Feel guilty for being fat

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by xpatchx, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. xpatchx

    xpatchx Wife, Mummy and pregnant!

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    Grr =(

    When I went to the nurse for my new patient medical when I was 11 weeks she said I was a little overweight but nothingt to worry about.

    I then went to midwife at around....16 weeks. She told me my BMI is too high and I'm obese. My BMI is 31. I've always been tall and heavy, but I just feel crap now I've been put into the "obese" catagory.

    I never thought I looked that overweight, now I don't feel like eating a thing.

    I see all these skinny little pregnant girls and wonder if they're giving their baby a better start than me?

    And now to make matters worse, I have a glucose test for gestational diabetes the day after my birthday in January because of my BMI. Not a happy bunny =(

    Make me feel better?
     
  2. EternalRose

    EternalRose Well-Known Member

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    First of all hugs hun:hugs:

    Seriously though, was she stupid calling a pregnant woman obese?

    Well, my BMI is 37 hun so if your obese Im morbidly obese. I am 5 foot 7 and at 13 and a half stone, I was only a size 14. Anyway, BMI statistics are way out of date why they still use them I dont know. The statistics they used to compile the BMI was done in the 50's our bodies have changed so much since then :dohh:. Anyway, my good GP said weight gain is irrelevant to him in pregnancy and all our bodies are different. Hence our pregnancies will be different, some women retain more water than others for example. They say that having a high BMI puts you as more of a high risk category than others but looking at the medical evidence it seems only marginally so.

    Dont let the silly nurse get you down hun, I have to have a glucose test as well. I dont like the idea of having to do it, but least we can be assured we are doing whats best for our baby. I am rheus negative so I have to have anti-injections as well but thats another story xx
     
  3. ilovecocopops

    ilovecocopops Well-Known Member

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    I dont really know how to help but im sure you are making a lovely home in your tummy for your baby! Some people are just thinner than others, this is life, they will only be sending you for glucose testing for yours and the babys safety. At least be reassured that they are taking good care of you both. All of us are going to put on a bit of excess fat while being pregnant, just try to keep your unhealthy snacks to a minimum. Those small pregnant girls could be eating far worse foods than you and just be lucky that they dont get a fat bum. x Dont feel bad! You are doing an ace job! x
     
  4. mrsraggle

    mrsraggle Wifey & Mummy

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    Mine's 47!! I was terrified people would make me feel bad about it but the way I see it, if my body wasn't in the right condition to get pregnant then I wouldn't've. So far every medical professional hasn't made me feel bad but I have a few appointments to go!

    I also have to have the glucose test which is annoying actually as I have perfect health except for the weight, no sugar in my urine, normal BP. It irritates me that I get a your fat = you will get diabetes.
     
  5. Lilicat

    Lilicat Mother of two boys

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    I know how you feel, my BMI is high so it worries me. I have had (and passed) my glucose tolerance test though and baby is perfectly healthy now at 25 weeks so he is doing ok.
     
  6. hayley_willis

    hayley_willis Well-Known Member

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    My BMI Is only 23 but there's nothing to say I am eating a lot worse than you, I only have a low BMI because I am only 5 ft 3 but all I have eaten is carbs since I found out, my hunger has gone in to over drive, I will probably have put on a lot more weight by the end than someone with a higher BMI !

    Keep your chin up xx
     
  7. EternalRose

    EternalRose Well-Known Member

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    Me too hun :hugs: xx
     
  8. Minstermind

    Minstermind Well-Known Member

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    I wasn't overweight at all during my first pregnancy and I was given the glucose test for gestational diabetes. It's just standard procedure where I was at when I was pregnant before (Las Vegas). So I never would have associated it with being obese before. In fact, this time I'm pregnant (in Ireland) and they weren't even going to do the test had I not told them there is a history of diabetes with a couple women in my family anyway, so I'm getting the test (and feel better for getting it as I would want to know!).

    My bmi is 35 and is at the start of the category called ''seriously obese'', which was a total surprise to me! I too am tall (5'8'') and I am large boned, all of which affects the look and distribution of my weight. I realize I am overweight, even slightly obese, but I wouldn't qualify myself as seriously obese at all nor do I think I look it. But it doesn't matter what any women's bmi is anyway, it's just a method they use to help calculate possible higher risks.

    The risk itself is only marginally higher and with it comes testing for things, and I regard the extra testing as a bonus. There's really no point in beating yourself up over it. We are how we are and you should definitely continue eating as normal while pregnant and don't be tempted to diet or eat less. The way I was told by the midwife, ''Sleep for two and eat for one!'' I like the sound of that. :)
     
  9. td1309

    td1309 Well-Known Member

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    My friend was sharing the same concerns with me the other day as she too is pregnant and came out of her 1st appointment feeling crappy.

    I know the professionals need a simple way of recording everyone's weight/ general health etc but I do think it's worrying that we all get given this number and it is supposed to say everything about your general state of fitness. I have always exercised and I always get people look at me in shock when I tell them my weight as it's always heavier than they think. That's because I am quite toned and muscular and muscle weight is heavier than fat. Also did you know that most of the men in the English rugby team are classed as morbidly obese according to bmi - again due to the fact they are carrying alot of muscle weight.

