Family, In-Laws and Friends

[StorkStalker]

Hi everyone, I tried to find a thread that touched the topic on how people act when they figure out that yours is going to be a LTTC story...
At the beginning of our journey, we told everyone who asked we were already TTC.. Some people then asked if we had news yet after a while... With closest friends and family we began sharing the badvnews, so they were on the know of the state of things... Other friends realized it and stopped asking..
I am very close to my family although I live an ocean apart, and they have been supportive, but it's hard for parents to get it, they just support our keeping trying and hear me out when I go down in flames...
With friends it has been specially rough, since we are all on that age were we all began thinking baby time!! Many of my friends decided to distance theirselves from us God knows why when they began having babies... I swear no frowny faces on our part... I think they felt awkward around us and our struggle.. Of course our closests friends have been there all along, but mainly now after so long they stopped asking where we are or what's next... They find it specially hard to announce a pregnancy and then whether to invite us to yet another baby shower or just cut us off...
I have about 3 different groups of friends, and "lucky" me, it seems that on each group I am the one out of 6 women struggling with infertility... If I have not been to a thousand baby showers I don't know how many... Of course I'm happy for my friends, but I can tell things become awkward.. Also we've had some friends just quitting on us because they don't believe in assisted conception whatsoever, if god meant to give us a baby he would have... Ok, we dont need friends like that anyway.. It's our battle and were fighting it with all we can...

Oh, the in laws... That is another whole set of emotions, because although we have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility, my hubby's sperm count is ok so everyone, Including me, assume whatever the problem is it's on my part.. So, my MIL blames me for not having grandkids yet, (DH is an only child), she was cruel when I mc and told me lots of hurtful things then... And wasn't at all supportive afterwards with any of our treatments, now she and DH have just had a fight that ended with her telling DH that I'm a useless woman who can not even have kids... It's the most hurtful thing someone has ever said about me out loud because it is the hardest thing I've had to think about myself too... She is married (although not to DH's father) so the stepFIL stays away so he won't get caught in the middle of any conflict... As I said DH is an only child so that's as far as the in laws go.. Well there is the grandma but I think she is unable to comprehend the full situation...

So, I would like to hear about your friends, family and in laws stories on your LTTC journey... And wish you all the luck in the world for a BfP soon!!

 

[Jennifer01]

Hello,
Sorry you are having such a hard time, and have to deal with an unsupportive mil. I have told next to no one that I even want to have one. I just don't want to deal with everyones (even well meaning) opinions. So I don't have any stories really! Good luck to you with everything, I hope your bfp is just around the corner!

 

[StorkStalker]

Thanks for your support Jennifer01.. I think it would had been great for us not to tell almost anyone about our TTC.. We were so excited and thought it would happen in a snap.. I used to be so careful with birth control.. Who knew I could have not bothered ;-) Wishing you the best of luck too.. And thanks again..

 

[NavyWife84]

Hi StorkStalker. I'm so sorry you are having a hard time with this. I, too, told people when we started ttc, thinking it would happen in a snap (but just family and close friends). My brother has 2 sons, got his wife pregnant 3 times on the first time trying each time, unfortunately m/c the 1st; and my sister got pregnant the first month she started ttc. So, naturally, I would have no problem, right?! WRONG!!!

Anyway, my family is super supportive and my mom goes to some of my appts with me b/c she has a medical background and can tell when I don't understand something but I am too afraid to ask. However, my MIL drives me crazy! When we started ttc, she cried for a half an hour b/c we didn't tell her until 6 months in (when I was going away with her, would be sharing a room with her, and didn't want her to question my temp check every morning). I wanted DH to tell her b/c I thought it was something special he should tell her. She waited to do the crying until it was just me and her in the car...dh couldn't make the trip. Before all the crying, she told dh that SHE wasn't ready to be a grandmother and dh had a lot of growing up to do...we are in our late 20s and had been married for over 2 years at that point! She also kept crying through the weekend that we were away, making it really awkward since we were staying with family friends. A couple of weeks later, we were celebrating Easter with dh's family. In front of dh's aunt and uncle, she asked if we were going to tell the family our "news". I asked her what news? and she responded that we were trying. I said that there was nothing to tell and she told me that "at least grandma and grandpa have the right to know". After the bickering continued for a few minutes, dh's aunt chimed in, "Tell them what, that a married couple is having sex?!" Thank goodness for dh's aunt!
We haven't talked about it since, but since we are now seeing a fertility specialist, I told dh that he needs to tell his mom so that she doesn't freak out about us not telling her. She says that when we don't tell her things she feels like we are keeping secrets from her and she hates secrets!

