family members and my pregnancy

[eris]

Found out yesterday my aunt was complaining to my 17 year old daughter about my pregnancy. I realize they won't all be happy for me, but really? Complaining to my kid about it? Telling my daughter it was gross and I would be 50 with a 15 year old at home. And that my daughter will be so much older than the baby. Wtf business it of hers? I am actually really upset about this and I don't know why. I'm debating confronting her about it or just letting it go and letting her be a negative nancy on her own.

 

[pandi77]

I would tell her she's entitled to her opinion but to keep it to herself and not share her negativity with your children. It's one thing to have some sort of antiquated perspective on mothering from her era of raising a family but it's another entirely to try to pass on such backwards thinking to a young impressionable mind. What message does that send to your daughter if she chooses to be a mother later in life? The trend is going that way so people can either accept it or get out of the way imo.

 

[smile83]

Sorry to hear that you have people who feel the need to voice there negatively and not just keep it to themselves also how horrid of her to bitch about it to your 17 year old.
I would have to speak to her and tell her if she's not got anything positive to say then do not comment at all especially to your child.

And what you'll be 50 with a 15 year old its not like your going to be 50 with a newborn its none of her business.

My husband will be nearly 56 when our babies are 15 and 17 years old.

 

[eris]

I would tell her she's entitled to her opinion but to keep it to herself and not share her negativity with your children. It's one thing to have some sort of antiquated perspective on mothering from her era of raising a family but it's another entirely to try to pass on such backwards thinking to a young impressionable mind. What message does that send to your daughter if she chooses to be a mother later in life? The trend is going that way so people can either accept it or get out of the way imo.

Exactly, I told my daughter that many women were waiting until they were older to have children. She can just be miserable on her own.

Sorry to hear that you have people who feel the need to voice there negatively and not just keep it to themselves also how horrid of her to bitch about it to your 17 year old.
I would have to speak to her and tell her if she's not got anything positive to say then do not comment at all especially to your child.

And what you'll be 50 with a 15 year old its not like your going to be 50 with a newborn its none of her business.

My husband will be nearly 56 when our babies are 15 and 17 years old.

The thing is, I hardly talk to her and I saw her for the first time in 7 years back in October so where does she get off saying these things? My daughter was with her over the summer so they became close, but geez she should act like a grown up and not bitch to a kid.

 

[N27murray]

I think a lot of people share her opinion about being an older mother...and I guess that's fine even though I don't quite understand it.

my mom will be 50 this year and these are the ages of her 4 kids... 29, 24 (me), 10, 8. ....now THATS an age gap. But she couldn't be happier...50 is NOT old...shes in better shape and has more energy than a LOT of young moms. So this is probably why I don't understand her opinion, although I DO understand that lots of people think this way. If it bothered you mainly that she was discussing it with your daughter, then I would say something. If its just upsetting that she's never mentioned it to you, maybe let it go and let her deal with it.

 

[fandabby]

Don't let it spoil how you feel. People do comment about being older.

I'm going to be 43 a couple of weeks after this lil babe is born and stuff what others think. I started baby making at 36 so later in life.

I fell pregnant last year and unfortunately mmc but heck my own twin told me I was too old, what was I thinking, school runs in my 60's bla bla bla. No compassion just negativity. Not told him this time around, what's the point, know what he thinks, don't want to hear it.

If people are negative may be they are jealous, not your problem, so let her deal with it.

I would be tempted to ask her to keep her opinions to herself. You don't want her impressing on your daughter....

Good luck.

 

[MissyBee]

She sounds like a very unhappy person :/
I mean, how much must she dislike her own life to spend the time complaining about yours? Honestly, I would think that if you are able to conceive and carry a child later on when you've become more financially stable, that would be a blessing and how could anyone fault you for choosing such a good time in life to have a baby?

Also, that's really screwed up that she's bad mouthing you to your child. So uncalled for.

 

[PhotoPassion]

My mom was 34 when she had me and my brother was 16. I never thought of my parents as seeming old to be honest. I'm 27 now, and I STILL don't really think they are that old I would say that my brother and I aren't the closest due to the age gap, but there were never really any issues due to when my parents chose to have me and I think my brother likes having a little sister. It always seemed normal to me and so I'm sure it will be fine for your little one. Your aunt is probably just one of those who likes to see the negative in everything.

 

[eris]

Thanks ladies, my daughter pretty much asked me the same thing. "Why is she so negative?!" I would say she's just one of those people that like being miserable so it's easy for her to find negative things to say about others.

It still bothers me, but I have to take the situation for what it is. Her being an unhappy person and finding fault with everyone else to make her feel better about herself and her situation. At least my daughter was able to see through that and realize that my aunt just likes being negative.