

That is so opposite of what I pictured! When pg with our fist I had visions of him snuggled up to his baby, feeding him a bottle, gazing into his little face. LOL Yeah, that never happened.

On the other hand, DH has been a super father! He's always spent loads of time working with the kids to develop their motor skills and reach their milestones. He's been the main bath giver and has gotten the kids used to water and taught them to love it (they both love swimming now). He takes them out in the yard with him and does the gardening and landscaping and flower planting. Those are the kinds of things he's used to bond with them. Not feeding a bottle.

So, relax about it. Give it at least 4-6 weeks. Then if OH really wants to bottle feed, give it a try. But don't be surprised if OH isn't into it. And don't pressure him to be or make him feel like a bad dad if he doesn't want to feed the baby. He's not.

 

[summer rain]

I agree with tigerlady; for pretty much all men the novelty soon wears off. I don't know why but there is a big fixation in this society that feeding is the only way for dads (and grandparents etc) to bond, its a unique cultural hang up that just doesn't seem to exist in other societies and simply isn't true either. Feeding is such a small part of LOs daily routine overall. Also in the newborn period bottles can take a good hour to give, its not like an older baby who can down a bottle in 10-15 minutes xx

 

[ConstanceEL]

I ended up expressing for 7 months as Daniel would not breastfeed properly during the day. Night time I breastfed him, but he could only do a few minutes at a time and it may be why he kept waking up all the time. I fould breastfeeding easier though as you don't have the trouble of washing up and sterilising bottes. The more you breastfeed or express the more milk you produce. The best way to do it is to express when the baby is due a feed and while it is being bottle fed by daddy (bit tricky the first time round, but that is the best idea if you want your breasts working well). Daniel never had nipple confusion, even though he had his first bottle straight away in the hospital. I'm not sure why everyone thinks babies can't learn to do both things.

 

[summer rain]

No offence but your LO not latching on during the day or bobbing on and off the breast may well have been due to nipple confusion, perhaps if you hadn't given a bottle from day one you may not have needed to virtually exclusively express. Nipple confusion isn't just babies refusing the breast altogether but altering how they latch or feed in any way, due to the differences between bottle and breast xx

 

[Tampa]

I was kind of hoping that regularly expressing a feed might make it easier when the baby needs to be bottle fed - eg if I go out one evening, or if the circumstance arises that I need to go back to work sooner than later (I'd still like to provide breast milk one way or another up to 6 months).

Does this sound unattainable?

 

[TigerLady]

Absolutely! If you need to express on occasion in order to go out or back to work, it is totally doable. I did it. Because I am in the US, I had crap maternity leave and had to go back to work when my babies were 3 months old and still EBF. I pumped 2-3 times per day at work and they got 2-3 bottle feeds per day by their caregiver.

If you anticipate needing to do the occasional expressed feed, introducing a bottle now and again is not a bad idea. Get a good bottle for BF babies (BreastFlow are my personal favorite). Try expressing after you feel like you have settled into BF well (probably 4-6 weeks). Build up a bit of a feed (2-3 oz), then offer the bottle when baby is hungry but not starving. Hopefully baby will take it well. Most do, some don't. Then, offer a bottle a couple of times per week so baby remains used to it. When baby is getting a bottle feed, express. This might be a productive way for OH to offer a bottle.

I just wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to worry about the bottle feeding. Allow it to come comfortably when you and baby are ready. If, for some reason, baby doesn't take well to the bottle, there are other things you can do. But don't worry about that unless it happens. Most babies will take a bottle reasonably well. My DS took them VERY well. My DD didn't really care for them but would take enough from the bottle to satiate her hunger when she really had to.

Again, get the right bottle to help minimize nipple confusion.