Sorry this is so long and it doesn't exactly fit what you are looking for, but I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone! My dh is also an only child (although mil would kill me for saying that...dh's brother died of SIDS so I am supposed to say that he is the only LIVING child, but I feel mentioning that all the time makes it depressing, but that is a whole other issue!) Anyway, good luck hun and don't let your MIL drive you too crazy!

Oh yeah, and stop blaming yourself. Infertiltiy is a disease! If you had cancer, you wouldn't blame yourself for making your loved ones sad b/c it isn't like you meant to get cancer. You have no control over the fact that you are unexplained infertile, so don't get so down on yourself!

 

[Armywife84]

You realize that those "friends" (using that term loosely) who don't care to understand your infertility struggle, aren't friends worth having. Infertility is hard enough to explain. I'm sure you've explained it to them and your corrective actions but if they don't place themselves in your shoes for just a minute, then that's not your problem.

I applaud you for attending baby showers still. I give up on those about a year ago. Instead, I pick something out online and snail mail their gift.

We're really not friends with too many couples with children. We just don't find anything in common with people who constantly drone on and on about their children. Unfortunately living in a military town, there's not too many couples who are childless. Too bad the military wives I met on here, aren't based near me.

When it comes to the rents, I'm lucky. My parents haven't badgered me about children and they're supportive of IVF. DH's parents have stopped going on about the grandchildren they already have. Thank goodness, because baby this, baby that was getting on my nerves.

Only issue I have is with my SIL who is currently pregnant with her 3rd and already has Clomid twins. She ovulated but not every month due to too low of estrogen levels, so they put her on Clomid and estrogen pills, low and behold she gets pregnant her first round with twins the 13 month in TTC. I took the news pretty hard because we're the only ones without children and my DH is the oldest. Long story short, I ended up deleting her off FB (that's my coping mechanism and I do it to all my pregnant friends) but sent her a sincere message explaining why. It's FB, not real life. She ended up getting upset but not responding (mind you she knows about my struggle) then has the audacity to message my DH making rude remarks about me. According to her, I was selfish, this was something she won't forget, and that I'm talking to the wrong person about struggling to conceive. EXCUSE ME ?? She hasn't a clue as to what infertility really is!!! So now I have wrote her off and can't call someone like that family. Unfortunate, but we don't have to like all of our in-laws.

Thanks for letting me share, even though I'm not anywhere near 3 1/2 years of LTTC. If it's any consolation, I do have a huge amount of sympathy for those couples who happen to be unexplained. Because of you I try my best to remain humble about my LTTC journey.

Another thing to keep in mind is just because you're unexplained doesn't mean you can't conceive. Doctors never said that you will not ever have children.

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

my inlaws are the worst about it really..i have 2 sets...the first one, bio mom and step dad, dont even know we have been trying...much less about our fertility treatments! they think that you have to meet a certain timeline with life...college, good job, marriage, 7 years to make sure it sticks, kid(s). yeah..NO. so of course they dont have opinions but i always have to make excuses about things to them when they are around (why we dont keep wine in the house, why i dont take pain medication if im hurting etc...im just weird about things in the first place but still)
my other inlaws, bio father and step mom, are HORRIBLE! They started on us the minute we got married, literally at our reception! it continued until my husband finally said point blank..we are working on it, stop asking! it lasted a few months, then started up again. my FIL thinks he is so cute with his "dont you know how to DO IT?" or "maybe you should try a different position" uhg..disgusting. So we finally told them we were in treatment..and they are of course now assuming it is all MY fault and that im the only one with issues when in reality it is both of us!
my parents are fine with a baby, but not fine with our career choice so are angry that we are "taking their granchildren away from them" but they arent too bad about it now.

so i guess im saying your not alone!

