Feel bad for even considering using formula

[babyfromgod]

With my DS i breastfed him for 6 weeks. I gave up due to his horrible reflux and lack of support. Also i found the constant feeding very tough as he would scream when i put him down even just to get myself some breakfast.

This time i am worried how i will cope having a newborn constantly attatched to my boobs as well as a toddler to take care of. If i could barely get myself fed last time how will i be able to feed both of us and feed LO. I just don't want my son to miss out on attention and feel left out. I would like to try breastfeeding but kind of have it in my head that it is going to be too hard with a toddler and am considering formula feeding.

I know breast is best nutritionally but doesn't work for everyone. Does anyone have any friendly advice? Please no judging me

 

[babypeanut25]

Maybe you could pump for a bit? That way baby could get some of the good stuff for the first few weeks...

Not sure if you have ever looked into BF groups in your area. They can be very helpful, i know a few friends found them to be their saving grace at times.

https://www.llli.org/
https://www.lllc.ca/

That being said dont feel bad if you really cant do it

 

[Lollipopbop]

I understand where you're coming from. I really want to breastfeed and I'm really worried about not being able to and using formula but there's nothing wrong with it. Every mother wants her baby well fed and if breastfeeding isn't right then formula is the most sensible option. You could try pumping and if that and breastfeeding doesn't work then don't let it upset you! I need to take my own advice too! xo

 

[babyfromgod]

bump

 

[overcomer79]

I breastfed for six weeks. I work with chemicals so to me pumping wasn't an option as I was scared that it would get in the milk or even vapors would cause issues. I know it will be interesting with a newborn and a toddler but I plan on doing the same with this one.

 

[Mamie]

You have to do what is best for you and your baby. If you are getting stressed out by it all, then that will have an affect on your baby. I tried and tried to BF my first, but it just wasn't working. I managed to express for about 6 weeks so he did get breastmilk and then we went on to formula. He is a very healthy boy and I know that as stressful as the decision was at the time, it was the best one for me, the baby and my OH!

I also wonder how i will juggle a toddler and a newborn, without neglecting myself! Try not to worry about it. Try BF when baby is born, but have a bottle and pump ready in case things don't go right. That's my plan anyway, everyone has to make their own decisions.....no matter how AWFUL the staff in the hospital make you feel......(don't get me started on that one!)

 

[Sunflowergirl]

Aah big hugs for your previous experience. It sounds like it was horrible.

However it doesn't mean that the same is going to happen again this time. It doesn't mean that your new baby will have reflux.

So I would try and keep an open mind and see how things go. Maybe give it a try and see what happens. If it doesn't work then go to formula. I personally would not consider pumping with a newborn and toddler as that is just double the work.

I BFed my first and although it wasn't easy in the early days, I am hoping I will be able to try with this. I am hoping to entertain my toddler with some special toys in a separate bag which just come out during bfing and the ever reliable ceebeebies!

 

[MaybeP]

I know how you feel, I feel so pressured to breastfeed, especially because OH keeps making comments about how expensive formula is and how I neeeeeed to breastfeed but what do I do if I just can't do it??

 

[Torontogal]

You should never feel bad for doing what you need to do. LO needs a happy mommy more than he needs breastmilk. If breastfeeding goes well, bonus!

That's how I see it anyway. I plan on breastfeeding but if I have to supplement with formula or even go to formula full time, so be it. There's so much peer pressure around so many choices when there doesn't really need to be.

 

[Bunnylicious]

if you can afford formula, i guess why not.
they are so so so expensive.

 

[ifoundmysoul]

I will be bottle feeding an i to am worried about being judged but at the end of the day its my decision

 

[stardust599]

I had a very similar experience to you and have the same worries. You know what hun? Let's not worry!

We don't know what will happen. When your baby is born give breastfeeding a shot for a week or so then just take it 1 day at a time and see how you get on. Will your OH have paternity leave?