 

[summer rain]

The majority of babies do have no problem taking a bottle if you try for the first time at some point around 6 weeks, if you leave it much longer than this; or have big gaps between occasions when you express they may refuse a bottle. Its very unlikely that your baby will have problems accepting a bottle if you try the earliest that is recommended, but if you give bottles too early there is quite a big risk that it will cause nipple confusion, and it can interfere with your supply as well, a very common problem is causing a huge oversupply because in the first few weeks expressing really triggers off milk production on a massive scale. The other extreme is you express in the first six weeks but do not express at or around the same time as giving the expressed milk; this will cause you supply to not be stimulated enough; and since the pattern for long term milk production is set down in the first six weeks it may cause long term undersupply; once your supply is established (usually around 6 weeks) this isn't so much of a problem. xx

 

[Tampa]

Thanks folks - I have more information here than I've gained from my midwife, breastfeeding workshop and health visitor!

Really appreciate it. X

 

[MissMuffet08]

I have a preemie and unfortunately was not able to breastfeed in the early stages as she was only getting food from a tube. All preemies must learn to eat from a bottle before they can leave. However, they are very pro breastfeeding so they have lactation consultants come in and watch/teach you how to breastfeed the baby. Because she was a preemie it was hard for her to latch on so for a while she only had expressed milk from a bottle. However she breastfeeds fine now and takes a bottle with no issues. Since I did not have a full term baby and didn't have the luxury of only bfing from the beginning I can only speak for my experience and my dd didn't have any nipple confusion. When she is hungry she eats whether it be from my breast or from the bottle. Early on when she was in the NICU I pumped every 2-3 hours. Now I pump about every 5 hours (as I am back at work) and DH has her during the day so it is necessary for him to be able to feed her. If he is bored by it that is tough because waiting for me to get home to nurse her 8 hours later is not an option LOL!

 

[Kiddo]

It's totally doable to express for when you're not about or even if you just want a nice long bath or an early night. Vincent gets at least one bottle of ebm a week but normally more than that. I was just saying that you might not be able to express enough for bottle feeding every day, especially if you're busy looking after the baby all day while oh is at work so not to set your heart on it. As others have said, you'll probably find that if you're about then your oh would rather you do the feed as it means lo isn't crying while the bottle is prepared. Plus you might like to keep your stash of frozen milk for baby sitter to use

 

[Rachel_C]

I agree about dads losing interest quickly! With my first we were told we HAD to supplement with formula in a bottle (stupid doctors) and I didn't know any better so we did. By three weeks, my LO totally refused the breast and it is VERY very difficult to force a baby to latch on, in fact you just can't. (You can encourage it, which I didn't know about then, but you can't force a boob in a baby's mouth and make them suck it like you can with a bottle - that's why people say you can't teach them to do both, especially if they're young) But anyway, at first my OH was like "Don't worry about it, you tried and now at least I can help with feeding". He was really happy that he could now help out and 'bond with the baby'. She was 3 weeks old then, she's just turned 2 and I can count on my fingers the number of night feeds he ever did, and if you lend me your fingers and toes I can count the number of day feeds he actually wanted/volunteered to do. She is a proper little daddy's girl though, despite that fact that he hardly ever fed her. So I really wouldn't be too keen to introduce EBM for somebody else's sake. If you want to do it, do it for yourself because with expressing you're effectively breastfeeding (the time you spend pumping, which will most likely be longer than you would feed for, to get the same volume of milk) and bottle feeding (all the washing, sterilising etc - it gets old pretty quickly!).

Now my OH is asking me to express some milk so he can bottle feed our second child (5 weeks old) some milk to help me out and so he can be involved. So far I've just said no as there is no real need. Some time soon I may express a little and let him try, but no more than once a week, just to get her used to a bottle if ever she needs it. Or maybe we'll just wait until 4 months when she can use a cup/beaker anyway. It's really not that long.

 

[whistle]

I have a preemie and unfortunately was not able to breastfeed in the early stages as she was only getting food from a tube. All preemies must learn to eat from a bottle before they can leave. However, they are very pro breastfeeding so they have lactation consultants come in and watch/teach you how to breastfeed the baby. Because she was a preemie it was hard for her to latch on so for a while she only had expressed milk from a bottle. However she breastfeeds fine now and takes a bottle with no issues. Since I did not have a full term baby and didn't have the luxury of only bfing from the beginning I can only speak for my experience and my dd didn't have any nipple confusion. When she is hungry she eats whether it be from my breast or from the bottle. Early on when she was in the NICU I pumped every 2-3 hours. Now I pump about every 5 hours (as I am back at work) and DH has her during the day so it is necessary for him to be able to feed her. If he is bored by it that is tough because waiting for me to get home to nurse her 8 hours later is not an option LOL!