 

[Soili]

Oh crap. You guys have it rough with your in-laws! And I thought I was in position to complain. My story is more boring. I've only recently told my mom about PCOS and about us looking into fertility treatments and she's as supportive as a mom can get. I feel a lot better now that I have an actual person I could share news with. Like when my FS appointment letter came in, I phoned her right away. I don't know how much my dad knows. If it's anything, then it's my mom who told him. But I think he probably is clueless, I think it's the whole thing about female anatomy and single thought of his daughter having sex altogether

My in-laws. Well, FIL is not very well, so I think it's the least thing he would be interested in. MIL... well, as I said I thought I had it bad, until I read your stories. I did tell her we were TTC, and she appeared genuinely surprised by it, as in "Really?". We're only been married for 7 years and only in your 30s, so I guess that's too early? Until then she loved to hint about the lack of children. I don't think she knows what she wants anyway. Thank goodness, she's polite enough not to be asking anything. She knows I hate it when people are being noisy about my personal life, so she's kept safe distance there

We don't have that many friends we socialize with often, but a lot of them do have children already. It's cool though somehow. I was actually more jealous before we were TTC, when I would find out someone got pregnant, because I wanted to try and DH wasn't ready for kids. These days I think I find it worst to hear about celebrities getting pregnant. Like that Mel B with her "it happened so soon, I guess we really wanted it". UGH!! OR Rachel Zoe who didn't even wanna have kids at all.

 

[Jazavac]

We've only been trying for three months and we already know from the month before that, while I was still on the pill, that we might have a hard time conceiving (low AMH, mild oligospermia).

My mother and sister, as well as the two closes friends (all of my family and friends live across the ocean) found out right away. Here, I don't really have any close friends so people know some random information, more or less detailed or accurate.

In-laws know as well, since I actually had my MIL come with me to a few appointments (took me a while to figure out the insurance system, which I hate). I'm not sure if they know we're actually actively trying, though.

 

[laurenann184]

I understand now how infertility can change the dynamics of friendships. My friends haven't really distanced themselves from me, its actually the opposite. We decided not to tell anyone we were ttc, but after 6 or 8 months I broke down, and told my two closest friends, Sometimes they would ask how it was going, and one time I freaked out and said if there was news I would tell you. So they don't ask anymore, and I get annoyed talking about it with them.
I also get annoyed when my friends complain about these non-sense problems they have, all the gossip and petty things that freak my single friends out makes me feel distant from them... like the stuff we are worried about is worlds apart.
When I do try to talk about things (like mentioning that I was excited we were going to see a fertility specialist) they don't respond back much, probably because they know I am like a mad women and are afraid of how I will react. Which makes me always question, why did I tell them in the first place.
The thing with our friends, and family, that I try to convey is that infertility is a touchy subject, sometimes I want to talk about it, and sometimes I don't. I don't need anyone to say anything, I just need them to listen to me vent. If my friends realized that I think we would be as close as we were.
Best wishes to you. I know how it feels, I tell DH all the time how I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but it would be nice to have one friend that knows what you are going through.

 

[cooch]

Wow your mil is a witch!!! I thought mine was bad.

DH commented to FIL that he didn't think there was any justice as we had done everything according to the book and our lives are so ready for a baby and we have to go through this (his youngest sis announced her 'accident' recently) his own father replied-what do you call justice?

His mother said its not God's will for us. I really just want to punch both of them soooo hard.

 

[nevernormal]

Wow sounds like you have it kind of rough!

We never told anyone we were TTC initially. Eventually my family figured out that we weren't preventing anymore, as I would accidently say something to my mom or sister like "when I was on BC, I didn't..." pms, cramp, etc. So then my mom and sister were asking me every time they spoke to me if I was pregnant yet... ugh.

We also had some friends get married two weeks before us, and another set of friends 4 months after us (the wife is my best friend). We knew that the ones who got married before us started TTC 3-4 months after they got married, as they didn't hesitate to tell anyone, and got pregnant 7-8 months later. My best friend and her hubby were going to wait at least a year before they started trying, but Ooops! 8 months in and their baby is 4 months old now. Anyway, naturally the question was when it was OUR turn.. and it was usually said in joking ways, but it just kind of got to me after a while. After all, if I'd gotten pregnant on my first cycle TTC, my due date would've been 1 day after my best friend's.

Finally I confided in my best friend that I knew I couldn't get pregnant without medical help, and I guess she told her husband, as the jokes pretty much stopped (he was one of the main jokers! Not malicious or anything, after we all got married we all joked about racing to have the first kid, or competing to have the most). I also told the wife of the other couple, but even though I explained some of the biology/cycle stuff to her more in detail, she just doesn't get it (and she's studying to be a nurse...).

