Family disapproving of OH, marriage and baby...Long but need advice please!!!

[TattooedMama]

So my dad is a hardass, always has been. He treats me like I'm a frickin idiot and don't know anything about life when I'll be 24 this year, about to have my second child and on my second marriage. My first marriage ended terribly, it was a big mess and I needed help-he doesnt want me to go through that again, I get it.

Now my dad calls today & he's supposed to be co-signing for a car for us(he offered/insisted when he found out we went to a bad credit place & were ganna sign a terrible deal). Well my hubby & I were fighting this morning so when my dad called I said I wasnt having a good day...he asked why and I know he hates listening to BS like that so I said dont worry about it but he asked again. I told him my hubby has PTSD and a bad temper, we had a huge fight and he put a hole in the wall. My dad begins cussing me out telling me what a fucking moron I am, how I married another psycho loser & now I'm stuck and that I'm waiting to give birth to his child..... he went on about how I should have just took off with my son when I had the chance and now I ruined my life. I'm so sick of dealing with him, I HAVE to talk to him because hes supposed to help us get a car & right now we have none thanks to his advice. Yes hubby and I fought, it was bad & he lost his temper terribly but WTF?! My dad has his own temper from hell, used to hit my mom when he was younger...I remember it as a kid. I know I'm his daughter but my hubby doesnt hit me or my son so i dont see where he gets off being so judgmental. Of course none of this makes me feel good at 9mos pregnant on top of my already shitty last 2wks. To top it all off now my dad is saying he shouldnt come visit after the baby is born because he will probably just beat up my husband

 

[dannyboygirl]

So my dad is a hardass, always has been. He treats me like I'm a frickin idiot and don't know anything about life when I'll be 24 this year, about to have my second child and on my second marriage. My first marriage ended terribly, it was a big mess and I needed help-he doesnt want me to go through that again, I get it.

Now my dad calls today & he's supposed to be co-signing for a car for us(he offered/insisted when he found out we went to a bad credit place & were ganna sign a terrible deal). Well my hubby & I were fighting this morning so when my dad called I said I wasnt having a good day...he asked why and I know he hates listening to BS like that so I said dont worry about it but he asked again. I told him my hubby has PTSD and a bad temper, we had a huge fight and he put a hole in the wall. My dad begins cussing me out telling me what a fucking moron I am, how I married another psycho loser & now I'm stuck and that I'm waiting to give birth to his child..... he went on about how I should have just took off with my son when I had the chance and now I ruined my life. I'm so sick of dealing with him, I HAVE to talk to him because hes supposed to help us get a car & right now we have none thanks to his advice. Yes hubby and I fought, it was bad & he lost his temper terribly but WTF?! My dad has his own temper from hell, used to hit my mom when he was younger...I remember it as a kid. I know I'm his daughter but my hubby doesnt hit me or my son so i dont see where he gets off being so judgmental. Of course none of this makes me feel good at 9mos pregnant on top of my already shitty last 2wks. To top it all off now my dad is saying he shouldnt come visit after the baby is born because he will probably just beat up my husband

Hello and How are you doing with all this? Im going to give you my opinion on the situation but please dont be offended. I'm a mother/wife also with another due soon. Hub has got to control his temper punching walls n stuff. There are other ways of handling things like walking away and giving him his space. That will help Dad respect hubby too. Also You know your dad has been abusive so he knows how abusive people are probably. He doesn't want his daughter being treated like how he treated whoever. Even though your mad at dad you have 2 options. Talk to your dad about the car situation n make amends. Or your 24 and save money and buy one straight out yourself.. You father is your father and he is trying to help you somehow even though he is being opinionated about it all. Now you have to try to relax and stay stress free. Talk to hub about how you both can work together to accomplish whatever you need to accomplish. Marriage is rough especially when communication suffers..I know you can do this and Im wishing you the best because alot of people dont have parents that care or help them at all...Take care of yourself and take this advice with a grain of salt..

 

[Biscuitbaby]

Awwww hun!

I just wanna give you huge
and a big bar of chocolate
It cant be easy and I wont preach to you! ...and easier said than done but you need to chill for you and your unborns sake!

 

[bellablue]

hello hun your dad probally is just concerned about you he knows first hand how fights can get out of hand so he is looking out for you. Your husband will have to learn how to deal with his temper cause there are kids around and you don't want them seeing that type of behavior or they will start acting that way im sure everything will boil down and dad will help you out you are his daughter he loves you good luck hun!

 

[butterfly23]

There are many things wrong with this scenario. No-one likes to hear their dad preach, but, understand that he seems to love you and is trying to look after your best interest.

How would you feel if your LO told you on the phone that their DH was punching holes in the wall in anger while she were 9 months pregnant with your grandchild? What if her DH, was taking on debt at rediculous levels and did not seem financiallyl savvy enough to take care of your child/grandchild?

If you dont want your dad to get too involved in your life, stop involving him in all your decisions etc. Knowing what he does - that your SO has a temper etc - he is reacting as any normal father would. I like to think, I would not turn a blind eye if my LO was in that situation.

 

[dannyboygirl]

Anyways...I hope that everything gets better for you and that you get the advice you needed from more point of views. Hearing many different views always help me out. Congrats on number 2 too..