Feel like a crap mum

[Mrs Doddy]

When jess was born I was out of it on gas and air felt very spaced out, I didn't have the skin to skin I wanted as I had a top on didn't take it off and have had trouble with her breastfeeding so at the moment I'm expressing and formula feeding to top up. I've not kept up trying to get her to latch on and have not really had a routinue with the expressing due to tiredness, every day I say this is the day I will start and something always goes wrong

also with expressing how do I go out when it is every three hours or have people over as this disturbs everything- whilst in these early days it doesn't matter I can't stay at home with no company for the next 6/9 months

Has anyone got any advice ?

 

[moomin_troll]

dont feel like a bad mum because ur not.
i was spaced on gas and air n had to have zane taken off me so i cud puke lol my mw actualy pulled my top up to put zane on me which i was happy about.
but the thing that still makes me feel awful is that i couldnt bf for long at all, zane wasnt latching and i was in so much pain, among other stresses i was going thru i gave up at 4 days, so by expresing ur doing a great job as ive heard its not easy.

i dont have any advice, but give urself a break. ur doing ur best and thats good enough for ur baby x

 

[kissikiss]

Gah I don't want to start a debate as I myself know, that ideally breastfeeding is best, but sometimes the pressure it puts on us new mums to do it just makes things worse. I didn't get skin to skin either (only cause I had a forceps delivery and a spinal block, my blood pressure after was only 63/28 and I couldn't hold him) My son latched on right away but my body just didn't produce the amount of milk that he needed. I tried expressing and was told to express about 1/2 hour after I fed to increase my milk supply, but that would literally mean that I would have either a baby or a breast pump attached to me constantly. :/ I did try this, but for me, it just wasn't what was best...because I STILL couldn't produce enough milk, felt inadequate, like my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to do, and exhaustion was killing me. I did combination feeding for awhile after talking to my midwife which definately helped my mental state, but after a month I stopped all together and now my son is exclusively formula fed. I SO wanted to breast feed, but in the end it just wasn't for me or my son. I start up with university again in a few weeks and it just wouldn't be possible to dedicate that much time to upping my milk supply. As I've said in someone else's thread, I'm not suggesting that you stop breastfeeding, but I guess, you probably will have to be 'on demand' either by baby or breast pump for awhile at least, if you want to continue breastfeeding. I wish I had more advice for you

Oh yeah and you aren't a crap mum! xx

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Thankyou both, this feeding thing is alot harder than I thought, didn't think that jess wouldn't take to the breast with it beig such a natural thing I thought she would take to it straight away since I posted I've expressed, had a bath, sterilised all the bottle stuff, cleaned the kitchen, made and eaten breakfast for h and I now I had 10 mins and back on the pump!!

I don't want to stop trying to get my milk into her somehow- I hope by having a rotinue that I stick to it will increase my supply so I can try and get her on the breast, though how I'm going to be able to get up 3 hrly in the night- so far h has done all the 3pm feeds as I've slept through the alarms ! When he goes back to work I have to do all the night feeds as he gets up at 4ish for work and is a driver so it's dangerous for him to be tired, argh I don't know how I am going to cope with this

 

[catfromaus]

honestly, although it does get easier, expressing is tough. There is a thread in the bf section about exclusive bf, it should answer your questions.
Give yourself a few weeks, you'll settle into this. I'm sure you are a brilliant Mum.

Cat

 

[HayleyJA]

Aww Mrs Doddy! Congratulations on your new arrival and I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling like you're a crap Mum! You're already a wonderful Mum - you've done a great job over the last 9 months looking after Jess and you'll continue to a fabulous job every day from now on....

A couple of things that I can advise re: the BF issue, but bear in mind I'm only talking from my experience here...
- When feeding Jess, try to keep her close - skin to skin if possible - even if you're just bottle feeding EBM.
- Try to keep encouraging her to latch though I know from my experience when expressing, finding time to do that along with expressing is almost impossible.
- If you really want to get her onto the breast get yourself to a BF counsellor ASAP. I can't sing their praises enough. I only wish I'd done so sooner.
- Don't beat yourself up about expressing.
- Express earlier in the day for longer... I don't know why (but there is a medical reason as to why) but you produce more milk in the morning and afternoon as opposed to the evening and night times.
- If you want to go out, do. Expressing an hour or two later than planned isn't the end of the world; just don't adjust later expressing sessions - keep it to the original time to help your body 'catch up'.

Ladies in the BF section will be able to advise to a much better standard than me but I hope the above helps a little.

My story was that when April was born (forceps and spinal block birth) I was given a lot of conflicting BF advice in hospital; in one instance by 2 seperate nurses a couple of hours apart! April was latching OK (so I thought) but within a few days I had cracked bleeding nipples and was in agony. I turned to expressing to ease the pain and let the nipples heal. At 2 weeks, I had my first bout of mastitis and was nearly hospitalised after collapsing at the doctors surgery, but continued to express through this. Following the antibiotics, my breasts and nipples really recovered well, so I decided to try and get her back on the breast (at 3 weeks) with the help of an NCT BF counsellor. It worked! But sadly within a another week I had another bout of mastitis. I decided that with antibiotics and painkillers I would grin and bear the engorgement and turn to 100% FF. By this point she'd had 4 weeks of breast milk and though I was devastated it hadn't worked out for us, I was a much happier Mummy and to some extent I felt more independent being able to banish the pump to the cupboard!

I'm not suggesting you give up at all, but I would suggest (from my experience) that exclusive EBM feeding is VERY hard to keep up with. Getting Jess on the breast with some support would be great for you both.

Finally, you will cope with H goes back to work. I'm sure of it. Please get in touch if I can help with anything.

 

[katrina1987]

My little boy would not latch on to my breast, So I did the next best option of expressing milk. I did it for 12 weeks and it was hard work. I was having to express every1-2 hours! I found it helped expressing when my partner fed our little boy it increased my milk to come out more. And also you may laugh but in the bath aswell! I can see if its just you then yes it willl be hard. You have to find a pattern that suits you. Try doing it when little one sleeps. The only downside with expressing is that your milk will dry up quicker because its not as natural as having the baby latched on. This is why I stopped at 12 weeks, my milk dried up. Was so gutted but had o get on with it and move on to formula. Good luck, Let us know how you get on. Chin up x x