I told my mom and my sister, and now besides the occasional comment they don't say too much. My mom knew I was going on the clomid, and the first cycle wanted updates like every single day, but after that she calmed down. My sister and I do talk about TTC a little as she got married in May and I know before long they will want to start trying to expand their family... I did jokingly say to her that she couldn't TTC until I went through all 6 cycles of the clomid (or was pregnant), but she and DH haven't come up with any time frame to TTC anyway. I am actually surprised that she isn't trying to compete with me lol. I know that my dad knows, but I don't know what my brother knows, if anything. My mom may have told him that we're having issues, but I don't talk to him about it!

Good grief I decided to be long-winded. One last thing though. I am SO glad my in-laws are clueless about everything we're going through. FIL is a bitter, grumpy control freak and I can't imagine the horrible things he'd say about me if he knew we were struggling to conceive. Probably that it's God's judgment on us for getting married when he didn't want DH to marry me, or because I'm not as submissive as he thinks I should be. I do believe children will come in God's timing, but FIL thinks he can read God's mind at times, idk. But yeah, super glad they don't have a clue!

 

[anniehope]

Sounds horrible, however I don't think this is uncommon with mothers and their sons. In our situation it appears that the issue is connected to my husband through his SA - however even if we did share what we are going through (which I never would as he would tell everyone) - she would still want to blame me, and say the issue was with me. Try not to let it affect you , your DH will know what your MIL said was out of order and will side on your side. Your MIL will lose out.

 

[LizMcD]

Sorry to hear about ur MIL u deserve so much better! Keep ur chin up. My hubby refuses to tell his parents yet my folks know everything. And luckily have been soooo supportive. Mum said it's unfair we have to go through this but will get our baby I wish Dh would tell his parents cos his bro is also ttc 18 months on with no joy and it could be a heredity condition!

Like u its difficult with friends cos I told most people, others guessed! So they've stopped asking and feel slightly awkward. I had to distance myself frm preg friends. It's tough cos I feel embarrassed now friends know. Even family don't ask me any more so maybe they know.

Its weird how ur relationships change and u almost go into a shell to protect urself! I admit I became v anti-social when I hit 1yr ttc it was tough, but I'm trying to be brave and sociable again, show my face in the hope we will have news soon.

Good luck, hope u get ur much deserved bfp soon xx

 

[anniehope]

LizMcD - interesting you have told your family everything, but his nothing. My mother and my sister know we are trying, but my Mum has guessed more from some of the things we have implied. It wasn't really helpful, as I felt she implied that we werent having sex enough -and also mocked someone that monitors when they are ovulating, as why would this be important, they just need to have sex every day....I have never discussed my sex life with my mother so she has no idea whether I already have sex every day/every other day etc.

Also my Mum (being a good Mum) always wants to solve my problems - however this one she can't! Also I feel that she doesn't agree with IVF and if we are referred down that path I want it to be our decision based on the moraility of this issue not my Mum's opinion.

The difficult thing for me is that my inlaws know the background about the op my husband had to have when he was a little boy but we can't ask them whether they were told that his sperm count would be lower as an adult, as then they will know our secret.

 

[Soili]

-and also mocked someone that monitors when they are ovulating, as why would this be important, they just need to have sex every day....

Every day? Well, I see how that can maybe work for a month... Are there really people who can do it every day for months and not get tired of it??

 

[Maurie]

Hi ladies,
As some of you know I have had an internal struggle as to who to tell. One day I feel I am just going to tell anyone who mentions it, the next day I dont feel they need to know.

I have told my mom and my sister who are both very supportive. They were continuing to tell me to relax until one day a sat down and told them EVERYTHING we were doing to try and that relaxing isn't a part of it. They will now only ask about it when I am the first to bring it up, they will then feel comfortable to talk about it. My sister is awesome, (we share same dad different moms) our dad and my moms 25th anniversary party was on Saturday and her boyfriend asked her to marry him on Wednesday.... she Facebook announced the engagement so that would be the news in the family rather than when we were going to have a baby. . . Love her. Her mom was shopping with us and said something about baby and to relax... I about cried. . . I was so angry I told her that had nothing to do with it we have tried that and are not moving on to intervention and getting help. . . She felt bad and apologized.

My In-laws are a little different with their comments. I have read a lot of in-laws are uneducated about it and therefore don't know how to support. My in-laws are over educated. FIL is a family physician and MIL a nurse who ran their practice. . . They ask about it every so often and discuss the as they say "infertility thing" They have told us their is no reason we should be having trouble...(we have been diagnosed as Unexplained). MIL even had the audacity to say there is no reason we need to have the stress from infertility.... we shouldn't even call it infertility. My FIL asks about my cycle and things like that, WEIRD! but he is a good doctor and I tell him about it. I have considered asking my MIL to go to a follow up appointment to get results but then I will not have any control over the information they will get so I usually go alone or with DH.