Agree with this. In our hospital there was no requirement to bottle feed, just to have all sucking feeds, but my LO had a bottle so that the nurses could feed him when I was at home in the night and had (still has) one bottle a day with medicines, supplements etc etc. He never had any confusion about bottles vs breast - so if your LO needs to have bottles early on it really can work. He's a greedy beggar now and will eat from any style of teat and from any person with no second thought.

However, even though he was tube fed for nearly 3 months, for some reason the first time I saw him having a bottle was really emotional and upsetting for me. I've got used to it now because it's necessary, but I was shocked how sad I felt when my LO turned to a piece of plastic with as much enthusiasm as he usually had for me. I think if he'd not needed to have expressed milk we wouldn't have done it.

 

[Palestrina]

I'm so glad to hear that the nurses at your hospital actually gave you good advice. That's not the case for most of us. Introducing a bottle here and there is not such a bad idea although you won't be making much milk in the beginning and the baby needs to feed so often I couldn't imagine taking any of that away from him to put in a bottle. Don't expect one full bottle feeding everyday in the beginning, collect a little bit of milk every day and save it for one good feeding per week or so.

Also, try to enjoy BF and keep it for yourself. The notion of exclusive BF only lasts 6months at the most, it's really not a long period of time in the grand scheme of things. After that anyone you like will be able to feed baby whenever you need them to. That's how I think of it, I treasure this time when only I can feed my baby and nobody else. Don't get me wrong, I espress every day for my freezer stash for the days when I work and LO needs a bottle. But when I'm home the idea of someone else feeding my baby actually repulses me, can't explain why.

 

[Holpop]

I've been breastfeeding & expressing since Week 1 as I'm not confident about breastfeeding in public. I figured that if I could express then I'd be able to give breast milk in favour of formula when we're out & about. I haven't yet worked out when's the best time to express but in a 20mins stint (10 mins on either breast), I manage to express anywhere between 90-120mls. It's not a lot but it does the trick. I try to express once a day & I'm hoping to build a fridge/freezer collection.

On the bottle front, I initially tried the one that came with the Medela Swing but my LO struggled. I then tried Dr Brown's ones (I'd bought these at the start as they were recommended by lots of friends etc) & she didn't have a problem. She feeds happily from these & we haven't looked back. I hope this helps & good luck finding what works for your LO, x

 

[paperz]

We had to offer my daughter formula top ups after breastfeeding in her first couple of days as she was born at home a bit early and was small... If she had lost any weight the midwives would have been required to put her in hospital, so we did the top up to be sure that didn't happen. We finger fed her (put a pinky finger in her mouth - fingernail side down - and 'inject' the milk slowly into her mouth using a syringe) and it went really well. The midwives assured me this would avoid any nipple confusion. They also told me that if I wanted to introduce a bottle at any point to do it before 6 weeks, as after that point some babies will be so used to only breastfeeding that they will refuse a bottle altogether. Also, they say it is easier if you get dad to give the bottles in the beginning so baby doesn't get confused and wonder why mommy isn't giving him a real nipple, although I had no issues giving my daughter a bottle. I find my husband isn't patient enough to get through a whole bottle feeding - he tends to think she is done the first time she pulls away from the nipple - but he really enjoyed the finger feeding and would timidly ask me every time 'can I do it?'. It was very sweet!

I started expressing breastmilk at five weeks as we had moved abroad and I wasn't comfortable breastfeeding in public, and since then I have built up a good freezer stash and I continue to express almost every day. On the days when I use a bottle of expressed milk I find I am able to express the same amount again and replace the bottle I used up, and then also breastfeed my daughter afterward. The thing I really wish I'd known before I started expressing was that sometimes it can take several minutes for the let-down reflex to kick in. I will sit and pump with hardly anything coming out, but then once the reflex kicks in I can easily fill a bottle. So perseverence is key!!

 

[Tampa]

Honestly everyone - I'm so so grateful for all this information! so glad I signed up to this website. It's been a lifeline!