If it doesn't work out you know you tried and gave your baby the best start in life, that's all I'm doing! Remember that even a few days colustrum is liquid gold to your baby and even if that's all you manage then that's fantastic and well done! xxx

 

[MrsNoMohren]

You should never feel bad for doing what you need to do. LO needs a happy mommy more than he needs breastmilk. If breastfeeding goes well, bonus!

That's how I see it anyway. I plan on breastfeeding but if I have to supplement with formula or even go to formula full time, so be it. There's so much peer pressure around so many choices when there doesn't really need to be.

THIS! Happy environment (aka mommy. hehe) and full belly is what matters the most!

You'll make the right choice.

 

[okmomma]

Everyone can make their own decision to BF or formula feed. With DS I tried BFing and lasted 5 days. It was the worst experience for both of us. Once I decided to formula feed, both of us were much more relaxed and happier. I am not even going to try to BF this one. It is my choice. My son is almost 9 years old and is completely healthy. I just wish there was some way to prevent my milk from coming in this time.

 

[babyfromgod]

Thanks everyone. I am just worried that i will feel so guilty if i don't end up being able to breastfeed. I felt guilty for months afterwards and don't want that to happen again. I will probably go dairy free at the end of my pregnancy just so when my milk comes in it doesn't have cows milk protein in it, as DS had a cows milk protein intolerance which didn't help with his reflux. He ended up on a hypoallergenic formula.

Unfortunately OH will only get a few days off and my mum might take a few days off too. After that i am on my own all day

 

[babyfromgod]

Everyone can make their own decision to BF or formula feed. With DS I tried BFing and lasted 5 days. It was the worst experience for both of us. Once I decided to formula feed, both of us were much more relaxed and happier. I am not even going to try to BF this one. It is my choice. My son is almost 9 years old and is completely healthy. I just wish there was some way to prevent my milk from coming in this time.

I think there is possibly something they can give you to help your milk dry up in hospital but depends how supportive the hospital is about your decision as some are all pro breastfeeding. I put cabbage leaves down my bra which helped my milk dry up

 

[aimee-lou]

It is entirely your decision. What does your partner say? What does your gut say.

You need to follow your heart when it comes to feeding your baby, and you can't be pressured from either side.

Good luck with your LO.

 

[babydoll06]

I've had the same worries.. my daughter turns 4 the month after baby is born and I think breastfeeding him is going to be really really hard.. It's going to be hard enough getting my daughter to adjust to not being the only child anymore. I'm going to aim to bf the first month & if it works out, maybe continue from there, if it doesn't, that's okay too. Your baby isn't going to care if he/she's getting breast or bottle as long as it's getting fed!

 

[Emzywemzy]

I had a very similar experience to you and have the same worries. You know what hun? Let's not worry!

We don't know what will happen. When your baby is born give breastfeeding a shot for a week or so then just take it 1 day at a time and see how you get on. Will your OH have paternity leave?

If it doesn't work out you know you tried and gave your baby the best start in life, that's all I'm doing! Remember that even a few days colustrum is liquid gold to your baby and even if that's all you manage then that's fantastic and well done! xxx

This!

I feel the same as you and only BF Holly for 2 weeks. She was severely jaundiced which made her a poor feeder. I felt guilty and like an inadequate mother for months. I am going to give it a go this time, but won't beat myself up again if it doesn't work out

 

[jenmcn1]

I find that women (not saying women on bnb) but women in general can be very critical on this topic.
I totally see where you are coming from! I have a toddler as well(he will be 3yrs old) when baby arrives...so I get it!
My modo has always been...I will try it, and see how it goes. At the end of the day you need to do what works for YOU. With regards to keeping attention on your toddler...I think this will be the big challenge. My son is HIGHLY active ... what I have thought of doing is...2 mornings a week dropping him off at a kids daycare, to have the social interaction and structured environment, gives both him & I a break...and gives my son the much needed outlet for his energy!
My advice...just go day by day. I think thats all you can do in the beginning anyways...if you feel up to it, you can pump, and if not thats ok!!! HUGS!