I am sorry about the ignorance of people... I hope you find the support you need.

 

[StorkStalker]

Thanks everyone for sharing.. this struggle is hard... Right now as we approach Christmas (which is my most favorite holiday of all) I should be planning our going home to my parent´s (right now we live in France, parents in Mexico and PIL in Spain), so we had chosen Mexico due to my MIL being way out of line and not apologizing at all... But I am feeling for the very first time not wanting to go back home... beacuse there are so many many many new babies around, in my family, with my friends... and I am a very good sport about babies and pregnancies, at least I always feel happy and supportive, and congratulate everyone as due... But if we spend our two week holiday there we are already invited to 2 couples baby showers, one baptism, one birthday party, and of course we would have to go around town visiting the new borns... Soo not feeling like going through that now... I feel like the Christmas baby grinch... and everybody will ask us when we will decide to quit living the "good life" (as the little friends who don´t know we are TTC refer to us not having babies) and I will feel like crying.. so DH suggests a different vacation, a let´s go to the other side of the world together or something... but my parents would be crushed!! And I do love family Christmas time!!! Ahghh... I so wish I would be pregnant before December, then I would most definitely not mind not going anywhere (I know flights are safe in pregnancies but I would take any care I could) and then have my 9month wait and then be over the moon and over with all these feelings already... Meanwhile we have to decide what to do... beacause other wise the prices of everything will rise... as if I wasn´t going crazy enough...

Baby dust to you all... and thanks for sharing your in laws and friends stories.. it is nice to know how others handled this... as for me, if I were able to go back to when we first began TTC I would definitely keep quiet...

xxx

 

[sarah1989]

You are not alone, that is for sure. DH and I were not very selective in who we told about ttc'ing, and I really regret that now. I just assumed that things would happen quickly and easily, and that certainly hasn't been the case. In the beginning, we told my in-laws, all of DH's siblings, and a few close friends.

My parents do not know that we are ttc'ing (I should say were, as we are on a break from it, because it became too stressful on us). My family doesn't think now is the right time to be having children, as we are young and haven't been married as long as my parents think we should be before trying to expand our family (my parents were together for 5 years, and married for 4 before they had me).

I have talked to my Mum about some of my problems, but have not directly told her that we are suffering from infertility. I have asked for her advice when it comes to my cycles and hypothyroidism, as my Nana was a nurse, and is very helpful when it comes to calming me down about my worries and fears. I have hinted on about having children, and my whole family knows that from a young age I have wanted a family. Anytime I mention having a Dr's appointment, or mentioned that we had been referred to an reproductive endocrinologist, my Mum kept asking why and if we were having children; knowing her reactions to other things said, I just said it was for my thyroid

My in-laws were ecstatic when we told them we were ttc'ing, and kept saying they couldn't wait to have grandchildren. They told us not to rush things, and that they would come naturally when it was meant to happen. I was relieved hearing this, as I worried they too would feel the same as my parents. For the first few months, every time the came to visit they asked if we had news. This was just the beginning of our ttc regime, so it didn't bother me too much when they asked. Their asking had slowed down quite a bit, but recently MIL mentioned to DH on the phone that she was looking forward to grandchildren. DH just replied "it will happen Mum", not wanting to upset me.

DH's siblings on the other hand, seem to be the most fertile of anyone in the world!! One sibling is currently pregnant with her 3rd, and continually talks about it. Granted part of me is happy for her, but I just do not want to hear about it everyday, or see photo updates of her belly every week. It hurts too much to see it, knowing it isn't us. She means well, but her and I have had our arguments in the past and sometimes I think she is doing all this maliciously, just to upset me more. (Hard to believe someone would actually do that, but out of anyone I know, she would be the most likely)

My other BIL just had his 4th child last week. I was over at their house before the baby came, and we were talking about something completely off topic, and then suddenly it was said "I am so excited for this baby, we have waited so long for him" ... I responded "I am happy for you guys", he then said it took almost 3 months to conceive him, whereas the other kids all he had to do was look at her and she was pregnant. (if that was a slap in the face, I don't know what is). BIL then began to ask when we were having kids... I wanted to cry, DH wasnt there to answer and I didnt know what to say - so I ended up spilling all the beans and told them all about our fertility issues, and their response was "oh, just relax and it will happen" ... unfortunately it isn't that easy! I left not long after that to avoid further upset.