    And ok, sometimes it will be higher simply due to the fact you are carrying excess fat but I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is much more to weight, health and fitness than simply looking at someone's height and weight. My sister is a size 6-8 and eats junk food everyday. I used to be jealous but learning more about this sort of thing I realised she will be doing other damage to herself and her organs eating the type of foods she eats even if she is lucky enough to store excess fat. Since I explained this to her she has looked at things differently.

    I do think we all have a duty to maintain a healthy lifestyle of sorts whilst pregnant and I am sure you will do what is best by you and your baby - sod what category they put you in bmi wise xxxxxxxxxxx
     
  10. It was the same for me at my first midwife appointment when I was 8 weeks preg, I am only 5 foot 2 and I weighed about 11 stone 8lbs...have piled on weight since my wedding last December!! The midwife told me I am obese as I have a BMI of 30 which made me feel sh*t and I think I also have to have the tests for gestational diabetes. I now weigh about 12 stone 5 so I hate to think what my BMI is! :winkwink: I am trying to eat healthily & do a bit of exercise so hopefully they won't give me too much of a hard time.

    I wouldn't worry about what your midwife said, like Eternal rose said the BMI calculator is out of date & how can they generalise people that way. Don't let it get you down, I am sure you are doing a great job :hugs: xxxxxx
     
  11. mummy2010

    mummy2010 mum of 1 and expecting

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    aww hold your head up chick theres nothing wrong with that. my bmi is 24 and im 5ft 2 but all i eat is crap. stay strong xxx
     
  12. emski803

    emski803 Expecting 1st baby

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    My bmi is 29 and is going to get a whole lot worse during the next few months lol - I dont think they should use your bmi whilst pregnant because its not accurate of course your going to get heavier.... dont feel bad xx
     
  13. Embovstar

    Embovstar Mummy to Isaac 23.04.10

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    I'm a size 18 and overweight yet no fuss has been made of my weight at all. Yes I have to have a GD test, but it is offered to ALL women using the West Middlesex Hospital. I gleefully accepted it since it is to my benefit.

    See that as a positive love x

    As for her attitude. Please don't let it worry you and you certainly do not offer your baby any less than a skinny person x

    Yes things may be "higher risk but like ER said, ONLY slightly.

    I know our baby is TOTALLY comfortable in my belly and will be equally comfy when quished up against me after birth ;)

    Nicola xx
     
  14. bigbloomerz

    bigbloomerz Well-Known Member

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    Hun dont worry about it, I have a high BMI too, I was refered to consultant at the hospital and a dietician because of it, they did naff all! they will probably refer you to an anethatist aswell, i was told i have a fat back. nothing I didnt already know lol.

    Im 5ft 9 and was a size 22 before I got pregnant, I havent put weight on in pregnancy only what the baby is and the stuff that goes with it, ive carried on eating normally and healthily like i was before.
    People treat obesity as an illness, obesity comes from a lot of factors, mainly emotional ones and when people go on about it at you all the time it doesnt exactly help matters.

    Take into account what they say but dont stress about it, dont change yourself just because of medical factors, if you are happy with the way you are then thats all that matters, your baby wants a happy and healthy mummy not a stressed out one hehe.

    :hugs: xx
     
  15. xpatchx

    xpatchx Wife, Mummy and pregnant!

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    Thank you gurlies. I am trying my best to not let it bother me, though I did go to iceland and the green grocers today and get tonnnnes of fruit. If I'm going down with a fat tattoo, I'm GOING DOWN FIGHTING! =)

    Problem is, I hardly eat? How can I not be losing the weight. Now my dad is 6ft6. And he is about 21 stone. He isn't fat at all, it's all muscle and height. People sometimes say that didn't help. But I literally have toast for brekkie, a sandwich and a cookie for lunch and a normal dinner. Sometimes not even any of that! I know they say "don't not eat, you won't lose weight that way" but I've eaten a meal a day for years and still not got lower than around 15 stone. WHYY?!?! I'm eating more now for the baby though.

    See, now, I'm like all you girls who say you've been todl you're overweight or obese and never thought you LOOKED it. I know noone see's the real them, but this was me pre-pregnancy. I was a size 14-16 and I loved my curves!

    https://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f31/xpatchx/n615112022_1257029_3479.jpg

    but when she said my BMI was high, I said "I dunno why, never eat much" and she looked me up and down and went "honestly?" and I thought...cow! [email protected]

    I wouldn't say I looked overweight. GRR. Why do people make us feel we should be a size 10? If we're healthy, and us and our partners love us, why should be have to feel bad for it?
     
  16. EternalRose

    EternalRose Well-Known Member

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    wow hun, you look gorgeous!! I dont know whether I should upload a pic of me pre - pregnancy to show everyone how rediculous they sound when they call us obese! :dohh:
     
  17. xpatchx

    xpatchx Wife, Mummy and pregnant!

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    Upload one. Show me? Please?
     
  18. mummy2010

    mummy2010 mum of 1 and expecting

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    your gorgeous xx
     
  19. EternalRose

    EternalRose Well-Known Member

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    EEEK ok...:blush: So this was me pre - pregnancy at student quarters and I was considered to be nearly obese according to BMI. I am now a stone and a half heavier already :wacko:
     

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  20. mummy2010

    mummy2010 mum of 1 and expecting

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    wow your gorgeous 2 x
     

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