Father of baby attending prenatal appointments

[Fizzyfefe]

Hi girls, I was just wondering which of your appointments your hubbies/significant others/partners will be attending. We are expecting our first. My hubby went with me to the first appointment and we were able to view the first ultrasound together. We held hands the whole time and it was a very special moment. At my next appointment, I will be twelve weeks. They didn't specify what would be done at that time.

We were just wondering if it is appropriate for him to attend all of them, or only some. What's your opinion? What will your partners do? He will have to take off from work for any appointment, since they are during the work week. I would love for him to be there to hear the heartbeat for the first time, or to be there for support if anything was wrong.

 

[orangedaisy]

For our 1st hubby was at every appointment. For the 2nd, he was at most of them. For this 3rd one, I'm not sure since someone has to watch the 2 kids while I'm at the appointment lol.

 

[AlyssaANDjosh]

My husband went to all of my appointments for our first pregnancy. If you want him there, and he can take off work, then he should come. My husband is off doing training this time around, so he missed our first appointment, I don't think I am getting an ultrasound at my 12 week so I don't know if he will come to that one either.

 

[MollyNorwood]

my DH was with me for our first midwife/hospital book in appointment, and so far all of my ultrasounds. he has only been to one Dr appointment with me and that was to get the results of the 12week scan where they check for down syndrome etc.
He will be at the all day birthing/parental class, i think thats it. He is there for all the important ones so that is great

 

[Bookity]

My husband went to all of my appointments with the first two. I don't know if that will be the case this time. I kind of wouldn't mind a little space this time? LOL Like maybe get a minute to myself when appointments over and get a milkshake or something. LOL

 

[Captain]

This is our first and hopefully he will be at every major appointment! He works away with a two week out, one week home schedule.

I scheduled my hour appointment (family history and smear) with my ob for when he's home next week but I had to cancel it as we're going out of town as soon as he gets home. The only other appointment I could get was for the morning before he gets home! Hopefully it's the only one he misses!

 

[GalvanBaby]

Mine will be attending all of my appointments unless he for some reason can't make it. He works for himself so I don;t see that being a problem though. LOL

 

[Betheney]

I think it really depends on the couple. My husband only comes to the 12week and 20week ultrasound. We both never saw the point in him coming to all the other appointments. My doctor would just take my blood pressure then measure my stomache then send me on my way. Hubby would of needed to take 3 hours out of work to attend so it just seemed silly to us.

But many others want and love their partners at the appointments so it all comes down to what you would want and what he would want.

 

[Keera1Aiden2]

With our first DH came to every appointment, the second he came to the first one and every ultrasound and this baby just ultrasounds

 

[moonbear]

I haven't gone to my first yet, but SO and I have already agreed we want to both be there for the appointments. He has other children but was never allowed to participate in the pregnancies, so i want him to be included as much as possible.

 

[Anh1982]

My husband just came to the big appointments with our first, ultrasounds, first time hearing the heartbeat. And I got him to come with when I had to do the glucose drink for company This time he'll probably just come to the gender determining ultrasound since his work schedule is more demanding now.

 

[RaspberryK]

Dh has only ever come to scans unless he was already off work or when my midwife called in at home.
Xx

 

[lynnikins]

My husband came to the scans and big appointments for the first , just the scans for the second and not even those for the 3rd and 4th as somebody had to watch the kids. I doubt he will get to appointments this time either unless we can find someone to watch the kids then I would like him at the scans

 

[linz1988]

12 and 20 week scan are most important id say

 

[Kyliem87]

With our first he came to the scans only (12 weeks and 20 weeks) the rest I did on my own. I had all my midwife appointments alone, all extra hospital visits alone (even an early scan due to an MMC I went to with my dad) and then from around 28 weeks I was in hospital 3 times a week and I did all of that on my own too

This time will be pretty much the same. He's with me for my scan on Friday (early scan at 6+5) then will be with me for the 12 and 20 week scan. All midwife and hospital appointments I will do alone. I get very poorly in pregnancy and end up with a ton of appointments and additional monitoring. Anything to worry about or if I'm nervous my mam comes along to

 

[LisaL79]

At the 12w appointment they should do another ultrasound.

Anyway, my own will be attending all ultrasound appointments.
Thankfully they told us which ones those would be.
Most other appointments are just routine things. Urine sample, weight, blood pressure, etc. And then finding hb on doppler.. so no reason for DH to come.

 

[swanxxsong]

For my first pregnancy, my husband attended almost all of my appointments. At the 8 week it was a lot of family history so he came. My ultrasound was at 12 weeks so he attended that. As I got further along and they were closer together, he didn't come to EVERY one as it was a lot of time he had to miss for work when all they did was a weight check, pee check, vaginal check and send me on my way. He would have gladly come, but I insisted he not worry about making up his time just to see me get weighed. But every person is different!

This pregnancy, my midwife is around the corner from his work so he plans to be at every appointment, or almost every appointment, unless something crazy comes up at work (he's in the midst of a huge law suit atm between two of his clients). But he knows which ones are the landmark ones -- he came to the first, he'll come to the 12-week HB check and 12-week ultrasounds (two sep appts this time), 20 week scan, etc. I mostly need his help wrangling our two-year-old this time around! LOL

 

[Selaphyna]

have him attend any that you both want him to attend. It's whatever works out best for you all.

Personally for me, first time around my ex only went to one appointment, the one the day after our 20 week u/s. He lived out of town though by 3 hours and was going to school, so it was hard for him to drive down to go to appointments.

This time around my OH could go to my appointments, but because they are so quick and I'm not there for long, he has only gone to one and that was our u/s at 23 weeks. He will most likely not go to any other due to work unless there is a reason as to why I can't drive myself to my appointments (I don't see that happening). This is his first child, but most of the appointments I'm only seen for maybe 10 min at most, that I don't want to have him leave for for that. He understands this, and is okay with that. I'd let him go if he was adamant about coming though, as that is his right, and I wouldn't deny that to him.

 

[Rhio92]

OH will come to the booking appt, and the scans. And maybe some near the end of the pregnancy. He wants to go to all of them, but we both work shifts and I'm not struggling to fit appts around him when they only last 5 minutes. Plus my midwife is the kind of person I can have a good moan/bitch to

 

[Fizzyfefe]

Thanks for all your input, ladies. Sounds like everyone did something different. I would like him to be there, but it could be unrealistic with his job. Also, it doesn't seem to be necessary to have him there just for a checkup without ultrasounds or anything. I will have to start asking at every appointment what will be done at the next one, just to make sure.