My best friends have been there for me, but are not much support. They are not married, and do not have any children, both come from large families, so I don't think they really understand what we are going through. In the the past, I told them details of what we were going through, but they just responded "it will happen when the time is right" and left it at that. Since then we haven't really spoken much about it.

DH has a friend, who's girlfriend and I have become very good friends since we got married 2 years ago. She and I are able to talk about anything together, and I feel quite relaxed and comfortable talking to her about our fertility issues. She has been there for me, and offered amazing advice since we told her about our struggles. The type of person that I can call up and just say "can we go for coffee, I need to talk", and she will be there. It has been great having her, and I can say I am glad I told her what we are going through. I wish sometimes she was the only one we told lol.

It appears I have decided to become quite long winded, so I will end it here.

I know my family & friends are not as bad as some stories I read above, so I have you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Just remember: "It’s going to be okay in the end. If it’s not okay. It’s not the end.”

Sending lots of in your directions!

 

[Armywife84]

Thanks everyone for sharing.. this struggle is hard... Right now as we approach Christmas (which is my most favorite holiday of all) I should be planning our going home to my parent´s (right now we live in France, parents in Mexico and PIL in Spain), so we had chosen Mexico due to my MIL being way out of line and not apologizing at all... But I am feeling for the very first time not wanting to go back home... beacuse there are so many many many new babies around, in my family, with my friends... and I am a very good sport about babies and pregnancies, at least I always feel happy and supportive, and congratulate everyone as due... But if we spend our two week holiday there we are already invited to 2 couples baby showers, one baptism, one birthday party, and of course we would have to go around town visiting the new borns... Soo not feeling like going through that now... I feel like the Christmas baby grinch... and everybody will ask us when we will decide to quit living the "good life" (as the little friends who don´t know we are TTC refer to us not having babies) and I will feel like crying.. so DH suggests a different vacation, a let´s go to the other side of the world together or something... but my parents would be crushed!! And I do love family Christmas time!!! Ahghh... I so wish I would be pregnant before December, then I would most definitely not mind not going anywhere (I know flights are safe in pregnancies but I would take any care I could) and then have my 9month wait and then be over the moon and over with all these feelings already... Meanwhile we have to decide what to do... beacause other wise the prices of everything will rise... as if I wasn´t going crazy enough...

Baby dust to you all... and thanks for sharing your in laws and friends stories.. it is nice to know how others handled this... as for me, if I were able to go back to when we first began TTC I would definitely keep quiet...

xxx

Christmas baby grinch, that's cute and funny ! I definitely think it would be alright to go somewhere else for Christmas..you don't have to spend every Christmas with your families. I think the holidays are going to be rough for all of us, because all we want for Christmas is a !!!!

I'm kinda depressed that there's only 3 months left in 2011 for me to get pregnant. Oh well, what can you do ?

Thanksgiving and Christmas will be difficult for me too. I will be faced with my rude SIL. Which at this point, I can't put on a fake face and be nice to here after she's been so insensitive. So it's looks like I won't be spending much time with my in-laws. Or I'm hoping they won't make it in because it will be too close to her due date.

Either way I don't want to see her and her belly, when I'm still getting s . Sometimes, I hate the holidays. I think I'm the Christmas grinch!

 

[StorkStalker]

Sarah1989 thank you for sharing your story, I am so glad you have that one friend to talk to.. That's great... I am a newbie in this town so haven't made so many friends yet, at least not confidentees..

I can relate to so many parts of every story that I feel less alone, this site is so amazing...

ArmyWife84 you made me smile by not being alone in the Christmas Baby Grinch club.. I soo wish we could all get our BFP before December... I am tired of being told to relax, to enjoy this time *excuse me enjoy & relax how exactly?..

I loved reading that if it's not ok then it's not the end..

I think it will be my motto now!!

And I'm seriously considering a tropical Christmas holiday as DH suggests, should be nice...

I hate that on top of our struggle, us girls LTTC, on holidays we are forced to face rude in laws and annoying comments and unasked-for expert advice from the BIL/friend who "knocked up" the wife using a condom and ON the pill...

Baby dust to you all and hope to readyou again soon LOL

xoxo